Page 66 of Chasing Love: The Owens
No matter all the other stuff that went down between us, I took something away from him without giving him a choice. Took something away from Leia.
“I hear you.” She wipes her mouth with a napkin. “And I told you before you got in the car, I’m Team Delaney.”
“You can’t be on my team. You’re his cousin, and I’m in the wrong.”
Her brows crinkle. “True, it wasn’t the best decision, but I can understand why you did it. I can’t imagine how hurt you were. How scared. But that’s all in the past. Now you have to move forward. How do you see this thing playing out?”
I’ve been so hung up on telling him that I didn’t really think about what would happen after Bennett knew. Who tells Leia? What about Wren? Do I allow Bennett visitation on his own? I need to tell Sean that he knows. “I’m not sure. I guess I have to wait until Bennett decides what he wants to do.”
“She’ll be ten before he does something. You need to steer this boat.”
I set my spoon down. “Really?”
She’s nodding as she swallows the last bite of her sundae. I’m thinking we came here more for her than me. “You want my advice?”
“I’m pretty sure you’re going to give it to me regardless.”
“And you should feel honored that I’m going to give you my wisdom.” She smiles and sips her water as if she has to prepare herself. “The biggest question you need to figure out the answer to is whether you want something with Bennett in the future. You know he’s a good dad, you know what kind of man he is, and we both know he’ll eventually forgive you for this and will definitely see how his actions played into your decision. But if you want to see where you guys fit, your girls fit, that dictates your next move.”
I sigh, since over these last few weeks, there have been times when I wanted a future with him more than anything. But how can I ask for that when I’ve been lying to him for so long?
She takes my hand. “I’m not saying right this minute, but think about it, okay?”
I nod, and she squeezes my hand.
“You’re going to get through this and become stronger and happier, I know it.”
I’m desperate to believe her, but I’ve thought that before in my life and then lost it all, more than once.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sean,
* * *
After Bennett left and went back to Willowbrook with Kristie, I continued to work at the company. I was in the running to fill his position, but he had been there for so many years that people were constantly talking about him. How much they missed him, how they wished him well with his new baby and his return home. On and on, my coworkers raved about the man, and one day I just lost it. Turned in my notice to Denise at day’s end and didn’t let them convince me to stay. It was rash, but I felt I needed a clean slate. Hell, I would’ve left California had I been able to afford it.
I was desperate to forget Bennett, so I agreed to a date with my new neighbor—you. I thought you were nice, attractive, and you always found sly ways to ask me out on dates every time our paths crossed. So, I finally agreed. One date turned into another, and although I forgot about Bennett during our dates, at night, my memories still haunted me. He had moved on, was starting a family, reconnecting with his wife. I had to too. So, I continued dating you and allowed you to spoil me as if I was the most important person in your world. It was nice to feel as admired as you made me feel. Of course, now I’m wondering whether any of it was real.
Then my period was late. I initially blamed it on stress, but deep down, I couldn’t forget that one time things got too intense, and Bennett and I didn’t have a condom. We naïvely thought that it couldn’t happen as long as he pulled out. I couldn’t deny the two pink lines once I saw them though. Since I hadn’t slept with anyone else, I knew the baby was Bennett’s.
I spiraled and didn’t know how to handle the news. I went to the doctor, who confirmed I was indeed pregnant, and I started taking prenatal vitamins and allowed myself to come to grips with growing a little baby inside me. I gave excuse after excuse to you, but you became more adamant about continuing our dates, asking me what was wrong. You were so caring and loving that I finally broke down one night.
That’s when you showed up at my door with takeout from my favorite Italian place.
“You need to eat, and I caught you before dinner time, so no excuses.” You gave me a smile that I trusted, so I let you in, thinking I’d break the news to you, and you’d give up the fight for me. Who would want to raise another man’s baby?
We ate, and you asked me a lot of questions about work and my favorite things. You had this way of navigating the conversation around me. Maybe that’s why I felt so important in your eyes. Like you couldn’t find out enough about me, and I was the center of your universe.
After I cleaned up the takeout and you took out the trash for me, I told myself now was the time to tell you.
“Thank you for dinner,” I said.
You sat on the couch, the same spot Bennett had when he’d told me he was leaving me to be with Kristie. I took the spot next to you and confessed to you the whole situation, and the tears started immediately.
“I was dating this guy who was my high school sweetheart, well, not really, but from freshman to junior… oh never mind, it doesn’t really matter, but we broke up right before you moved in. He went back to his wife… oh jeez, I’m not a homewrecker. He was separated, but then she came back to him pregnant. How ironic, he knocked us both up…”
I was a rambling mess, but you never stopped me once. Never asked for further explanation. I liked that. The last thing I wanted was to give you a play by play of my life with Bennett Owens.
