Page 125 of Wrecked
Iwake up, still cuddled in Nate’s arms. His body feels cold, and his breaths are shallow.
He’s going to leave me.
He promised me he’d never hurt me again, he swore he would never leave me. He lied, and he’s breaking my heart in half. I feel the telltale sign of a panic attack coming on. I want to let it claim me so that I can leave this world beside the man I love.
I’m not okay.It’snot okay. None of this is fair. He doesn’t deserve this ending. I do my steps and stave off the attack. Nate needs me to be present. Nate just…needs me. It’s my turn to be there for him. To fight for him, protect him, and put him first.
I reach for his wrist, searching for his pulse. Slow, thready. Still there.
“Nate,” I whisper against his ear. He doesn’t respond. “Nate,” I say a little louder.
“Mm.” His soft response gives me life. He’s still hanging on. He won’t leave me. Not if he can help it.
“I’m going to save you, baby. I’m going to find something to save you.”
I quietly get up from bed, tucking him back under the covers. I grab my sneakers, slide them on my feet, and walk back to our bed. I bend down and give him a kiss on the cheek. He stirs slightly, a small smile on his lips. There he is. There’s my baby, hanging on just for me.
“I’ll be back soon. I’m going to find something to help you.” He doesn’t answer, but I don’t expect him to.
I leave the safety of our shelter with more determination than I’ve ever had. He just needs to stay a little longer. I walk down to the beach and hike toward the other end of the jungle. A stretch we have yet to explore. I work my way through the dense jungle, struggling against the chaotic foliage. I make sure to mark my route so that I can find my way back to the beach. I won’t leave Nate for more than a couple hours, so I need to be quick. He’s fading away, and I don’t want him to be worried about me.
The deeper I hike, the thicker the bush. My senses are on alert, noting all the sounds and smells around me. These concentrated areas tend to have larger predators, so I’m hyperaware of my surroundings. Every instinct I have is screaming at me to go back to Nate, but I won’t go back empty-handed.
The early morning sun is hotter than normal, causing me to sweat heavily as I fight the congested woodland. The foliage is different here. This part of the jungle is much more shaded than where we travel, allowing for different vegetation.
I hear a twig snap behind me and stop moving. A chill shoots down my spine and I turn around to see a black panther blending into the backdrop of the jungle. He doesn’t see me as he prowls along the bush, likely stalking prey. I move quietly out of his territory, only to be in the direct line of sight of another apex predator.
A jaguar.
Rage like I’ve never felt before consumes me. I lift my spear high in the air and scream at the top of my lungs, runningtoward it with intention. I’ve lost my mind to my grief. The only thing guiding me now is emotion. The animal runs off before I can even reach her. I bend over, panting excessively, trying to catch my breath.
My eyes land on the shrub in front of me.
I laugh. I laugh until I start to cry.
Baccharis. Holy shit. I found it.
I pluck several branches from the shrub and take off running. Back toward the beach, back toward my home…back toward Nate.
The thick brush makes it hard to keep a fast pace, but it doesn’t stop me. I trip over roots and scratch along branches, but I don’t feel a thing.
The only thing I feel is hope.
I breach the entrance of the jungle and shove through, my feet slapping against the hot sand and spraying it behind me. I run toward the other end of the beach, toward the other end of the jungle.
I reach our bonfire and stop short.
My heart is racing.
My limbs are shaking.
I blink once…twice…am I seeing things?
The loud horn of a ship blares as it approaches the shoreline. I stand there, frozen in time, not quite believing my eyes.
A man climbs off the ship and approaches me.
A man.
