Page 61 of A Court of Ash and Midnight
I have to find a way to beat him. Ihave to.
I go into my tent and lie down, but my brain is racing far too fast for sleep to find me. Plus, I can hear revelers coming back from the champion’s dinner, and hear the guards outside by the fire. The light of the flames glows faintly through the sides of the tent, and shadows come and go across them, only serving to keep me wide awake.
I’ve got to figure out how to use my magic. It’s the only way I can possibly get out of this. A physical challenge with Toryn is going to end in my death. Probably rather quickly. I sit up in bed. I’d tried to light the candle the other night, but not for very long before giving up. Now, perhaps, I have a bit more motivation and a ticking clock. Two days. I have two days to figure this out.
Holding the candle in my hand, I imagine flames igniting the wick. I imagine heat, the sear of it against my skin, all my days blacksmithing next to the glowing coals. I know fire like I know my own heartbeat. It’s a part of me, a part of my soul. In the presence of flames is the only time when my body feels normal, and isn’t in pain. When the glow of fire warms my skin, my muscles, my bones.
But nothing happens.
I try to think back to the night in the healing ward, with the inferno blazing all around me and Daemon. I’d felt this connection to the fire, this wild abandon. Like Iknewthe fire, and it knew me. Like we were one and the same. Andthen, during the first tournament challenge, I’d felt that same confidence that the fire wouldn’t hurt me. That fire could never hurt me.
When I envision the candle bursting into flame, however, what I see behind my eyes is the fire from that first night. That night eight years ago. The night I killed my family.
Dark goddess, I can’t do this. Which means I’m going to die.
A shudder moves through me, and I cover my face with my hands. This strange magic lives within me, a blessing and a curse. So much power, but I can’t let it out without losing control. Without hurting people. And maybe that’s my fate. To be unable to defend myself, even though I could. Because of what I did that night.
I don’t realize I’ve been crying until I straighten and suck in a steadying breath. I wipe my tears away and look around.
The guards must have put out the fire, because it’s suddenly very dark inside the tent, no glow of flames. But why would they have done that? Why not let it burn out by itself? It’s more than that, though. There’s not an ounce of light inside the tent. I can barely see my own hand in front of my face.
And then, abruptly, Daemon materializes in front of me.
I’m so startled that a small cry rises from my lips and I jump up off the bed. I expect the guards to come running in, but there’s no noise from outside. No one comes to check on me. I’m alone in my tent with the man who just two hours before told me we were enemies and warned me not to wander by myself.
“What are you doing here?” It comes out half gasp, half growl. “Have you come to make good on your threat from earlier?”
Daemon’s brow furrows in confusion and anger, and he turns around, running his hands through his hair in agitation. When he faces me again, there’s a storm of emotions running over his face. “You think I’m here to… to hurt you?” His words are laced with heat.
“You certainly made it seem like that at the dinner.” I dart my eyes over to where I left my daggers a couple feet away, trying to estimate whether I can reach them in time.
Daemon crosses his arms over his chest, his gaze pinning me in place. “Embyr…are you mad? Or are you just blind?”
His response is not at all what I was expecting, and I’m so taken off guard that I don’t know what to say for a moment. “Answer my question, Daemon. Why are you here?”
“I’m here because I heard Toryn challenged you.” He throws his hands up. “Like I was there in the first challenge and hid you with my shadow magic. Like I was there when you were attacked—twice—at Shadow’s Keep. Like I was there at the Queen’s ball when you had too much fae wine. Like I was there when you were nearly killed outside of Kyrn all those months ago.”
He’s staring at me, chest heaving like he’s mad. But the expression on his face is conflicted, his jaw pulsing but his eyes saying something else entirely.
“I don’t understand… you… you said we were enemies.” I shake my head, thoughts spinning even faster than they were before he got here. “And other than that, you’ve barely spoken a word to me since we arrived here.”
A growl. “Because of my family, Embyr! Theyhatehumans. They want to wipe them off the face of Aureon. Not to mention trying to steal the throne from the Queen years ago. They areawfulpeople. If they knew that I… that we had any connection whatsoever…”
I can feel my own wave of anger and frustration boiling to the surface. “But back at Shadow’s Keep, you told me countless times to stay away from you. You’ve been hot and cold since day one. One moment acting like you hate me, and the next saving my life.” My jaw grinds, and I dig my fingernails into my palms. “I don’t understand you.”
Daemon closes the distance between us with two big strides. I suck in a breath as he stares down at me, his chest brushing against mine. Slowly, he reaches up and slides one hand along my cheek and up into my hair. “Like I said, Embyr, if you don’t understand me, you’re blind.”
He leans his forehead against mine and lets out a deep, trembling sigh, his hand in my hair tightening. I reach out and place a hand over his heart, feeling it race beneath my fingers. My own heart is doing funny things in my chest, beating light and fast like a moth circling a flame. “I’m not used to anyone looking out for me,” I murmur. “Ever.”
Daemon straightens and moves his hand down to his side, running his finger along the edge of my jaw as he does. “I was always there. You just didn’t know it.”
I shiver, and he twines his fingers through mine. I feel dazed, like I’m waking from a deep dream. I remember that first moment I saw him, the connection that sparked between us. Like I’d known him for a very, very long time.
“I’m not going to let Toryn kill me,” I say softly. “I’m going to figure out how to use my magic.”
Daemon’s expression shifts, brow furrowing. “Have you been practicing?”
A frown pulls at my lips. “Trying to. I can’t seem to summon fire.”
