Page 73 of Already At Risk
There was a reason we’d needed to slow down, and this was it. I wanted to be careful with Natalie, wanted to make sure I understood her. She deserved that, even if I could tell she was impatient right now.
“I assume you’re still on birth control,” I started, and she nodded, confirming that thought. “What’s your stance on condoms?”
She crossed her ankles, staring at them for a second. “I would prefer to use a condom, especially if you haven’t been tested in a while.”
“I have been tested since my last sexual partner, but I don’t have a problem with using condoms,” I said, looking at her and hoping she would look up so I could get a better read on her expression.
But all I could see was the slight furrow of her brow, a touch of curiosity, before she opened her mouth.
“When—” she started and then snapped her mouth shut again.
I had no problem sharing, though. “About nine months ago.”
“Nine,” she repeated, seeming surprised. Her head lifted, and she watched my mouth confirm the number.
“Nine.”
No one since you, Sunshine.
She stared at me, and I could see more questions on the tip of her tongue.
“You can ask, Natalie.”
No one owes anyone information about their sexual history, but I wanted Natalie to feel as comfortable with me as possible. I wanted her to know that she could open up to me about her own history if she chose to, and if this made it easier for her to do that, then by all means.
But Natalie shook her head in dismissal of the idea.
“The women you’ve slept with before are none of my business,” she muttered, glancing down at her lap.
“Women and men,” I corrected and then worked on heating the pasta, tossing it in a pan and throwing the burner on. Once that was going, I took out some of the leftover sauce, coating it over the noodles before giving everything a stir.
When I looked back to Natalie, she was watching me carefully.
“Thank you for sharing that,” she said softly and then cocked her head to the side, once again mildly inquisitive but supportive, like she just wanted to know everything about me, about someone’s sexual experience that had been different—and likely better, certainly less traumatic—than her own.
But when she stayed silent, I sighed and asked, “What are you thinking, Natalie?”
“Just that—” She pressed her lips together, a pretty blush coating her cheeks again. “It’s probably unfair of me to ask you not to sleep with any other partners while we’re doing this, but?—”
“It’s not unfair of you, and I have no problem with that,” I replied as I stirred the pasta. Not really a hard ask, considering Ihadn’t even so much as thought about another person since the moment I laid my eyes on her. How could I when she consumed the entirety of my brain,allof it? Every single day. It was exhausting and exhilarating and also slightly mortifying, if I were honest. “As long as I can ask you the same.”
Maybe I was a selfish ass for not wanting to share her, but I didn’t care.
“Of course,” she assured me, and then gave a little chuckle, like the thought of her sleeping with someone else was humorous, like men wouldn’t be scrambling at the chance.
But I also knew she wasn’t ready to give any of them one.
No, only me.
And I wouldn’t be taking any of that for granted. Not at all.
It was quiet for a minute or two as Natalie watched me finish preparing her food. She didn’t protest, which told me that maybe shewashungry for more than just sex at the moment, but she did ask if she could help. More than once. I shook my head each time, wanting her to get used to the idea that when she was with me, she didn’t need to worry about taking care of anything. She did that enough with the rest of her life.
“Let’s get some food into you,” I murmured, grabbing an empty bowl from the cupboard and filling it up. Natalie eyed me as I prepared it, her lips stretching in a playful grin.
“Are you carb loading me, Cameron?”
I shrugged, stabbing a few pieces of penne with a fork and blowing on them. “Maybe.”
