Page 66 of Wrecked
I decorated myhomewith memories so powerful that she’ll never be able to escape them. I needed the extra time with her to do that. At least that’s what I am telling myself.
The truth is…our love is endless. It was going to hurt just as badly two months ago as it will right now.
Nathaniel told me to leave her by the end of the year, so I didn’t waste a single second. I needed those two extra months to hold her; to hear her sweet voice telling me she loves me.
I needed something to hold on to while we are apart. Not because I think I’d ever be able to move on, but because I won’t have Ellie to fight the demons in my mind. The ones that whisper their words of surrender. She’s been my rock, grounding me to this world, helping me fight the urge to give up. Those contagious thoughts that once contaminated mybrain haven’t come back since the night Ellie found me in my bathroom. She cured the disease that once brought me to my knees. Her love is my medicine, and I don’t know that I’ll survive without it.
But Nathaniel gave me a deadline, and that deadline has arrived.
Now, we are here, at the end of the year. I have no idea how I am going to leave her behind. The thought of hurting her, of making her cry, tears apart the very fabric of my soul. My heart bleeds at the thought of being responsible for her pain. Watching her beautiful face crumple when I tell her it’s over.
She won’t believe me.
She’ll know this is Nathaniel’s doing, and she won’t let me let her go. If that happens, she’ll end up in the care of Chris Hansel. I’d hurt her a thousand times over to prevent that fate. I’d give my life to ensure that it doesn’t. Isn’t that what I’m doing? Giving my life?
I had a plan. No connections. No emotions. Get through senior year and get the hell out of here.
Escape.
Yet here I am. Handing over my life to Nathaniel Westin for the girl I love more than anything in this world. Without her, I don’t even know how to exist anymore. Somehow, over these last nine months, she has embedded herself so firmly in my life that I can’t even breathe without her. She’s become the air in my lungs, the beat of my heart. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect her.
That includes leaving her.
But I intend to get her back.
Unfortunately, the intensity of our feelings is also the reason she will see the truth behind what I’m doing, making her just as likely to sacrifice herselffor me.
I can’t let that happen.
I can’t just leave her. I have to hurt her in a way we can’tcome back from. Not until she learns the truth. There is only one way I can think to do that, and the thought makes my stomach clench.
Tonight is prom night. Ellie hasn’t been to a school dance yet, and she’s so excited to show the rest of the school that I’m hers and she’s mine. There are rumors, of course, but we’ve never confirmed it. Not while I’ve been under Nathaniel’s thumb.
That was supposed to change tonight.
It would have.
Ellie will be here at six tonight, dressed in the beautiful satin red dress she fell in love with. It was out of her price range, so I bought it for her because she deserves to have everything she’s ever wanted. We were going to go for a romantic dinner and then head to the school. I had a nice hotel room booked for the night.
It was supposed to be perfect.
I get up from my desk chair and walk over to where my phone is plugged into the wall. Taking a deep breath, I scroll through my contacts, looking for a name I haven’t called in over a year. Not since the last time I fucked her.
Chelsea Smith.
I open our text box, feeling nauseous over what I’m about to type. I put on the mask, the one I wear for everyone but Ellie.
It’s easier this way.
Nate:Hey baby…
She replies almost immediately. Just like I knew she would.
Chelsea:If it isn’t Nathan Westin. Getting tired of playing with your little sophomore?
Nate: Yeah. Skip prom. Come over around five forty-five. Don’t be late.
Chelsea:What will we be doing, Mr. Westin?
