Page 61 of Already At Risk
“I just mean…I think we’ll be less distracted if we simply let it happen,” I tried to explain. “Instead of using our time together at the office to think about how much wewantit to happen.” I paused when I realized what I’d just revealed, suddenly feeling shy about it. “At least, that’s how it’s been for me. Maybe it hasn’t been for you.”
“Oh, Natalie.” Cameron released a throaty chuckle, and then his voice dropped to a pitch I’d never quite heard before. “You have no fucking idea what it’s been like for me.”
My stomach flipped. “Tell me?”
“You want to hear about that?” He sounded surprised that I asked, but how could Inot? “You want to hear how I have to keep my hands in my fucking pockets all the time because the urge to touch you is so strong, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop myself? You want to hear about how just the smell of your vanilla perfume drives me wild for hours, even after you leave my office?” He released an exhale filled with pent-upemotions. “You’re absolutely right, Sunshine. I spend way too much time thinking about how much I want you.”
It took me a second to be able to respond, letting his words wrap around me, making me feel less alone in this. “Then I think we should free up some of that brain space by giving you what you want,” I said diplomatically.
Cameron sighed again, like he didn’t believe it was quite that simple, but I didn’t understand why. Personally, I thought this woulduncomplicate things.
“Again,” he started, his voice steady again. “This isn’t about what I want. So why don’t we talk about some of your concerns you mentioned earlier?”
“Concerns?”
“About our compatibility,” Cameron answered patiently. “And the things you’re interested in.” There was a pause before he added, “In bed,” as if wanting to make that point exponentially clear.
“I…” My mind felt like it had been wiped blank. It wasn’t like I’d been holding on to a checklist. I just wanted to trysomething. “I don’t really know, to be honest.”
Cameron hummed to himself, thinking about that for a long moment. Finally, he asked, “Are you in bed right now, Sunshine? Finished your nighttime routine?”
“Yes.” A pause before my curiosity took over. “Are you?”
“Yeah.” The rustle of sheets while he readjusted proved that. “I’m in bed.”
“Reading anything interesting from Juniper’s library?”
He laughed softly. “Couldn’t concentrate on any kind of reading tonight.”
“No?”
“No, Natalie.” His voice was like velvet.
“Baseball?”
“Not that, either.”
“That’s…too bad.”
Even over the phone, he somehow had the ability to unnerve me with his directness.
“I think I’ll be alright,” he murmured. “But I’d rather be there. With you.”
“That would be nice,” I whispered.
“Yeah?” I imagined him looking at me with a cocked brow and a slight twist of his lips. “Just nice?”
I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see it. “Depends what we’d be doing if you were here.”
“What a good point.” There was humor in his voice, like this was what he’d been trying to get to all along. “What would you want us to be doing, Natalie? If I were there. Right now. In bed with you.”
The thought alone overwhelmed and excited me. I tried to imagine Cameron here, beside me. He would take up so much space, in the best way possible. His broad shoulders leaning against my headboard, his long legs stretching across the bedspread, his hands wandering, closing the distance between us the way they did beneath the table today.
I’d want him to touch me. It could be anywhere, doing anything. I wasn’t sure I cared, wasn’t sure I wanted to dictate it. “I think I’d want you to decide,” I answered after a long beat.
“Yeah?”
He couldn’t keep the eagerness from his voice, and I smiled to myself.
