Page 102 of The Interview
“Should I feel some kind of remorse?” I ask the room. “Because I don’t. And if the bitch weren’t already dead, and I bumped into her tomorrow, I’d do it all again,” I admit. “And I don’t care if you include that.”
“What was going through your head? You saw her, and then what?” Daniel asks.
I shrug. “You know when people say a red mist comes down, and they just lose it? Well, my mist was beyond red. The rage I felt inside was beyond red. It was white hot, and I just wanted to hurt her the way she’d hurt me.”
“You know she was attacked multiple times by Carnage fans over the years?” he asks.
“Good,” Ash gets in before I can say anything. “Wish I’d been one of them.”
I give another shrug. “No more than she deserved,” I say.
“Remind me to never borrow your shampoo again without asking,” Lu calls out.
“I warned you she was a weapon,” Cam says from behind me.
I reach up and cover the hand he has resting on my shoulder. He leans down and kisses the top of my head, instantly calming me, because that’s what he does.
“Mum, you annihilated her,” Harry says. “I don’t think I’ve ever been angry enough to want to do that to someone.”
“Good,” I say. “I hope you never are.”
“Did you ever see her again after that?” Daniel asks.
“No, never. Look, don’t get me wrong. My actions that night are not something I’m proud of, but I also don’t regret them. I don’t know what the public will think of me for feeling that way. All I ask is that they try to remember that she made false rape allegations against my boyfriend and brother, and there are other things I’m not prepared to go public with that she did to make sure me and Sean were kept apart for as long as we were. The woman was a compulsive liar who didn’t care who she hurt to get her own way.”
“Tell me, then. How did it all go down when your niece became involved with Rocco and Haley’s son, RJ?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Lennon says, sitting up straight, holding his palm up.
“No,” I say. “Nice try, but I told you that wasn’t something I was prepared to talk about. This is about me and my relationship with Sean. It doesn’t involve Paige and RJ. Sean was dead before he was ever even on the scene. If Paige wants to add something to be included, that’s fine, but you won’t be getting anything from me.”
“Fair enough,” Daniel says. “On that note, shall we stop for lunch? Shelli, my amazing assistant, put an order in with Full Bifta just up the road. They should be delivering in about ten minutes.”
“Lovely jubbly.” My dad claps his hands. “Love a bit of Bifta.”
After a lunch of various sandwiches, cakes, and cups of tea, during which my mum became best friends with Daniel—my dad not so much—extra stools are brought in from my kitchen, so everyone can sit comfortably and watch what’s coming next.
Jim, Ash, and I are on the sofa. Two of my dining chairs are now on either end, so the boys can sit more comfortably.
Our makeup has been touched up, and we’re good to go.
“It’s late ’99. You’re married, back from your travels, you’ve had your run-in with Haley White, and you’re trying for a baby,” Daniel says as he sets the scene.
“We were. I had an inkling I was pregnant before Christmas. More than an inkling, I knew. But the boys were booked to play a millennium concert in New York on New Year’s Eve, and I thought it would be a good idea to wait, do a test there, and tell Sean then,” I explain.
“Yeah, you whispering in his ear while he was up on stage sent the whole world into a frenzy,” Daniel says. “Iconic.”
“Again, there’d been so much speculation about us: we couldn’t have kids because I was infertile due to my anorexia, Sean was infertile because of all of the drugs he took and the STDs he had, the old chestnut about Sean being gay, then the following week, I’d be pregnant, but it wasn’t Sean’s. It was relentless and exhausting. So, I just thought let’s tell him in the most public of ways so there was no story other thanthatstory for the press to run with.”
“You happy to see the footage?” Daniel asks.
I nod, not sure if I am.
The first video that plays is an interview we did with the network airing before the New Year’s Eve show. We didn’t do these very often because Sean hated them, but we were happy and in a good place, full of plans, so he agreed.
After Elaine, the female presenter, had introduced us, she started by asking about our Christmas and what our plans for the new millennium were.
“I’d like to slow down,” Sean tells Elaine. “We’ve taken some time out this year, spent most of it travelling, and it’s been great. But we’ve just bought a new house back in England, which we want to do lots of renovations on.”
