Page 110 of Wrecked
My mom had reached out several times since I’d left home. I know she is desperate to fix our relationship. She left a long voicemail once, filled with apologies I never asked for. Apologies I’ll never accept.
I never called her back.
Too little, too late.
Her prolongedseparationfrom my father says all I need to know. The only reason I’m here is because my sister is coming home with her fiancé. They’ve been together for a year and a half, yet none of us have met him. That stings more than I am willing to admit.
Katie and I have always been best friends, balancing each other perfectly. I was always the grounded one. Katie was always the dreamer, fantasizing about escaping our family home, the two of us starting a life of our own. She had her head in the clouds, and I was rooted here on planet earth. Growing up, she was protective of me, shielding me from the hell she was living. Sheltering me from Chris’s toxicity, from my mother’sneglect. I think that’s why she dreamed so big. Because she was dreaming away the nightmare.
She was dreaming for the both of us.
Then she went to that special school, and things were never the same. Something changed when she turned eighteen. It felt as though something sinister happened her senior year of high school, darkening those dreams she once had. She became a shadow of her former self, her bright eyes dimmed, her wide smile diminished. When she left for college, she left a new person. She dyed her hair blonde, she wore baggy clothes, almost as if she were trying to extinguish the girl she once was.
Life had finally broken her.
After she met her mysterious fiancé, her personality transformed into that of your typical it-girl. I didn’t like who she was becoming, but at least she was smiling again.
But getting engaged? After just a little over a year? This seems extreme even for the “new” Katie. I can’t help but think she is running from her old life, from the events that shaped her, from the person she used to be. I know her well enough to know that she’s wearing a mask.
Just like Nate.
When she called me to tell me about her engagement, she was so overcome with joy, it practically radiated through the phone. I couldn’t help but feel a surge of frustration. It almost felt like a betrayal. I lost her. I lost her years ago, and some random man just strolled right on in, taking my spot as her person.
It makes me want to hate him before I even meet him.
The floor creaks behind me, and I whip my head around, the tension of this town putting me on edge. My mother stands there, her eyes glassy as she looks me up and down. We continue to stare at each other for several seconds, unmoving, no words.
She looks…good. She looks healthy. She’s put on some weight, as if her diet consists of more than just red wine now. When our eyes meet again, hers sparkle with warmth and love.
She hasn’t looked at me like that since I was a child. Part of me wants to run into her arms and forget every bad memory. The other part of me wants to walk back out the door, giving her my back just to hurt her. The pull to stay is stronger, so I step forward, cautiously. The air is thick with unspoken words and silent regrets.
“Ellie,” my mother finally breathes, so much emotion clogging her voice. We both step forward, meeting within an arm’s length of each other. “I’ve missed you so much, baby girl. So, so much.”
She’s sober.
She moves even closer and wraps her arms around me. Her scent is familiar, but different. Gone is the strong odor of alcohol that would cling to her body like perfume. She smells like mymama. The one who held me when I had nightmares. The one who sang me lullabies before bed.
Her hug is hesitant at first, but as soon as I return it, she tightens her grip. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, her voice trembling. “I’m so, so sorry.”
I want to tell her it’s okay, but I can’t. I want to forgive her, but I won’t. We aren’t there, and we may never get there.
“Where’s Katie?” I ask, clearing my throat, my voice thick with emotion.
“Please…” Mom replies, her voice cracking a little.
“Not now. Not today. Today is Katie’s day.”
She nods her head, respecting my request. “She should be arriving here shortly.”
Just then, the front door opens and slams closed, aggressively. Mom’s eyebrows shoot up her forehead, alarmed at the abrupt entry.
“Heard my stepdaughter is bringing home a fancy ass fiancé. Figured I’d come by and meet him. Seems she owes me forsending her away to all those rich, uppity schools,” a voice I never wanted to hear again utters behind me.
“Chris. What the hell are you doing here? You aren’t supposed to come to this house. Ever. That was part of the deal!”
Deal? What deal?
“You don’t get to exclude me from this little family reunion, Diane.” He moves his gaze to me, finally noticing that I’m here. “Hi, Ellie, how’s my little girl?” He smirks, like he knows how uncomfortable he makes me.
