Page 11 of Between Never and Forever
His green eyes scanned the area. “A high school crush is barely something to fret over.”
Flippantly, he dismissed all we’d had. “Is that all it was to you?”
“What more could it be? You left and moved on. So did I.”
Why did I want him to not mean it? Why did I need him to hurt like I did? Because I still loved him. I still dreamed of this spot. I still held on to the taste of his lips, the feel of his hands, the way his heart beat with mine.
“I didn’t move on,” I uttered, my voice cracking under the weight of my emotion. “I called you and—”
He stepped close to me and put his hand on my cheek as one tear fell from my eye. His thumb immediately brushed it away, like he was taking care of me even while the words he said were cold. “I didn’t answer, Kee, because I didn’t care.”
“So you don’t care at all, then?”
He sighed like he was dealing with a child, then he tilted my head up so his lips were aligned with mine. “Do you feel something when I kiss you, Kee? Tell me. Do you get butterflies?”
This time he kissed me softly, so softly. My eyes fluttered closed to take in how featherlight his touch could be, how he could treat me like I was precious.
“I feel everything,” I confessed because I at least could honor our relationship even if he wouldn’t. I opened my eyes to search his. “I want you still, Dex.”
Emotion of some sort was there now as he glared at me, irises deep green like a forest in the midst of a dark storm. “You’re stunning, Keelani. Does the world know how beautiful you look after you’ve been kissed by me? How your eyes light up? How a blush paints your cheeks? Would they know what’s under this bikini?” His finger dipped into the waist of my bottoms, and he dragged it along the edge before his hand disappeared underneath. I gasped as he swept his fingers over my clit to play with me, to test how aroused I was.
His mouth went to my ear. “Soaking already. Such a fucking good all-American girl. You built that brand so well, Keelani.” He sneered the name. “Do you think they know you still get wet for me like this?”
His finger slid into my pussy, and I didn’t stop him. Instead, I pulled him close. I wanted his masterful mouth even if it was venomous now, and he gave it to me. I pulled him down to the ground and stared up at him, the trees above us, their leaves as green as Dex’s eyes. I’d like to think I saw hunger in them now, and when I lifted my knees on either side of his hips and rolled them into his hand, that jaw flex wasn’t fake. He wanted me too.
“It doesn’t matter what everyone knows right now. All that matters is we both know we still want each other.” I rubbed my hand down his chest to his belt buckle and then his length. I whimpered at the sheer size of him, hard, thick, solid through his jeans.
“You like how I feel against your hand, Kee?” he asked, his head bent forward, his breathing coming faster now. Mine was too. I couldn’t stop what was about to happen because I wanted him there in that grass, alone in our garden among the lilacs and memories we once had. Maybe I was lonely, maybe I was still torn apart from what had happened before, or maybe I simply still loved him.
No one forgets a regret as big as losing your first love. No one survives it without scars and pain. I wanted to heal us in that moment, and I wanted him to want that too. “You know I like how you feel, Dex. I always have. Please. I need you. Show me you need me too.”
He chuckled in my ear as I bucked against his fingers. He slid another one in, and I gasped as he curled them at just the right angle. Up and down. Up and down. Soft at first, then harder and harder. “Are you sure I still want you?”
“Yes,” I hissed, frustrated that he wouldn’t admit it. He was fighting this, and we’d both been stubborn for years. I didn’t want to be anymore. “You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.”
“Maybe I just want to fuck you once and for all, Kee. Ever think of that? Most men in the nation want to now, but you’re so close with Ethan Phillipe.” He sneered the name.
“He’s good for the brand. You know that. If you read my texts and listened to my voicemails…” I took a deep breath and tried to move past the hurt of him ignoring them all. “You didn’t respond, Dex,” I whispered.
“I didn’t respond because it was you who left,” he said. “You chose to have me only like this. You’re the heartbreaker here, Kee, not me.”
“No. I did what I had to do. You know that nothing between Ethan and me is—” I cried out as he pinched my clit, then I shuddered under him as he moved his fingers faster.
“This pussy is still so tight. It’s begging for me and only me to fill it up, fuck you into oblivion, and make this good girl be bad. No one else can do that like me, you know that don’t you?”
His words pushed me closer toward the brink even though I hated us talking about it. And then he pulled away from my face so he could sit between my legs, his face not close to mine anymore. He was putting distance between us, yet he kept his hand between my legs and stared down at how he played with me.
“Spread your legs.” His tone was much more commanding now, deeper, authoritative.
“Dex, someone could—”
“Want me to stop?” His hand froze, and I bit my lip to keep from screaming out my disapproval. Instead, my body immediately obeyed, legs spreading wide. “That’s it. Now, should I call you good or bad for that? You shouldn’t be here when you have Ethan Phillipe waiting for you, right?”
I hated that I wanted him to call me both, and when I didn’t answer, he smiled like he knew exactly why. “I don’t care what you call me, Dex. Just… I need this.”
He rolled a thumb over my clit. “Untie your bikini top and touch those tits for me. Let me see how much you want it. Work yourself up.”
Maybe this was where I rebelled, where I did what I wanted instead of listening to the record label for once. I’d moved away from Dex. I’d let Trinity control my every step in the limelight. They’d arranged an alliance with Ethan, dictated my fashion style, filled my calendar so fully I’d go for months on end without a single day off—so here at home, with the guy I still loved, I wanted one more moment.
