Page 30 of The Interview
“Okay, I’m happy to leave Paris there. We can revisit if there are any more questions I can think of, but while I’ve got you all here, can I just touch on a couple of other things?”
“Go for it,” I say, definitelynotmeaning it.
“Of course,” G says politely.
Looking drained, Len says nothing.
“I’m interested to hear your thoughts, Lennon. Dealing with everything you did, seeing your brother not only arrested but taken to the hospital, did you ever consider quitting?”
“Absolutely fucking not,” Len says without hesitation. “Ifthatpair of idiots could end up inthatmuch trouble with me in charge, imagine the mess they’d get themselves into if Iwasn’taround. As shit as it was, I think Paris was a big learning curve for all of us. The boys learned at a very young age to never again put themselves in situations where there was a chance anyallegations could possibly be made. Me, I had to learn to juggle the roles of mate, manager, and big brother. Because that’s what I was to both of them. Sean was my—our—brother. Bill and Tommy were older and both in long-term relationships. They were there to do their job, get paid, then fuck off home to the missus.”
Len calling Maca his brother creates a lump in my throat, but like I’ve done today and so many other times over the years, I swallow down my emotions with a swig of water.
“And you, Marley. Did Paris have you thinking about walking away from it all?” Daniel asks.
“No,” I reply with a headshake. “Ididn’t plan on it, but I thought that’s what Maca was going to do. I always knew he’d choose G over the band.” It’s my turn to sigh. “Obviously, none of us had factored in G’s reaction to events.”
CHAPTER
ELEVEN
GEORGIA
“You happy to continue, Georgia? I’d just like to get your thoughts while it’s still raw. Tell me, how are you feeling after hearing all of that?”
“Mostly, I’m angry at myself. Like I said before, my biggest regret is that I didn’t listen, didn’t hear him out,” I admit.
“Are you happy to talk us through Paris from your point of view? I know we’ve covered a lot, but I’d really like to get it out of the way today so we can move on tomorrow.”
I let out a heavy exhale because I don’t want to, but my brother has just bared his soul. Both of them actually—brothers, not souls, just to clarify. “Why not?”
“What or when did you first know anything had happened?” Daniel’s voice is quieter than when he asked his previous questions. Gentler, maybe.
Though it could just be my imagination.
“It wasn’t then—not when it happened—and it wasn’t a what or when,” I tell him, watching as his head tilts to the side and he frowns in confusion.
“It was a feeling.” I almost whisper the words. “When I flew out to see him on tour, I was thrown into this whole new world. The band was blowing up at home and across Europe, and from the moment Jim and I arrived at the airport, I knew things had changed. The screaming was the first clue. That’s something I never ever got used to. The boys arrived to pick us up, and we heard the screaming before we even saw where it was coming from, then we were whisked away in a limo to a hotel, and it was a lot. They’d gone from practising in our summerhouse, playing in pubs, and now suddenly this. I was overwhelmed, felt out of my depth in this whole new alien world that Sean appeared to have settled right into. Then, when I watched him, all of them—the band, I mean—on stage, saw and heard the reaction of the crowd, I just had this overwhelming sense of loss.” I pause for a moment as I admit my feelings from back then out loud for the very first time.
“They weren’t mine,ours,anymore. Up until then, I’d always felt like they belonged to me, Jimmie, and Len. Stupid and naive, I know, but we’d all been there from the beginning, since I was eleven and they were thirteen, and now everything had changed and they suddenly belonged to the rest of the world. I no longer had any say, any input. It was all out of my control, and as you’ve probably realised, I don’t do well… Anyway, yeah. It was just a gut feeling.”
“Were you jealous?” Dan asks.
“Not jealous; that’s not the right word. Resentful, maybe? But not of the band and their success. It was more aimed at the fans. I didn’t like sharing him. I didn’t like when they interrupted us for autographs and photos, and I know that’s insane because all those years of watching them rehearse, what did I think it was for? What the fuck did I think was going to happen when they made it? Because it was always awhen, never anif. We all knew they were talented and that one daythey’d make it. We just…. None of us anticipated how fast and how big everything would explode. And I was only there at the beginning; I never really got to witness the majority of it. By the time I was back on the scene, they were the biggest band in the world.”
The room remains silent. Daniel doesn’t ask another question, just lets me lead with where I want to take things.
“So, yeah. Even though he got down on one knee, proposed, gave me a ring, I still knew, I still had this sense of dread inside me. Going backstage before and after the show, that’s when it really hit me. I was terrified. It was loud and aggressive. I’m no prude, but the people were just vulgar. It was everything I imagined going backstage at a rock band’s concert would be, yet I was still shocked. I didn’t feel comfortable in that world and wasn’t sure if it was the way I wanted to live my life.”
“Did you relay all of this to Sean?” Dan asks.
“I didn’t really get chance. Not then, anyway. Years later, when we were back together, I did. He knew, anyway?—”
“They were the same,” Marley interrupts. “George and Maca. They were on the same page with the whole fame thing. George hated the intrusion but accepted it because she loved Mac and it came with the territory. Maca only cared about the music but hated everything that came with it.”
Daniel nods before asking, “So, Sean proposed? I didn’t know this.”
“No one did. He wanted to do things right—ask my dad’s permission and all that. I said yes and went home with his ring. In my head, I started planning our wedding and waited by the phone for him to call like he’d promised he would. But in my heart, my gut, I just had this feeling, and when he didn’t call, not for days, I knew. I didn’t knowwhat, but I knew something was wrong. Then when he did finally call, the first thing he said was I love you.”
