Page 26 of Wrecked
“Because I was always going to, Pip. Katie and I were never meant to get here. I don’twantto hurt her. I care about her…so much. I made a selfish decision a long time ago. One I had no choice but to make. But Katie never deserved to be a casualty of that choice. If there was an alternative, if I could do it over…” He lets out a frustrated sigh. “It wasalwaysyou,” he says in a low voice. “It will always be you, onlyyou. Just like I swore eight years ago.”
I inhale deeply at his admission. “No,” I plead, not wanting tohear anymore. I need him to take it back, but I need him to say it again just as badly.
“Pip…”
“NO,” I say again, raising my voice as my anxiety starts to overwhelm me. He drops his head into his hands, rubbing his face with an audible sigh. He gets up, walking around the coffee table to sit on the cushion next to me. He reaches up, his fingers finding that stray hair that always ends up in front of my eyes, and tucks it behind my ear. His fingers linger before lightly traveling down my neck, giving me goosebumps.
I take a stuttering breath as I try to get a hold of my emotions. He’s watching me, searching my face for anything I am willing to give away. I shut him out the best I can. I can’t let him see how his words affect me, how I crave hearing him say these things.
Things that will hurt my sister, mybest friend.
“Why are we getting her dress, Nate?” I demand. I need for this all to make sense.
“Because there are things I need you to understand?—”
“Tell me now,” I interrupt. “We don’t need to go all the way to Brazil for you to tell me!” My voice starts to rise again as my emotions escalate.
He scoots closer to me, his arms hanging loosely in front of him, stopping himself from touching me. “When Katie first asked me to take this trip with you, I thought it was the only way I could get you to hear me out. But now I know. Iknowyou are going to run from this. I see it in your eyes anytime you start to let yourself feel the tug of that invisible thread pulling you to me. You’re fighting it. I want to take this trip because I need you to hear me out. I need you to remember without the distraction of Katie. I just need you to...remember.”
“Remember what?” I whisper softly. My eyes burn, and my heart is pounding in my chest. He leans forward, lifting his hand to trace my bottom lip with his finger. We are impossibly close,a breath away from each other. He tilts his head, shifting to the side and bringing our bodies closer together. I feel his breath tickle my jawline. I should stop this. I need to stop this.
The finger tracing my bottom lip stops. He applies pressure as he pulls down, baring my bottom teeth. I can’t help the whimper that escapes my mouth. His eyes flash to mine, his gaze hot with so much desire it nearly melts me. He leans in closer, watching my eyes, silently asking for permission. I don’t stop him. I don’t look away. His mouth brushes lightly against mine as his body moves into me. He slowly turns his head back and forth, tracing my lips with his own.
“Us,” he whispers against my lips. Opening his mouth, he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, demanding I respond. I lean into him and move my mouth against his, opening in return. As soon as our kiss begins, the whistling of the tea kettle has me jumping off the couch.
Jesus Christ.
I almost kissed my sister’s fiancé. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Ididkiss my sister’s fiancé. In her home, as she fucking sleeps down the hall. I’m not even sure I would have stopped the kiss from progressing. What the actualfuckis wrong with me?! She bared her heart and soul to me hours ago. How could I do this?
How could I not?
If that kiss told me anything, it’s that my feelings for him, my connection to him, it’s undeniable. We share a bond that survived eight years apart, and all the pain in between. The moment his lips touched mine, everything felt right again. The world fell back into place. The emptiness gnawing at my core subsided for the first time in eight years. He’s my person. He will always be my person. Whether I choose to recognize it or not. Whether I get on that plane tomorrow or run away from this.
I fight my tears as I prepare my tea, almost ready to abandon the task and run to my room. Anything to avoid theconsequences of what just happened. I hear Nate walk into the kitchen.
Running feels like the safest option right now.
Before I get a chance, Nate comes up behind me and cages me against the counter with his arms, pinning me with his hips.
“Don’t do this, Pip,” he begs, the pain in his voice causing my own emotions to swell.
It feels so good to be in his arms, to feel like I could be his again.
I can’t…being his means losing my sister.
I push against him, trying to free myself from his arms. He spins me around so that my back is against the counter. “We are getting on that plane tomorrow, and you’re going to hear me out. We are going to spend a week in Brazil, and you’re going to remember how good it feels to be us. We are going to work out our shit, just the two of us, and then we are going to come back here and tell Katie the truth. That’s what’s going to happen, Pip,” Nate demands, his eyes filled with fire. “Unless you don’t feel this too. Tell me you don’t feel it. If you can honestly do that, then I’ll end things with Katie in the morning and leave both of you alone. But you need to look me in the eyes and tell me that there is nothing left, that I fucked it all up and you haven’t felt the same deep, agonizing ache that I have since we’ve been apart. Tell me that your heart doesn’t feel hollow and that your soul doesn’t feel vacant…like half of it is missing. If you can tell me that, then do it. Tell me, now,” he commands. His words are filled with confidence, but I can see a glimmer of fear in his eyes. Part of him is afraid I’ll be able to say those words.
I can’t.
He has to know I can’t say those words. I look up at him and shake my head, silently voicing my admission. The second he gets confirmation, he lifts me onto the counter, spreading my legs with his knees. He stands directly between them, reaching below my waist, and grabbing hold of my hips. He pulls meforward until our bodies touch. My center lines up with his hard cock, the sensation making me moan low in my throat. I wrap my legs around his hips, and he thrusts against me in response. He feels so fucking good. I can feel myself getting wet, my arousal seeping through the thin silk of my pajamas. He palms my face, bringing our lips only inches apart for the second time tonight.
“Tell me yes,” he demands, the desperation in his voice incinerating my resolve.
Before I have a chance to respond, a light flicks on down the hallway and the bathroom door closes.
Nate drops his head onto my shoulder, letting out a deep breath of disappointment. His hips continue to slowly grind against me, as if completely out of his control. I can’t help but meet his thrusts, even with my sister awake down the hall. I know we need to stop, but I can’t. He kisses my neck, gently at first, but as the tempo of his thrusts increase, his kisses turn to sucking. My flesh is caught between his teeth as he runs his tongue over my sensitive skin.
This is wrong.
