Page 57 of Exile's Return
Daniel glanced at Agnes. ‘What do I say to him?’
She looked up at him and shook her head. ‘I don’t know that, Daniel.’
They stood looking at each other for a long moment, and it seemed as if Agnes saw him for the first time with startling clarity; the lock of dark brown hair that fell across his forehead, the arch of his eyebrows, the tell-tale white creases at the corners of his eyes, the scar that crossed his right cheekbone, the long nose and the curve of his well-cut lips. Now so familiar and so beloved.
The “pirate” that she and the children had met on that first day in London suddenly seemed a long way removed from this man. The walls Daniel had built up around himself, which had enabled him to survive what surely would have killed a lesser man, had begun to crumble, and at last, she was seeing glimpses of the man Daniel Lovell should have been —could still be.
Alone and friendless, they had found each other, but she knew that whatever passed between the brothers in Bromsgrove would change the fragile balance of her relationship with him. Like a flash of powder in the pan of a musket it had burned brightly and momentarily but now it was gone.
Even as this thought crossed her mind, he drew her into his arms and brought his lips down on hers with bruising intensity.
‘Agnes … ’ His voice sounded ragged.
She pushed him away. ‘Go,’ she said.
A muscle twitched in his cheek, and as if remembering the presence of his hosts, he turned and swung himself into the saddle.
‘I will return by evening,’ he said, leaving thewith or without my brotherunsaid.
***
In the parlour, Kate stacked an extra log on the fire and the flames leapt higher. Agnes drew closer to the warmth, holding out her hands.
‘We haven’t had much opportunity to talk, you and I,’ Kate said.
That was true. Since her arrival at Seven Ways, Agnes had been drawn to Nell’s company. They were, after all, closer in age and shared a love of children and matters domestic. Agnes gained the impression from Nell and her own observation that Kate Thornton wore her responsibilities as a heavy mantle, with little time to spare for her two children or just the simple pleasures of life.
As Kate sat down in one of the chairs beside the fire, it struck Agnes that she had never seen Kate without some item of mending or a list in her hand. Now the woman closed her eyes,leaning her head back, letting her hands rest loosely on the arms of the chair.
‘I am so tired, Agnes,’ Kate said, closing her eyes. ‘I yearn for peace as if it were the sun. It is always we women who pay the price for war,’ she continued. ‘While Jonathan and Daniel and his brother have seen their share of suffering, they had choices. You and I, and Nell, we were not given those choices but we have to live with the consequences.’
Agnes nodded. ‘I think you are right.’
Kate opened her eyes, her gaze resting on Agnes’s face. ‘I can see in your face that there is more to your story than you are willing to share, Agnes. Secrets are dangerous. They can devour you from inside.’
Agnes swallowed. ‘Some secrets can,’ she agreed and changed the subject, ‘Has it been so very hard for you here?’
A bitter smile twisted Kate’s lips and she drew a deep, shuddering breath. ‘These have been very lean years, my dear. The fines on this estate alone…but then I don’t need to tell you how hard they can be. You lost your home.’ Recollecting herself, she said, ‘We are more fortunate than many, such as your family, and I have been blessed by having the man I love by my side. It has made it easier to ride out the hard winters when we wondered how we could feed ourselves, let alone our tenants.’
Agnes studied the woman. Kate could not have been older than her mid-thirties, but she carried the years of hardship in the lines of her face.
‘It will change when the King returns,’ Agnes said.
Kate’s mouth twitched. ‘When the King returns? That is a refrain I have heard before. I see no point in letting my hopes get the better of me. In the meantime, we face another long, cold winter. But enough of our troubles. Kit Lovell’s return will probably change your plans. What will you do?’
Agnes shook her head ‘I will continue to Charvaley,’ she said.
Kate frowned. ‘And what exactly is it you intend to do when you reach Charvaley?’
Agnes shifted uncomfortably under the woman’s clear-eyed gaze.
‘To be honest, Lady Thornton, I don’t know. I have some possessions there which surely give me a right to return. But in truth, I must see the children again. I couldn’t bear it if they were unhappy or ill-treated.’
‘Do you have reason to suppose they would be?’
Agnes thought of Leah Turner’s thin, mean lips and shook her head. ‘I don’t think they will be ill-treated, but they won’t be loved and they are so little…’ She bit her lip to stop the tears.
Kate sighed. ‘I don’t know what advice to offer you, my dear.’
