Page 88 of Between Commitment and Betrayal
I winced at his words. What a terrible way to see the world and how sad that I knew he was right. The media would eat up that I was pregnant, that we wanted a beautiful family to carry on the legacy. “Or he wanted his legacy protected.”
“Probably a little bit of both.” He shook his head, and then he quietly murmured, “It can’t be that bad thinking of having kids with me, Everly.”
I glared at him, thinking about babies with him, thinking about the life I wanted, thinking about how he could be a part of that. “Happily ever afters aren’t made this way.” My voice cracked even though I whispered it and I hated that tears came to my eyes.
I slid his ring off and he immediately shook his head at me, his gaze hardening as he commanded, “You keep my ring on your finger, Everly.”
“I’m not wearing this ring. And you shouldn’t have that bracelet on either.” I grabbed for his wrist but he held it out of reach.
“You’re not taking my bracelet.” He said it like he was truly offended.
I almost screamed but stomped my foot and glared at him instead. Then, I used my teeth to untie my matching bracelet from my wrist, holding his fighting gaze with my own. I held them both up and outstretched my arm for him to take the jewelry. “Take them. I don’t want them.”
“No. Put them back on.” He crossed his arms, his tone authoritative.
I lifted a brow. “Absolutely not. I’m never going to wear anything from a man who makes decisions without me. If you think—”
“I said we’d go to the doctor. That’s it,” he proclaimed.
“Without my fucking say,” I bellowed as I threw the ring and bracelet at him. He didn’t flinch as he caught them both somehow.
“Jesus Christ, Everly. I didn’t think it was a big deal to just go to the—”
“I don’t care! It’s a baby, Declan! A freakingbaby. For the legacy of a man I barely even could call my father.”
“Drop, he thought what he was doing was right. You wanted kids—”
“Not like this.” I stumbled back away from him, using the desk to hold me upright at his words. “Not because my father says so. Not because some fucking will says so. You would do it just for that?”
“No.” He shook his head, then growled up at the ceiling. “Yes. I don’t fucking know. With you? Yeah, I’d have a fucking kid with you. I don’t need to plan it like you, Drop, or think about all the different outcomes. In my life, if it feels right, I move forward. I push the obstacles out of the way, and I get what I want. You’ve always felt right, babe—”
“But a baby? Like this? Does thisfeelright?” I slammed my hand on my desk and shut my eyes, trying to block out how his words felt in my heart, cracking away at my walls and making me imagine something that couldn’t possibly be right. “Because this feels like we’re forced, like we don’t even have a real relationship and now we’re rushing to bring another human into it for what? A studio and some shares? I won’t. I’ll find another way.”
“This isn’t just about a studio anymore. And there isn’t another way.” He groaned. “I met with the lawyers all last week at night, okay? I made the damn calls. I’ve had them working on a way of getting out of whatever stipulation I thought would be coming. They told me whatever it was that it would be upheld in court because the fucking judge knew Carl.”
“So that’s where you were going every night?”
“Yes,” he said it cautiously.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“You didn’t need something else on your plate—”
“Don’t ever treat me like I can’t handle something, Declan. I’ve handled shit my whole fucking life.” I stepped up to him and poked his chest. “Don’t think that because Iletyou take care of me a time or two, you know how to handle burden better than I do, that I haven’t held bone-crushing burden on my shoulders too.”
His jaw worked up and down, up and down, but his gaze held remorse even as he ground out, “I’m always going to take care of you, Everly. I won’t apologize for trying to—”
“You’re not acting like this is even a friendly partnership between us.” I pointed to that bracelet on his wrist. “I gave you that because we were starting to operate as a team. We’d committed to that by signing the marriage contract, I thought. Teams share what they’re doing for one another, and then they work together. That’s a commitment, that’s a team, that’s amarriage. I’m yourequal, not a damsel in distress and—”
“No. You’re not my equal, Everly!” He cut me off, his hand slicing through the air. “Don’t you see that? You’re so far above me, I’m scared to eventouchyou right now. You endured a shit ton of pain but still made it out without a single thing to mar your soul. But I know the media, I know how they twisted the story of my wrist, how they said I’d never play again. That shit ate at me for months, how it happened, how everyone lied. And it’s fucking nothing compared to what you went through. Carl knew our marriage would bring them back out, and he’s put us here for me to fucking change the narrative. So you have to let me try.”
I shook my head at him. He rammed straight through everything, wanted to bulldoze into getting his way, and he truly believed he would get it. He did most of the time.
But how could we be sure enough to do it again? And did it matter? Because at the end of the day, I had to want this. We had towanta baby.
My heart thumped while my blood rushed around, and my thoughts scrambled everywhere. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know how this is possible.” My life was slipping through my fingertips like sand, and I couldn’t catch a single part of it.
“Because your father made it that way.”
