Page 23 of Triple Pucked
Sometimes, I’d watch people in class at high school, assessing how easily they’d chat to each other. They made small talk that I never understood.
I’d tilt my head, as they joked and laughed.
Back at home, when I was alone in the bedroom that I shared with Cody, I’d practice laughing in a mirror.
But silently.
I didn’t understand the other pupils’ jokes but I could learn to laugh along. Perhaps, one day they would notice me and then I could pretend and share my laugh that was normally caught behind my teeth.
Except, they never did.
I’m learning that isn’t friendship.
Plus, Shay’s desperation to please, his clown class act, wasn’t either.
Cody and D’Angelo are showing me that not in words but by their actions.
I trace over the robin tattoo on my arm.
My Robyn.
The woman who I’d burn the world for.
Should I tell Robyn that I’m busy categorizing my Burn List?
The dark romance book that I read last week would advise that she’d find it hot to know the people I’m ready to burn for her sake.
My brow furrows.
Is dark romance a reliable guide to women? Would Robyn prefer to know who I would murder for her, over drinking my tea?
Unlike Shay who has dated and fucked a lot of people, my Robyn is my first girlfriend.
My first kiss.My first everything.
With her, I no longer feel like only my twin’s shadow.
I stroke the tattoo thoughtfully.
The bedroom is flooded with pale sun from both the arched windows that look over the orange rose garden below but also the skylights.
Shay lay on the bed last night in wonder staring up at the moon and stars.
He grasped my hand; I could feel the tremor running through him. “We can stargaze every night, Dee. Jude gifted us the bloody stars.”
I focus on the tea, nudging the mug towards Robyn again.
In a panic, she ignores it, however, along with the breakfast tray of muffins, pastries, and fruit that I got up at dawn to bake.
My throat feels like it is closing up. I can’t force out any words.
Waking up this morning in the same bed with Robyn in our firsthometogether is like a promise that Shay and I have finally found a place that we belong.
A promise that I am finally a real person.
My hands clench at my sides.
I don’t know what to do with this emotion.
