Page 159 of Already At Risk
But I had no problem if she wanted to dictate more of what happened when we were together.
“I’m bringing it up now instead of in the moment because I want you to know that I mean it,” Natalie rushed on. “I understand why you insisted last time, considering my…emotional state and what I’d requested before, but this time?—”
“Natalie,” I cut in because it wasn’t adding up in my brain what she was talking about.
“Sorry.” She sucked in. “I’d just—I’d like you to fuck me without a condom.” She swallowed and added, “Using one was a safety measure for me. A security blanket. But I already feel so safe with you, Cameron. And I don’t feel like I need that anymore. But it’s up to you, and if that’s something you’re okay with.”
If I wasokaywith that?
Her words were squeezing my heart.Andmy dick, making it feel like it was going to explode. The chance to feelallof Natalie London with no barriers?
When I remained speechless, Natalie went on to add, “I’m still on birth control, of course, and?—”
I shook my head and stepped out of the car.
I hadn’t meant to hesitate when she made her request; I’d just been stunned. And I didn’t want her to misunderstand. So I walked around to Natalie’s side of the car and opened her door when she still hadn’t. She looked up at me like an adorable deer in the headlights.
Jerking my head toward the back door, I directed, “Inside, Mama.”
“Oh.” Her mouth formed a perfect O as she blinked at me, and then she scrambled to her feet.
Walking with quick, impatient strides with Natalie on my heels, I went to the door, punching in the digits on the lock to let us inside. My blood had been running hot all evening long, ever since I saw Natalie wearing that tight little outfit when I picked her up, butnow? Now, I fucking needed her. Immediately.
The door swung open, and I reached for Natalie’s hand, pulling her inside the house. She flew into me with a gasp, and I grabbed her hips to steady her while walking us back into the kitchen, the door shutting with a bang behind her. An adorable, happy sound slipped out of Natalie, and my heart thumped wildly.
Fuck, did I love this woman. I loved her intelligence, her kindness, her passion. And I loved being here, in this home with her. I loved that she’d welcomed me into it, despite her past and the trauma she’d experienced the last time she let a man in. She didn’t have to give me a chance, and it was a goddamn privilege that she had. I knew what it meant that I was in her kitchen right now, and I wanted tostay. With her. And Chloe. I wanted to stay so fucking bad and build a life here, in this house. Marriage, babies, I wanted the whole damn thing with Natalie London.
And even though I couldn’t say all of this, not yet, not when I’d promised to follow her timeline, and it was still so soon, only our first official date…I wanted a little bit of it tonight. And I suspected she did, too. She’d been so vulnerable earlier, so reassuring that she wanted me to be here, even if she wasn’t quite ready to say words that were on the tip of both of our tongues.
And that was okay. Maybe tonight, we could just play make-believe. Maybe we could just lean into it, let her see how it tasted without risking anything yet.
“You don’t have to reassure me that you’re on birth control, Natalie,” I said lowly, continuing to walk her back until shebumped into one side of the kitchen island. “In fact, what if tonight we just…pretended?”
She blinked, confused. “Pretended?”
“That you’re not.”
“That I’m not?”
“On birth control.” I used my grip on her hips to pick her up and slide her onto the countertop. She gasped in surprise, but her eyes glowed, tracking my words. “And what if we pretended that I’m not justplayingdad?” I wedged myself between her legs and tried to control my grin when she automatically spread her thighs for me, letting me in. “Hm, Natalie? Just for tonight, what if we pretended that that’s exactly what I am.”
Natalie’s breath hitched, but it was hard to say if it had more to do with my proposition or the way I was trailing my fingers up and down her sides. Or maybe it was the press of my erection between her legs when I pulled her to the edge of the countertop.
Her chest heaved as I lowered my head, grazing my lips over hers in a ghost of a kiss.
“I think I’d like to play house with you, Mama,” I breathed and then held my breath, waiting for her to say something.
I didn’t have to wait long.
“Yes, please.” Natalie licked her lips, wetting them and teasing mine in the process. “As long as playing house involves you fucking me in our kitchen.”
Oh, she was going to get fucked, alright.
“On our countertops?”
“Mhm,” Natalie hummed, leaning on her palms and tipping her head back to allow me better access. I trailed my lips down her neck, licking at her pulse point, feeling the racing pace of it beneath my mouth.
“You’d like that, baby?”
