Page 73 of Wrecked
NATE (SENIOR YEAR, HIGH SCHOOL)
Ican physically feel my heart crack in half when I finally make eye contact with Ellie. The look on her face has my head screaming at me to abort the mission. To take her in my arms and kiss away the pain in her eyes. It feels like I’m barreling down the highest point of a rollercoaster and my seat belt just came undone. My stomach plunges, and my chest gets that uncomfortable prickly feeling. I have the overwhelming urge to drop to my knees while clutching my heart, as if that will temper the excruciating pain I am feeling all the way to my bones.
I take a deep breath, and I shove down my feelings the best I can. I’m doing this for Ellie. I need to protect her from Chris. I mask my face, widening my eyes so that I appear shocked to see her. I let her believe that I think she caught me. As if I didn’t remember the love of my life was going to be at my house at six. Dressed in a beautiful red gown that she loves so much. A gown that hasnothingon the beautiful girl wearing it.
God, what I wouldn’t do to be able to kiss her one last time.
She turns around and runs out through my bedroom door. The sound she makes is primal. I get a glimpse of her as sheturns the corner toward the winding staircase. I see the way her face crumples. She is going to break, and she doesn’t want me to see. Her face is the picture of complete devastation. Raw, unfiltered pain haunts those beautiful green eyes that I love so much.
I did that.
I put that look on her face.
I feel like I’m going to throw up. I fight the urge to run after her. This needs to happen. I need her to be hurt. I need her to forget me.
For now.
I am coming back for you, Ellie. I will crawl on my knees in front of you and beg you for forgiveness.
Forgiveness for not finding another way.
For getting involved in her life, only to have to hurt her in the end. But it’snotthe end. This is not the end of us. This is just a bump in the road. I have to believe this, because if I don’t, if I truly thought we were over, then I’ve lost the one thing I have to live for.
“Well, that was entertaining, but how about I find other ways to entertain you now.” Chelsea’s low throaty tone barely cuts through the fog. I can’t move or think. I can hardly keep myself upright.
I just stand there in a catatonic stupor, staring at the door Ellie just ran through. Willing her to come back. Willing her not to believe any of this is real. Willing her to force me to have to come up with another plan.
Ijuststand there.
I stand there as Chelsea untucks the towel from around my waist, letting it drop to the floor.
I stand there as she lowers to her knees, looking up at me through her lashes.
I stand there as her delicate fingers stroke my cock from root to tip.
I stand there as she leans forward, opening her mouth and letting her tongue tease the tip.
I stand there as her warm mouth wraps around my cock and she sucks me into the back of her throat.
I’m not hard.
I’m not even present.
That doesn’t stop her from moaning against my flaccid dick, the vibration waking me from my stupor.
I tear my cock out of her mouth and grab my towel, wrapping it around my waist. “Get the fuck off of me,” I seethe. How fuckingdareshe. There is no way she just didn’t see the state I was in. I was hardly even conscious! She thinks she has the right to put her mouth on a part of me that isn’t hers. A part of me that belongs to someone else. I don’t give a flying fuck if I kissed her first. I don’t give two shits about how unfair that is. I called her over here for one reason only. To use her. It’s thesamereason she came here. To useme. So I don’t feel bad that I’m about to toss her out on her ass. I don’t feelanythingexcept the loss of Ellie.
I make a vow to myself, right here, that I willneverlet another woman touch me. I will nevertouchanother woman. Every piece of me belongs to Ellie, and Ellie only.
“Get the fuck out of my house.”
“What the fuck, Nate?” she complains. “Do you even know how many guys would kill to have me suck their dick?!”
“So go suck them off then, we’re done here.” I grab her elbow and lead her to my bedroom door. I shove her clothes in her hands and slam the door shut as soon as I get her over the threshold. I don’t miss Emmy standing at the end of the hallway glaring at me. She loves Ellie like a sister, so I know she hates me right now. I’ll explain it to her later, but right now I need to get lost in my head. I need to not feel anything, to not have to think.
I walk back to my bathroom and grab the bottle of vodkathat I left on the sink when Ellie arrived. I twist the cap off and toss it in the small trashcan in the corner of the bathroom.
I won’t be needing that.
