Page 67 of Holiday Unscripted
“I just changed my flight.” I hear her say the words and everything inside me stills, everything. “I’m leaving Christmas morning at six a.m.” I stare at her, the sound of my heart pounding in my chest, echoing into my ears, as she tries to hide her smile. “Kidding, I’m kidding.” It’s like all the air inside of me is sucked out and all I can do is look at her. My heart studders as if someone is sitting on my chest.
I turn around to make the scrambled eggs. “Mom and Dad would kill you if you left on Christmas Day,” Joshua informs her and I close my eyes, trying to get a hold of myself.
“You think they are going to do anything Christmas Day after your wedding is the night before?”
“I think they mentioned they would be doing Christmas dinner at the house. But from what I gather, most of the family will be taking off that day.”
“Well, yeah, they only have a couple days off,” Elizabeth says. “I think I heard some of them have to travel on the twenty-sixth.”
“For whoever is left here”—Joshua moves to the coffee machine to make his own coffee—“they are doing a dinner.” He pours a mug and leans against the counter. “So I’ll count you two in.”
“Negative,” Elizabeth denies before me. “I’ll be nursing the biggest hangover I’ve ever had in my whole life.” I look over my shoulder at her. “I plan on drinking as much as humanly possible.” She looks at me and the smile on her face settles me. “Don’t worry, I plan to sleep on the bathroom floor anyway.”
“Well, I’m not telling them that,” he scoffs. “You can tell them that. They might take away the Christmas presents they got for you.”
“Fuck.” She slaps the counter. “I didn’t buy anyone anything,” she hisses. “This is all your fault.” She points to Joshua. “I was so distracted by all the wedding stuff, I forgot presents.”
“If you want,” I offer as I pour the eggs in the pan and start to stir them, “we can hit up the mall, and then there is the Christmas market.”
“Yes,” she agrees. “We can go to the market and get everyone Christmas stuff”—she looks at Joshua—“so they can maybe hate Christmas as much as I do.”
I snort. “You are going to waste money, so they hate Christmas?”
“I didn’t say it was a good plan. I just said it was a plan.”
“Well, we love Christmas stuff,” Joshua reminds.
“Who said I’m getting you anything?” She fights back and he finishes his coffee before putting the mug in the sink, rolling his eyes.
“Okay, I’m out, I will see you guys tonight.”
Elizabeth groans, “Do I really have to practice walking down the aisle if I’m not the one getting married?”
“Yes,” he confirms. “You’re lucky I talked her out of doing a flash mob.”
“No.” Elizabeth shakes her head. “You’re lucky,” she growls at him as he walks to her and kisses her head.
“Love you the most,” he says and she pushes him away.
“You’re a lying liar who lies,” she hisses at him. “You better make sure no one objects at this wedding, or I’ll fight all of you.”
“Don’t put that shit in the universe.” He puts his hands on his hips.
“I’m not putting anything in the universe,” she defends herself as I plate the eggs and then walk over to grab the sausage. “If you fucked up by cheating on her and the woman is coming to claim you, how is it my fault?”
“I’m not cheating on her.” He puts his hands on his head. “Can you not even say that as a joke?”
Her eyes go big and I can see her fucking with him. “If there is already doubt, this marriage is doomed from the beginning.” His face goes ashen.
“Elizabeth,” I say her name and she bursts out laughing.
“I’m just fucking with you. I know you would never cheat on her because if you did and I found out, I would tell Mom, and then she would have Dad kick your ass. Then Jack would kick your ass.” She tilts her head to the side. “Then I would definitely shank you.”
“Noted.” He gives me a chin up and walks out of the house. She pushes away from the counter and gets off, running down the hall after him.
“Where are you going?” I look down the hall to see her coming back into the kitchen.
“I locked the door”—she gets back on her stool—“so no one else comes in here.” I laugh at her. “Imagine if you were doing me on the counter and Joshua just walked in.”
