Page 51 of Wrecked
That might be my fault.
I was touching Ellie the way I’ve needed to for the last eight years, there was nothing that could have stopped me. Not the fact that we are stuck here without food…shelter…water. The only thing that mattered in that moment was my lips on hers. My hands on her body. The quiet whimper I produced with my mouth between her legs.
She told me she loves me.
I could die today and say my life was well lived. My girl…my everything, she still loves me. Fuck, if that doesn’t do something to my heart. Here we are, trapped in the worst possible situation, and I couldn’t feel lighter, more filled with happiness.
Ellie trips into my back as her foot snags on a tree root extending from the soil at our feet. I turn around to place my hand on her back and help steady her until she regains her bearings. I grab ahold of her hand again and keep her body close to mine as I scan for signs of dangerous wildlife.
We get to some smooth terrain, scuffed and eroded from heavy foot traffic…or I guess paw traffic. I feel like I’m finally walking on solid ground, that’s all that matters. My calves are onfire, even with my rigorous leg days, so I know Ellie has to be hurting.
“Try to stay closer to the middle of the path, Pip. I’m not sure exactly where we crashed, but anywhere in South America will have a lot of dangerous animals and insects. I don’t want you brushing up against a poisonous spider.”
“That’d be the best way,” she mutters distractedly. She sounds like she’s lost in thought, probably wondering how I’m going to get us out of this.
Me too, baby.
“The best way for what?” I ask, trying to bring her back to the present. Being unfocused out here can be lethal.
“Hm? Oh. The spider. That’s the way I want to go out,” she states, as if it’s the most normal thing to say.
“You’re not ‘going out,’ Ellie. You are going to get out of here. I promise.”
“If you’re making me a promise, then saywe.”
“What?”
“You said ‘you are going to get out of here.’Weare. I’m not going anywhere without you.”
I stop walking and turn to face her. Sweat trails down the sides of her flushed face, her hair is a frizzy mess, and she has sand decorating the crown of her head.
She’s never looked more beautiful.
“I need you to understand something. You come first.Always. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket? It’d be yours. If we were starving and a bird fell right out of the damned sky? It’d be yours. If nothing stood between you and danger? I would fill that spot and walk toward that danger with a smile on my face. I will do everything in my power to never leave you, but if there is ever a choice that has to be made? I’ll choose you. Every. Single. Time.”
“And I’d choose you, Nate. So, I guess we better hope none ofthose things happen.” Her expression is firm, brokering no argument.
“Yeah, it would be really fucking unfortunate to be on a sinking ship after all this.” I hide the joke in my serious tone. Ellie stares at me for several seconds before she snorts out her laughter.
“Okay, Gilligan…so tell me. How are we going to survive this?”
“Well, MaryAnn?—”
“Ginger.” She scrunches her nose. “I was a MaryAnn back in high school. I want to be a Ginger now.”
I look at her body, my eyes slowly trailing her from head to toe. “Definitely Ginger.” I wink. “We need water, baby, even if we don’t have any way to boil it yet. I’m looking for a fast-moving stream. Preferably an underground spring or a waterfall. This path here,” I point to the path we are walking on, “has been worn down by animals. So, I’m hoping it leads us to their water source.”
“Do we really want to share a water source with animals big enough to create this path?” Her eyes widen comically, but I can see her genuine fear.
“Unfortunately, they are going to be where the resources are. Actually, theyarethe resources.”
She gasps, hand flying to her chest. “Are we going to have to eat little baby animals?” She’s genuinely shocked at the possibility.
“Well, I don’t think Uber Eats delivers out here, Pip.” She glares at me and treks ahead a little bit. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll try to avoid the little babies,” I call out and dodge the rock she kicks my way. I see her shoulders shake, so I know she’s laughing at her own ridiculousness. She slows her pace as if just now realizing she took the lead by accident. I can see the brave face she’s putting on, but beneath it, I know she’s terrified.
It’s okay…she can be afraid. She doesn’t need to be fearless, not when she has me. She can fall apart in my arms every night, and I will give her the words that make her feel safe and secure. I will fill her cup with courage every day until all she feels is brave. Because she is. She’s been through so much in her life, and she came out on top. She has a great job. She’s smart as hell. She still has that sweet, caring heart that just makes you in awe of her. She has all of that despite not having any help.
No one to lean on.
