Page 93 of Chasing Blue
With his brows pulled down in confusion, Jack gives me a quick look before turning back to Asher. “Yeah, no worries.”
I shrug when Jack’s eyes again meet mine. As clueless as he is as to what my brother’s up to.
“Wanna play?” my dad calls out as I watch the boys leave. Nodding, I stand and move towards him.
“I like him, Scar. He’s a decent bloke. I remember the family from back in the day. Didn’t his mum die young?” my dad asks as he sets up the table.
“Yeah, I’m not sure how young, but his sister was just a baby.”
My dad nods for me to break, which I do, potting a small.
“Nice shot,” he says, totally unaware that I’ve spent hours playing pool at Foamies, my brother’s bar, over the years.
“That must’ve been shit for him, for all of them. You two are grownups, but it’s still sucked watching you deal with your grief this week.”
I pot four more balls as I process my dad’s words, the fact that we’re here, having this conversation at all, almost like we have a normal Father/Daughter relationship, when the truth is, for most of my life, it’s been anything but that.
When I miss the pocket with my next shot, I look up to see him watching me.
“You’ve been holding out on me. Hustled by my own daughter. Good job I didn’t put money on this game.”
I flip my cue, resting the end on the floor. Wrapping one hand around the narrow end, the other on my hip, I lean into it. I’m considering telling him there’s lots he doesn’t know about me, when he says, “I’ve missed out on so much. You’re remarkable, Scar. I Googled your business website yesterday, and I’m blown the fuck away by how talented you are and what you’ve achieved. I know you probably don’t care, and I’m not even sure if I’ve a right to be, but I’m so incredibly proud of you, of both of you.”
I shift my stance, gripping the end of my cue with both hands, swallow down the lump clogging my throat, and blink back the tears burning my eyes, but don’t say a word, I can’t. It’s not just what he’s saying, his honesty, him owning the way he fucked up, and fucked us up in the process, it’s the fact that it’s hitting me just how much I’ve missed having my dad in my life, and for that, as much as I’m terrified of him hurting me, I’m willing to give him a chance.
We both turn to look towards the noise coming from the side gate, and before I can reply to my dad, Asher walks into the yard, followed by Jack, his brother Nate, and his dad.
* * *
Despite the years,Nate and Scott remember me from working at the bar, and because they still drink at Foamies, they obviously know my brother.
“Hey, Scar,” Nate says as he leans in and kisses my cheek. “Long time no see.”
I smile up at his handsome face, noting how good-looking all of the Cole men are. “About eighteen years,” I tell him.
Other than being a regular at the bar, I didn’t know much about Nate. I’d heard he’d been a model when he was younger, travelled the world, was on the cover of magazines, his face on billboards, but decidedthatlifestyle wasn’t for him and came back to Palmers to work for his dad’s construction company.
Those were the rumours, but I’d never asked Jack if they were true, but still, to this day, his tall, lean frame and good looks were magazine cover worthy as were Jack’s and Shannon’s, even Scott, their dad is hot.
“Hey, Scarlett, good to see you again,” he says from the other side of the pool table, Jack and Nate now on either side of him.
All three have olive-skinned complexions. Both Nate and Scott have brown eyes like Shannon, Jack, his amazing greens, but each has different hair. Scott’s is silver, like Shann’s, Nate’s is a dirty blonde colour, and Jack’s is brown, but all of them are very easy on the eye.
We all take a seat around the large outdoor table and tuck into the pizzas, ribs, and wings.
I spent the next couple of hours watching the dynamics between the group. I didn’t feel left out. They encouraged me to play pool and darts, and I joined in their conversations about work, sports, music, and politics, but mostly, I watched and listened as realisation dawned on me.
I’ve spent most of my adult life avoiding this, never letting anyone in. Assuming that every relationship is likely to end in pain has meant that I’ve always sought out the broken men, the ones with issues I can try to fix, who, once they’re mended, will leave.
Despite trying, I don’t think I ever fixed any of them, not fully, but they did always leave. Some because they were arseholes. Others, the ones who wanted more than I could give them, eventually gave up. Except for Matt of course, that fucker hadnotleft quietly!
But seeing Jack with his dad, with my dad, his brother, my brother, and the way they all included me, it hit me, this is family, this is how life should be, and I wanted it. I wanted so badly to be able to trust Jack enough to want it with him. A normal life, a life surrounded by family, friends, and love.
Later that night, in the quiet of my bedroom, after he’d made love to me gently and while still buried inside me, Jack pressed his mouth to my ear and said, “I want this to work, Blue. It’s not what I was looking for, and it’s not what I thought I wanted, but I do. I want you, us to work, and before I fall any harder, I need to know we’re on the same page, that you’re gonna give me a chance to prove that what happened in the past was an almighty fuck up, and I’ll never let something like that happen again.”
He adjusts his position on top of me so his eyes can look down into mine.
“Is that what you want? Please fucking tell me it’s what you want . . .”
