Page 50 of Between Commitment and Betrayal
“My jersey is best.”
“I’m not so sure,” I threw back. “I’ve yet to see either of you play.”
“Right. You don’t watch football,” he grumbled like I was insane.
* * *
The ride homewas quiet until my phone buzzed with a text.
I stared at it for probably too long.
Tonya: His hearing is coming up. Should we go?
It’d been over a year, almost two if I was counting. But I hated doing that, hated thinking about the night I’d lost who I was, the day Tonya had lost her best friend, the day I’d pretty much died and become someone else.
I didn’t want to dwell. So I’d left. She’d stayed.
Tonya was the best friend of a girl who was dead to me. I was someone new. I’d left that life behind, hoping the media and the pain and the hurt wouldn’t follow me.
“Everly?” Declan murmured.
I jumped, and his hand went to my arm to steady me.
“Sorry,” I murmured and turned my phone off.
“Who was texting you?”
“No one.” I tried to brush it off.
He grumbled, “You’re a terrible liar.”
“It’s nothing important to my life now.”
And as I watched him comb his hand through his dark hair, I had to believe that. I had a new life here, a stepping stone that could lead me to a life that was better than before. And doing what Declan and I were doing wasn’t helping. Not when he was as famous as he was. Not when I wanted my past to stay in the past.”
Entertaining our desire could only lead to the path of destruction. The media would dissect our relationship, they’d hold it under a magnifying glass if we were an actual item. It’s why we needed to stick to the original plan. Make this marriage a clean one of convenience. Instead, we’d gone between our commitments, outside of them, way overshot them.
And even still, my heart wanted more of it. I wanted him commanding me around, I wanted the change in my life more than I’d wanted anything in a long time. But to want was to hope and to hope was to fear, and I’d seen how hope could be ripped away.
I’d lost the hope of forging a meaningful relationship with my father.
Lost the hope of a future I’d thought would last with my ex.
I’d lost hope in who I was and what I’d become too.
When Declan stopped the car in front of the guesthouse, I knew this had to be the end.
“I’ve already figured out plans for tomorrow. I’m going to Clara’s bakery first thing, and it’ll be nice to walk, so don’t worry about me.”
He studied me, his vivid eyes narrowing. “You always do what you plan, don’t you?”
“It relieves anxiety for me.” I shrugged.
“You can’t plan everything.” His voice came out low. Declan shifted and changed plans when he wanted, indulged in all he desired, and lived a life I couldn’t.
“Yes, I’m aware.” I needed to plan much better than I had in the past. I shifted in my seat. “But I’m going to try.”
We let the silence bounce between us, louder than words in the night. “We’re going to be more than a friendly commitment, Everly. You can’t avoid that now. This relationship is changing.”
