Page 60 of Already At Risk
“Five lessons,” Cameron repeated, but something about the stilted tone of his voice had me backpedaling.
“Is that too much? Just one is fine, too. I don’t want to take too much of your time or anything like that. It was just an idea?—”
“Natalie,” he cut in, voice unyielding. “You’re not taking too much of my time. Five nights sounds good.”
It was too late, though. I was already spiraling, wondering if I was asking too much from him, a man who had already offered me so much.
“Is there something I can do for you in return?”
When it was silent on the other end, I attempted to joke.
“Can I interest you in a crocheted animal, perhaps?”
Cameron sighed heavily through the phone, and I winced, bracing myself for whatever was to come. Sometimes, it was hard to get a read on him, and it was even harder to do over the phone.
“I don’t know how I can be any more blunt, but I’ll try,” he said finally. “I want to fuck you, Natalie. Badly. And you’re saying I get to. Possibly five times.” He paused, and I imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose like he did sometimes. “Trust me. You don’t need to offer me anything more than that. Even though I am positive you make an exceptional crocheted cat.”
And because I didn’t exactly know how to respond to that when my pulse had taken off like a rocket and my body felt clammy and hot, I murmured, “The one I made for Chloe turned out really good.”
“I bet it did.” His voice had softened. “Look, Sunshine. I promise I won’t pressure you into going anywhere with this that you don’t want to. We can keep it to five lessons, but know I’m not going to push you for more than you’re ready for. If that’s what you’re worried about.”
Of course it was. Except it wasn’t entirely about what Iwanted. Truth was, I liked Cameron.A lot. In another world, where I wasn’t burdened by the trauma Korey had put me and mydaughter through, I’d be eager to start something with him. Something where we planned to spend time together inandout of the bedroom. But knowing what I did now, about how relationships could turn on you if you weren’t careful, I couldn’t let myself get ahead of anything. Even if I did trust Cameron, keeping this situation secret and experimental with firm boundaries was what I needed.
“I know you want to be careful about Chloe,” Cameron added, and my heart lurched into my throat. “So I’ll be mindful of that, too. I wouldn’t want to confuse her or give her any kind of false expectations if we’re just experimenting.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. Because his words truly meant more to me than I really knew how to express, the fact that he was considering Chloe, that he was prioritizing Chloe the way I did.
“Of course, Natalie.” I imagined the way his brown eyes would flick over me when he said my name and smiled to myself. “As for the firm, if anyonedidfind out…” He hesitated, and it was the first time I heard a bit of uneasiness. “It would be best if we could say that this started before the case. If we could say we hooked up the night we met, and it just continued.”
“That would be better?” I asked, surprised.
“Still not ideal, but there’s less of a strict rule on it if it was a preestablished…relationship of sorts.”
“Then we hooked up the night we met,” I replied easily, wondering if I dared to ask Cameron what the consequences would be if thatweren’tthe case. “It’s not…I mean, atotallie. Otherwise, I wouldn’t know what your lips feel like.”
“Not totally, no,” Cameron said, his voice a soft hush. “I wish I could say the same, though.”
My stomach fluttered at his quiet admission.
“We’ll fix that soon,” I promised.
Cameron let out a muffled groan, like he’d pressed his face into a pillow.
More flutters erupted inside me. I couldn’t remember ever being wanted like this. To be honest, I was having a hard timebelieving it was real. Before getting my hopes up too high, I should really makesureit was real. That this wasn’t going to fall apart before it came to fruition.
“Are you positive you want to?—”
“Yes,” he interrupted. “I could not be any more positive, Natalie.”
The words dropped like an anvil between us, leaving no room for any further questioning.
Okay, then. It was real.
My pulse picked up, hammering in my chest, my throat, my veins. I felt it everywhere that he’d touched, like a delayed echo.
“I think this will actually help.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to unnecessarily convince him or if I was attempting to reassure myself that we were making the right decision, but I needed to say this aloud. “With the case.”
Cameron didn’t answer right away. He released a heavy sigh before replying. “I promise you it won’t hurt it.”
