Page 91 of Scrooged for the Holidays
Kai’s face falls, and I know he doesn’t have an answer to any of Sam’s questions. I don’t have the answers, either. I’ve been living in the present, and like Sam said, I haven’t been seeing the whole picture. But I do know one thing: After today, I can’t just walk away from Greer.
I stand from the bed and clasp my lovers’ shoulders. “These are heavy conversations, ones none of us have the answers to.”
“Maybe not,” Kai says, looking between us. “But I can’t stop wanting Greer; it feels wrong. Like walking away would mean the end of something I don’t yet understand the full importance of.”
He grips his stomach, and I feel my own turn with need as I speak. “But I do think that she has to at least be given the opportunity to know we’re interested. Beyond just the sex, but in her as a person. I know that’s why she ran out today. She believes she doesn’t deserve more than just one-night stands and shallow relationships. I can say that with certainty, even if she didn’t say it out loud.”
“I agree,” Kai adds. “And she needs to know what we are and what this place is.”
“Whatever you say or do, she’ll forget it all when she leaves,” Sam warns. “And when that happens, you’ll both be hurt. We’ll long for her, and what then? Pursuing anything with her is a bad idea.”
Kai and I once again don’t miss how he included himself in that statement.We’ll long for her…
“Is that why you’re keeping your distance?” Kai asks.
“Part of it. And because of what I said before. Her future does not include us, and even if it did, there are so many unanswered questions.”
Kai’s anger dissipates, and he takes Sam’s hand and brings it upward, gently brushing his lips over his knuckles. “Don’t let your fear get in the way of what could be. You know better than us that futures can change, and since you can’t see ours, there’s hope, Sam.”
“Malachi.” He sighs, the tendrils of his aura turning from red to black, wrapping around Kai’s ankles, gripping him tight like he might leave. But I know Kai would never run from him. Neither would I.
Kai sweeps his lips over Sam’s knuckles once more. “Please, Samael. Live here in the present with us, with Greer. We’ll get the answers. I don’t know how, but we will. I have to believe that, given the way we’re all feeling.”
There’s a long pause of silence. Sam stares at Kai’s hand holding his, and eventually his aura calms, the tendrils releasing Kai’s ankles and fading to the normal black halo that emanates around his being.
“I make no promises.” Sam exhales.
Kai’s mouth lifts at the corner. “But you’ll try?”
“I can’t say I fully agree with it given what I’ve said, but for you, Kai, I will.” He looks to me with sincerity in his dark eyes. “And for you, Remi.”
“And for you,” Kai insists. “It has to be for you, too.”
Sam stares up at the ceiling as if he can see Greer’s bedroom above us before he nods. “Alright. But only because I love you both.”
Kai’s lips curl into a full smile before he kisses Sam’s knuckles again and pulls him toward the bed while gesturing with his chin for me to follow. “Let’s get some rest. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be interesting.”
I have no doubt that he’s right.
Chapter twenty-eight
Greer
Acoupleofpeoplemeander by me, strolling down Elysian Pines’s snow-lined sidewalks and laughing with each other while holiday music plays in the distance. Christmas Eve is here, and the magic of the holiday flutters around me like the falling snowflakes.
I’ve been walking and people watching for some time now, an activity I never do. My normal day is spent in the office or on-site evaluating properties—generally my computer and my phone are my only friends. There’s no music or laughter in my daily life, unless you count the times I’ve caught Avery and Tim chatting in the break room. They always stopped talking when I came around, never offering to let me join in. Not that I expected or wanted them to.
Or did I?
I sip the latte that’s gone cold in my hands. My thoughts have been a tangled mess since waking warm in my bed at the inn. Part of me wanted to leap up and find Remi, demand the truth from him. Was last night real, like he kept insisting until I believed him? And if it was, then my so-called nightmare with Kai was real, too? The questions have been gnawing at me all day, along with whether a final visitor will come to show me my future tonight.
I think of how my slippers were wet again this morning, as if I’d been standing in snow. My hair even faintly smelled of Avery’s family home, spices from their dinner, and a bit of pine that smelled like Remi. I watched my oldest friend get engaged and saw my parents wish that I was there to witness this event in her life and be with them. I don’t understand why considering how I’ve treated them, including ignoring my parents’ calls over the years and pushing Avery away at every turn.
A couple walks by, both with dark hair that remind me of Tim and his wife. I’ve tried to forget the look in his eyes when he told Bobbi he should have done what I asked, that they’ll lose their health insurance. The vision affected me more than I thought it would, which is odd, because several times a week, if not every day, I’ve heard similar things from people. I’ve been called every name under the sun simply because I was doing my job.
I’ve always thought of it like Mr. Cross told me, that it’s part of doing business. Emotions aren’t supposed to be in business. It’s why I read non-fiction books and listen to the podcasts I do. I’ve been trained to see that I wouldn’t be successful or make something of myself in life if I was soft, if I let emotions rule me.
Emotions are a liability. Control is power.
