Page 50 of Already At Risk
“Are you sure? Because you were either upset about that or whatever Noah?—”
“Jealous,” he interrupted, causing every word in my brain to fall out of my head. My breath hitched, making it hard to reply, but I didn’t have to. Because he was still talking, making everything clear, putting things out in the open just like I’d wanted. “I wasn’t upset. I was jealous, Natalie.”
Cameron had yet to look away from me, his gaze blazing as he repeated himself.
“And I’m sorry,” he added with a sigh. “Really, I am. I swear I’m trying my best here. I don’t want anything for you but the best.”
I could tell he meant it. He really, really meant it. And that should make everything better, but it made it all worse.Somuch worse.
Guilt seeped into my bones, filling me with so much remorse and regret. If I could have just trusted him a little more from the beginning, if I could have let him in six months ago, we probably wouldn’t be here. Or at the very least, I could have walked out of his office that first day I showed up with my brothers and asked foranother lawyer.
But I’d wantedhimas my lawyer, and I hadn’t known it would be like this. I didn’t realize that a simple attraction would be so hard to ignore.
Cameron seemed to read my mind, like he always appeared to have the capacity to do. He gripped the back of the chair next to me, leaning on it and lowering his voice.
“Look, I don’t blame you for pushing me away that night because you weren’t ready. And I don’t blame you for hiring me as your lawyer because I’m a damn good lawyer.” His voice dropped another degree, and there was something so gritty and sexy about it, causing goose bumps to prickle my skin. “And I certainly don’t blame you for wanting to rekindle your sex life, Natalie. But I don’t think I can handle hearing about you fucking other guys when I am soviscerallyattracted to you and can do absolutely nothing about it, even if itwaswhat you wanted.”
My lips parted in surprise while my brain played Cameron’s rough voice and the things he’d just said on a loop. I shook my head, trying to comprehend. I knew there was attraction, but Cameron soundeddestroyedby it.
“Don’t look at me like that, Sunshine,” he breathed, his voice softer now. “You know it’s true; you know I am.”
“You’ve been professional,” I said, feeling the odd need to come to his defense. “Mostly.”
Maybe we’d been a little more…comfortable with each other than was customary, but there were other factors involved. We had the same social circle. We’d met before. There had been circumstances, like running into each other at restaurants and me signing the wrong name. It wasn’t like he was showing up at my house unprompted.
Cameron nodded, like he was agreeing with everything I was thinking.
We’d explored the line, the one wecouldcross. But wehadn’tcrossed it, and that was what was important here. Right?
“And I’m trying so hard to keep it that way, okay?” he assured me. “I just had a momentary lapse of control of my emotionswhen I heard…” He pressed his lips together like he didn’t want to repeat it. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
He fell silent, but his gaze was anything but that. He didn’t look away, trying to convince me with those deep, brown eyes that he meant every word he said. It made me feel hot from the inside out, causing my breathing to quicken, forcing me to wonder what else might happen if I let this manmorethan look at me, considering what he seemed to be able to do to my body with just a stare.
I wished I could find out.
And I owed it to him to be honest, just like he was to me.
“What if I said itiswhat I want?” I asked, keeping my voice low. “That I wish it could be you?”
Warning flashed in Cameron’s gaze.
“Natalie, don’t.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Why can you voice things aloud, but I can’t?”
Cameron’s eyes fluttered shut, like he was disarmed by my words.
“You’re right. But when you say things like that, it chips away at my resolve. And I need…” He released a shaky breath, like he was preparing himself to look at me again. His eyes flashed open, hitting me with heat and want and so many things that felt so good. “I need to hang on to something here.”
“I understand, and I’m sorry,” I breathed. “I just…” I shrugged, forcing myself to look away, to sever the connection. Except I could still feel it, the heat on the side of my face. Maybe I could convince myself it was just the sun streaming through the windows, the effect of a cloudless day. But I’d know it was a lie. Boston was miserably wet outside today. “I just have a feeling…that I could trust you with this. Like you’d respect me. And my boundaries. And trust is so hard to come by. Hard for me to find.”
I looked down at my hands, folding them on the table and twiddling my thumbs in the wake of laying my vulnerabilities outfor him to see. Cameron was silent, stewing or something. I wasn’t sure. I tried not to care. I glanced up at the glass wall instead, watching as people walked by, unaware of the conversation we were having. I supposed people in law offices had tense conversations all the time, right? This wasn’t any different than that.
Except a minute later, Cameron leaned down, so close that his lips brushed my ear and the delicious notes of sandalwood filled my senses, his cologne wrapping around me. “I would takesuchgood care of you in the bedroom, Sunshine. I would give you everything that you needed and more. You know I’d besofucking good to you.”
And then he stood, so quickly that I almost wondered if I’d imagined the last few seconds.
But then everything became clear when the door to the conference room opened, and in walked a tall man whom I immediately recognized as Korey’s lawyer. He was the same lawyer he’d used in the initial proceedings, which did strike me as a little odd, considering those proceedings had not exactly gone the way he’d wanted them to.
