Page 104 of Why Do Earls Fall in Love?
“You didn’t include me today because you don’t trust me. Not truly.”
He tried to protest, but she continued.
“You shut me out because it was safer. Safer for me—that’s what you tell yourself and your friends. But I know the truth, Gabriel. You are protecting yourself. You are still waiting for the other shoe to drop. You are still waiting for me to hurt you.”
He wanted to deny it, but a horrible truth rang in her words.
“I know there is more to your hurt. More layers that you have not shared.” She shook her head. “You will always be circling, just out of reach. And I will always be waiting, trying to coax you to let me in. It will be an endless cycle and we will come to resent each other.” She drew a shuddering breath. “I will be miserable without you, but it will be worse if I stay. For both of us.”
She was right. He’d been waiting. Now the moment was here, and the worst of it was the certain knowledge that he could have prevented it.
“I think I will take Elizabeth with me. She can change identities on the way and reenter her real life after a nice, long stay with me.”
His shattered heart was dropping pieces with every beat. But he nodded. He reached for his old cloak of numbness, only to find it didn’t fit anymore. His wife had filled it with holes. He turned to go and check on the traffic and he let all of his defenses drop, as he went. With each step he welcomed and accepted every shard of well-deserved pain.
