Page 121 of Already At Risk
If we had more time, I’d explain to her that there was nothing about this that was transactional. That I cared about her far more than I should, and I’d always be there if she or Chloe needed me. That there was very little she could do tokeepme from being there for her or Chloe.
One day, she’dfigure it out.
Well, one day, I’d makesureshe figured it out.
But I knew I had to continue my course. Slow, steady, and dependable. That was all I could be and do right now.
“Drive safe for me, okay?” I said, and she nodded. Even that little bit of reassurance from her made me feel better. And yet, unease still swirled in my gut, the same feeling I always got whenever I saw accidents on the news or heard of fatal crashes that brought me back to the worst moments of my life. “Could you…” I cleared my throat, realizing how hoarse I sounded. “I know you’re about to be really busy, but can you please just text me when you get to work?”
“I can do that,” she agreed, voice breathy.
Fifteen minutes later, I got a text from Natalie that she’d made it to SCMC.
And the tension in my stomach finally began to melt.
“Sorry, Champ. Not gonna happen. Those stairs were not built for piggyback rides.”
I chuckled at the image in front of me: Chloe with her hands on her hips, standing at the bottom of the narrow, hundred-year-old steps in Natalie’s townhouse.
“It’s just that my legs are soweakfrom skating all night. I don’t think I can make it to my room to change for dinner.”
Chloe pretended to wilt against the railing, even as the corner of her lips tweaked in a secret smile.
I told Chloe we could either order pizza or walk to the grocery store around the block to make homemade pizza. Surprisingly, she picked the latter. And then asked if we could also pick up root beer and ice cream while we were there, which I suspected explained the dinner decision.
But now, suddenly, her legs weren’t operating.
“Do I need to tell Gemma she’s working you too hard?” I asked, flashing her a look of pretend concern. “Call your mom and tell her your legs stopped moving?”
“No!” Chloe’s eyes grew wide as she straightened. “No, you know what? I think I’m good, actually.”
“Oh, thankgoodness,” I laughed as I watched Chloe start bounding up the stairs. “I’d hate to stress your mom out any more than she already is.”
Chloe flew around the corner at the top of her stairs, disappearing into her bedroom, and I waited in the living room for her to change and come back down, tossing my briefcase on the couch.
I’d gone right from work to the rink, and to her credit, Gemma didn’t even bat an eye when I said I was there to pick Chloe up. I suspected Natalie had told her, but if Gemma thought it was weird, she didn’t say anything. She just smiled when Chloe popped off the bleacher and jumped to reach my high-five greeting.
This was the last thing I expected to be doing tonight, and I still had a pile of work waiting for me after Chloe went to bed, but I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else, doing anything else.
I could tell myself that I was here so that Natalie didn’t have to call Korey, so we could keep our upper hand in the custody trial, that by being here, I was helping my case at work. But all of that would be a lie.
I was here because I wanted to be here. I was here because having to leave after the baseball game the other night had twisted something in my chest, and not even just because I’d wanted to take Natalie to bed and return to my favorite place between her thighs. I was here because nothing else really mattered if Natalie and Chloe weren’t safe and happy and cared for.
“Okay, ready!” Chloe announced as she bounced back down the stairs, wearing jean shorts and a shirt that readBack BaySkating Star. She slipped on a pair of sandals before bounding out the front door without even waiting for me.
I would be lucky if I ever had as much energy as this child.
With a peek outside, I found Chloe sitting on the stoop, told her to stay there, and then locked up the house, exiting through the back before going to meet her in the front. She popped up right away, flashing me with a bright, excited grin that dimmed a little as she went down each step toward the sidewalk.
I was about to ask what was wrong when she cocked her head to the side and looked at me. “You said Mom was stressed?”
The question caught me off guard; it had been a good ten minutes since I said that.
“It’s always a little stressful when things pop up unexpectedly, you know? Your mom has a big job to do and lives to save.” I studied her for a second before deciding to add, “One time, my parents were in a car accident, and someone just likeyourmom savedmymom’s life.”
My dad’s injuries might have been too extensive, but because of surgeons like Natalie, I still had my mom. And I was grateful for that every goddamn day.
I smiled reassuringly at Chloe, hoping to wipe the worry off her face while also being realistic. Chloe was old enough to understand some semblance of the truth. “Being a superhero is a lot of work, but your mom is really good at it.”
