Page 48 of Between Never and Forever
He wasn’t there in the morning, either.
Our first night together was a sort of haunting fluke I knew I’d have to get over. Yet my body still ached in places it hadn’t before, and it was because of him.
He left me a text early the next morning—at 6 a.m. to be exact—like that was a normal time to be up.
Dex: You have a HEAT watch programmed on your nightstand for accessing most areas of the resort, including the penthouse. Use it.
Dex: Also, Penelope can cater in your dinners if you want. Send her any dietary restrictions.
It was already quite apparent he wouldn’t be eating with me, but his text drew an even bolder line.
Me: I have it handled.
I went to my rehearsals that day. I worked with my techs. I kept busy.
That night, I called Olive and ate at a resort restaurant with her, too nervous to sit around the penthouse waiting for him. Still, I was home early enough that night to see him working in his office, and although I was sure he heard me too, we didn’t talk. I holed up in my bedroom and read through a whole romance novel because I couldn’t sleep, knowing he was just a room away.
For the rest of the week, I felt my anxiety build. I had a team there now—backup singers, bandmates, dancers. The management was present, and Dimitri stopped by with Bane to confirm everything was working the way it should.
“Dex check the security for the theater?” Dimitri asked. I said I didn’t know. Olive said she’d discussed it with my management team.
So many people helping to run the show allowed for Dex and I to not communicate at all if we didn’t want to. And I didn’t think he did. He’d agreed to this sham of an engagement, but that was all it was to him. Yet having him so near without any words exchanged felt wrong, foreign, and uncomfortable.
Mitchell called to talk about my next album, told me I should talk with Dex about looking over our contracts too. “He saw the addendum regarding you associating yourself with a prominent individual. You know, regarding the engagement. So, that’s all he needs to see, don’t you think? Him seeing your past contracts with us or the one you have for the next six months really isn’t necessary. He shouldn’t ask for that.”
But of course Dex had, because he was organized, efficient, and structured. I had started to notice he was gone every morning and then home at night in his office working. At the same exact time every day.
I was surprised when the night before, he wasn’t home in his office typing away when I arrived. So, I took my time getting ready for bed, waiting to hear the door open, waiting to just feel his presence. I meandered around and realized his penthouse suite was very organized. His food was in compartments in the fridge, his toiletries lined up in the bathroom perfectly like his closet had been.
That night, I wondered where he could be that he would have gone off his structured schedule, and then I told myself I didn’t have a right to know. He lived a neat life where everything had a place, and he wouldn’t mess it up with a contract he didn’t know anything about.
Unless I pushed for it.
“Everything’s going to be changing anyway. Let’s leave the past in the past,” Mitchell summed up.
I sighed. I wanted that too. I didn’t want Dex to know why I’d given him up. My father had squandered so much of our money, and I’d never been strong enough to tell him how much that hurt, that he needed to find help for his gambling problem, that he was hurting the whole family. How do you tell the parent you always wanted to make proud that they weren’t makingyouproud?
How did you stand up for yourself when all you wanted to do was standwiththem?
I wasn’t only ashamed though that I hadn’t stood up to my father, I was ashamed that I hadn’t handled my family’s situation. My father reminded me time and time again that we kept our family issues private, that he didn’t need any help with finances, that we could handle this ourselves.
I continued to believe him. Or just hold on to hope that I could and would figure out how to take care of them on my own.
Dex didn’t need to know anything else about it.
No one did. “I’ll make sure we leave the past in the past, Mitchell.”
“Should we start looking over the contract for next year? Ezekiel stopped by and he’s got a great offer—”
“Not today.” And not ever. This was the last time I signed away my brand to anyone, but I’d hold off telling him I wasn’t resigning. “Let’s not bring attention to that with Dex right now. I don’t want him being a part of that. Do you?”
“No. No. Of course not.” Mitchell was quick to rethink it.
I ended the call with a new mission of keeping the contracts from Dex and more determination to make my career work without Trinity Enterprises.
Swimming out in open water on my own was frightening, like I’d drown and potentially take my father and mother with me. It was easier to feel invincible on my own. Yet, when I considered my family, the idea of professionally failing, drowning, or dying was much more impactful.
So, I worked hard that week, and as I finished up a vocal lesson late one evening, I looked over at Olive to ask if she wanted to eat at one of the resort’s restaurants again and have a drink too. “It’s late, but I’m feeling like I need to do something.”
