Page 10 of Wrecked
“Yeah, yeah.” She hangs up the phone, and I stare down as her name disappears. I don’t know why, but hanging up always feels like it will be the last time I talk to her.
She’s been through so much in her short life. I think I’malways going to feel like our relationship has a time limit, no matter how well she is doing. Today feels especially foreboding though. I need to make more time for her when I get back from Brazil.
I just hope I’ll be spending a lot of it with someone else too.
CHAPTER 5
ELLIE (SOPHOMORE YEAR, HIGH SCHOOL)
Butterflies dance in my stomach as I walk toward the front entrance of my high school. The sun is shining brightly, the sky is a radiant blue, and there isn’t a cloud in sight. It’s the perfect day to be outside. Yet, unlike most kids my age, I’m walking toward the same red brick building I spend my weekdays trapped inside.
With a stomach full of swarming insects, apparently.
This is my third Saturday tutoring Nate, but I can’t seem to contain my nerves. It’s not even because ofwhohe is. To be honest, I didn’t even know he was the captain of the football team until last week…or that his father was some big-time prestigious lawyer.
It’s because of how he makes me feel.
Seen.
I can’t describe it, but being around him feels like standing in front of a mirror. It’s as if he understands me without having to say a word. As though he knows what happens behind closed doors and can relate to the nightmare I go home to everyday.
Maybe he can?
When I’m with Nate, the heavy fog clouding my thoughtsdissipates. I can feel the relentless weight on my chest lift with just a smile. It’s as though there is camaraderie in our disguised pain. Because something tells me it’s a pain that we share.
He just…brightens my day.
I always find myself reminiscing about my early childhood, about lighter days when laughing came easy. These past two weeks have felt like those memories. When I’m tutoring Nate, I’m not battling the shadows that whisper promises of a lonely existence. I’m not consumed by the fears that blanket my mind. I laugh. I smile. The silhouette darkening my vision is full of vibrant colors painting the world around me. The same vivid colors I could see when I was younger.
Before everything changed.
BeforeIchanged.
Before the world became tinted in black and white, purging those vibrant colors from my sight and plunging me into a twilighted existence. It’s the reason I gave up my Saturdays to tutor. The darkness can’t follow me here. Being safe is no longer synonymous with being at home, and I needed an excuse not to be there. I just didn’t expect to be gaining a friendship out of it.
Friendship.
Because there is no way Nate Westin would ever want more from a sophomore nobody like me. He’s just a fantasy, one Ican’t waitto tell Katie about when she’s home for the holidays.
God, I miss her.
She’s my person, and the only person I’ve ever really had. My mom spends her days with a wine glass permanently attached to her hand, and my dad…my dad is a nightmare. I don’t have a lot of friends at school. And the ones I do have, I can’t bring home. Not with my dad there.
But Nate? Something about him feels different than everyone else. Like he would go to battle with me, rather than run for the hills.
Get it together Ellie. You spend three days with a guy who is nice to you, and you already put him on a pedestal.
I tear myself from my thoughts as I reach the front of the building, taking a deep breath as I walk through the glass doors. Unsurprisingly, the hallway is completely empty, causing my footsteps to echo against the bare walls. I head in the direction of the library, shaking out my sweaty hands as my heart beats erratically.
“Hey, Pip. Wait up,” Nate calls from behind me, causing me to jolt.
I pull myself together and turn around. As soon as our eyes connect, my nerves disappear and everything feels…calm.
“You’re early,” I say with a smirk. “Better be careful or I’ll start thinking that you actually like physics,” I tease, loving the way I can make him laugh. He catches up to me and grabs my elbow, halting my movement.
“No way. Not today, Pip. It’s gorgeous outside. We are taking a little tutoring field trip.”
I raise an eyebrow. “That so? And where exactly are we going?”
