Page 81 of Wrecked
Ash:Fuck. Did you even get to see her?
Nate:No. And it’s looking like I never will.
Ash:Bullshit. We’re going to fix it, Nate. Give me a little bit of time to do some digging. We. Will. Fix. This. Ellie is your family. Which means she ismyfamily. I’m not going to let this happen to her.
Asher is an IT genius. He wanted to hack into Chris’ work account last year, but I hated the thought of getting him into trouble. Now…I’m not going to stop him. I can’t live my life without Ellie. She’s been the only thing keeping me going. Letting her go forever? Not possible.
Nate:Ok man. Let’s fix this shit. If anything happens,Itake the fall. See you soon.
I turn off my phone and go find Emmy. We have a long drive to Asher’s, and I want to get on the road and out of this city as soon as possible.
CHAPTER 36
ELLIE (PRESENT)
Times up.
Nate has been playing island hero for days, making sure I’m safe and protected. I love him for that, but it doesn’t mean he’s entitled to my heart, or my love.Or to my goddamn forgiveness.It doesn’t mean we kiss and make up, and he doesn’t have to explain the heartache that he’s caused.The path he put me on.
The shame.
The disgust.
The loss of control.
I don’t care that we are stranded in the jungle. I don’t care that we arebarelysurviving. I don’t care that we might never make it home. Hell, we could be swirling around in a tornado and the end result would be the same.
Time. Is. Up.
Just because I still love this man doesn’t mean I have to forgive him. Just because he still has a place in my heart doesn’t mean he deserves a place in mylife. I already know I will love Nate Westin until the day I die. But that doesn’t mean he’ll be at my side when that time comes.
That will be up to him.
I’m through waiting. He needs to make me understand. I deserve the whole truth. Starting with why there was anakedwomanin his bed. The same bed that heheld mein. The same bed that he took myinnocencein. Whatever the reason. Whatever the cause. He needs to make me understand whythatwas the answer. Why breaking me to pieces was the right thing to do. Why shredding my heart until it was nothing but dust was his grand plan.
Ihold the cards now. He loves me? He wants me? He needs to fuckingearnme.
“I don’t want it to hurt anymore. I don’t want to be mad at you anymore. Make it stop, Nate.”
“Ellie. I promise I’m going to tell you everything, but…”
“NO. No ‘buts’ Nate. This is it.” I raise my hands in the air, then let them fall to my side. “This is your chance. Prove to me youdeserveit. Prove to me my sister’s pain isworth it. Because when I look at you? I remember the painyoucausedme. It’s fresh, and it’s agonizing, and I hate you for it, Nate. Ihateyoufor it!” My voice rises with my emotions, but it stays strong. I won’t let him see me break. “So, convince me why I should put mysisterthrough that same pain. Why I should curse her with the pain of losing you! A pain I know better than anyone!” Saying it out loud hurts, because that’s where this will lead…to Katie knowing the loss of Nate. A loss so brutal, I hardly survived it. I lost Nate to nobody, but she’d lose Nate to me. Her best friend, her fucking sister. I can’t put her through that if I’m not convinced that we are forever. “YouknowI still love you. YouknowI still want you. But I’ve spent the last eight years without you, Nate. I can spend thenexteight without you too! I won’t lie to you and say it would be easy. I won’t lie and say I’d be able to move on. I’d survive, though. Knowing you were still out there, at least? Living? Breathing? I’d survive. But myfeelingsfor you don’t give you free access to me. So, start explaining…or keep your hands to yourself! Keep your pretty words and promises to yourself! Because I’ve heard them all before! ‘I’ll keep you safe, Ellie. I’ll protect you, Ellie.’ Tell me why I should believe them this time!? Tell me!”
“Because Iwaskeeping you safe!” he roars, his chest heaving as his eyes water. His anger is laced with so much pain it nearly breaks me. I won’t let it, though.Ideserve this anger.Ideserve these answers.
“Explain,” I demand.
He looks down and takes a shuddering breath. When his eyes meet mine, there is a resolve there I haven’t seen before now. He’s ready to talk.
“Two months before the end of my senior year, my father came to talk to me.” He blows out a breath and shakes his head. Mentioning Nathaniel can cause anyone to have a visceral reaction. I had a feeling he had something to do with this. Nate hated him, so I never truly believed he’d go to a school he didn’t want to, only to lock himself into the future that asshole wanted for him. “Somehow, he found out about us. We weren’t exactly hiding our relationship, but I assumed he didn’t care to figure out who I spent my time with. That as long as I was doing what he wanted, it wouldn’t matter.”
“He didn’t expect you to be dating trash,” I bite out. The amount of hate I feel for a man I’ve never met is insane.
“You’re not trash! Don’t fucking talk about yourself like that, Pip. You are the most important person to me. You always have been.”
“Then why did you let him control you? What did he have on you?” He had to have been holding something over Nate’s head. That’s the only way this makes sense.
“It wasn’t me, Pip. It was…shit.” He takes a deep breath and rubs his face with his hands. He’s stalling because he knows what comes next is going to hurt me. “It was your dad, Ellie. He was stealing money from his company, embezzling. I…I don’t knowif your mom knew about it, but she made him replace your college funds, so I think she might have. I guess her family left you and Katie some money, and Chris had taken it.” Nate looks me in my eyes, and I see how worried he is to tell me the rest. “Fuck. Fuck, Ellie! I don’t know how to say this.”
