Page 88 of Wrecked
The scream I release isn’t human. It’s filled with eight years of rage, and pain, and unwelcomeunderstanding.
I hate that I understand the position he was put in. I hate that I know what it feels like to love so deeply that you would do anything to protect that person. I hate that I may have done the same thing if I were in that situation.
He did this toKatie, though.
“You used my sister.” My voice is calm, a total contradiction to the growl I released moments ago. “You used my sister, youstoleher heart, and theonlyendgame you had planned was to break it.”
Nate sighs, lowering his head. When he looks back up, hiseyes glisten with unshed tears. “I never meant for my involvement with her to go as far as it did.”
“Far? I think becoming engaged to a woman you have no intention of marrying is a little more than taking things far!” I rage. The composure I just showed cracks right down the middle, mirroring the fissure that’s tearing my heart in two.
On one hand, there is my loyalty to my sister. The anger I feel on her behalf. He toyed with her heart, he used her for his own benefit, and then he planned to spit her out and run off with another woman. Me!Her fucking sister. Even after he found out that I was her sister, he still continued formonths!
On the other hand, I can’t imagine how it would feel to be put in that position. To be threatened with the life of the only family member you love. To be told the only way to save your sister’s life is to ruin someone else’s. Would I have done the same? I don’t know, but I feel like I’d do anything to protect Katie. Or at least I thought I would. But now,I’mthe one hurting her more than anyone else.
If it wasn’t Katie, if it was some other woman, would it affect me like this? The answer to that question is harrowing. No. I would have expected Nate to do what he had to do to protect Emmy. But it doesn’t change the fact that itwasmy sister. That she is caught in the crosshairs of the Westin family bullshit. The same way I am. Both of our hurt, the ache that carves deep into our souls, comes from loving Nate Westin. Comes from giving the man in front of me our hearts.
“I wish I never met you,” I whisper in my anger. His eyes fly to mine, and I don’t miss the hurt I put there. What would normally subdue me, only fuels me. “I wish I never loved you,” I add, hoping to intensify the pain I am causing him.
“You don’t mean that.” His words are laced with pain, his eyes holding a healthy amount of fear. Fear that Idomean it.
“I do, Nate. I wish I never gave you my heart! I wish you never walked into that library! I wish I never fucking knew you!You took Katie’s heart against her will! You planned to break it like it meant nothing to you! Likeshemeans nothing to you! How can you be with my sister every day and not love her, not see the beautiful person she is?How could you not love her!?”
“I DO LOVE HER! I FUCKING LOVE HER!” he booms, chest heaving with his conviction.
Oh God.
That hurts.
Those words hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt in my life. They are the exact words I wanted forher, I just didn’t expect the pain they would causeme.
Without thinking, I run out of our temporary shelter. I hear Nate calling after me, but I keep running. I run in a direction we’ve never explored before. I don’t know where I’m going, I just know I can’t be there…with him.
My feet slap against the muddy forest floor, slipping and sliding in my attempt to escape. It doesn’t stop me, though. I keep going, even as the rain picks up. The wind is penetrating, nearly forcing me in the direction it’s blowing. My hair slaps in front of my face, and I can no longer see what’s in front of me. My foot catches on a root protruding from the ground. I fall to the forest floor, landing on my hands and knees. My wrists sting from the impact, but my heart is in far too much pain to notice. I move myself into a sitting position and cry. I cry so hard my shoulders shake from the force of it. I bring my filthy hands to my face and cry into them, painting my cheeks with mud.
He loves her. How can he love her when he’s supposed to love me? Does he love her more? No. No, he can’t. He wouldn’t have done all of this if he loved her the way he loves me.
I sit on the dirty ground for so long I don’t even realize the strength of the wind around me. My body starts to slide across the terrain with no movement of my own. I push my hair away from my face and try to open my eyes. The gusts are too strong,forcing me to squint so that I can see my surroundings. Debris attacks me from all directions, pelting my body with mud and dust. I grab the side of the tree beside me to help me stand up, and I’m nearly swept off my feet.
I don’t recognize a single landmark around me. I’m not even sure what direction I came from. I walk toward the path I think will take me back to the overhang. This was a stupid thing for me to do. I have no idea if I am going the right way, and I can’t see more than a foot in front of me.
A few seconds later, I hear the loud crashing of waves. I must be near our original shelter. I move toward the sound of the ocean, fighting the wind and trees that are persistently slapping at my face.
Suddenly, the path I am walking on disappears beneath my feet. I am plummeting rapidly, but I can’t see anything beneath me. I frantically reach for something to grab onto and feel immense relief when my hands connect with a wet branch. I use all my strength to pull myself onto it and then focus on my surroundings.
I wish I hadn’t done that.
The branch I’m sitting on is projecting out from the mossy ocean cliffside.
I fell off a cliff!
My heart rate triples when I look below me. Dangerous waves crash into the rocky headland, causing the foamy water to smash forward and pull back again.
If I fall… I’m dead.
I only landed a few feet from the top, but there are no foot holes to grab onto and climb back up. The gusts of wind are more powerful along the coast, forcing me to wrap my body around the branch so that I’m not pushed from it.
This is a hurricane.
