Josh runs his hand over his head with a sigh. “Maybe we should. We’ll start again tomorrow.”
As if tomorrow is going to be any easier than today. They say that time heals all wounds, but how in the world can I get over someone like Emma? She was literally in my hands, and I still lost her.
“Ryan?” Max says, trying to get my attention.
I wave him off and turn back to my desk. “I’m heading out.”
Their footsteps fade a little as they head back to their own desks. I knew that today would be difficult to get through, but findingmy groove again without Emma feels damn near impossible. She’s not here to talk to or bounce ideas off of.
Hell, her presence soothed me when we were working quietly.
Now, I can’t see her at all.
I grab my things and leave the office without another word to my friends. Their radiating misery isn’t helping me feel better in the slightest. Is Emma suffering too?
Or is she happier now without us?
When my feet hit the sidewalk outside of the building, I dig my phone out of my pocket, immediately bringing up Emma’s contact. My thumb hovers over the call button, my heart thumping wildly as I stare at her contact picture.
It’s a photo of her sitting across the conference table from me. I was just playing around, snapping pictures of her as we waited for Josh and Max to join us for a meeting. When she stopped laughing, she finally posed for me, placing her hand on her cheek as she smiled at the camera.
I couldn’t stop admiring that picture. I still can’t.
Right now, I just want to hear her voice. I want to know if she’s okay. If she misses us. If she’s better off.
But she must be, right? We’re no longer around each other, so she doesn’t have to worry about her family finding out about our desires for each other. She doesn’t have to stress over anything anymore.
Am I really going to mess that up for her?
“Fuck.” I sigh in defeat as I turn off my phone. The urge to throw it across the damn street to keep myself from going back on my decision flashes across my mind, but I tuck my phone into my pocket instead.
The point of all this pain is to avoid worse consequences. I have to remember that.
But it’s so hard when she haunts my mind day and night.
Chapter twenty-five
Chapter Twenty-Five: Emma
The next few weeks are as torturous as I expect them to be.
Not only am I in the middle of jobs, but I can’t see the guys again. It’s too risky. Until I can get my feelings under control and figure out how to emotionally move on, I can’t be around them.
That’s a slippery slope, and I’m already dealing with enough in my life as it is.
“Have you heard back from any companies?”
Mom’s question is like nails on a chalkboard, making me internally grimace as I sense the tense, grueling conversation that’s about to follow. When my parents invited me over for dinner today, I suspected that my current job status would be brought up.
It’s almost all my parents seem to think about. Are they really that worried that I’m going to end up broke and on the side of the street?
I thought that they would have more faith in me by now.
“Actually, I have,” I state as I cut into my piece of grilled chicken breast, feeling the weight of my parents’ gazes as they sit across the dining table from me. “I’m meeting a potential client today.”
Mom perks up. “Really? Do they live here? Is it a long term thing?”
I chew slowly, buying myself some time to think of an answer that’ll soothe their nerves. I won’t be telling them what they really want to hear. “He’s from California. He’s just here on business.”