Page 59 of Chasing Blue
“Fine, I’ll call an Uber,” she mimics as we both stand up. “I’ll drop you off,” she adds with a huff.
“Twenty-one,” Scarlett says with another sigh. “Just press the intercom, and I’ll buzz you up . . . Jack?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“We’re just talking.”
“Absolutely,” I lie.
I go to the bathroom, splash my face, and clean my teeth. In the bedroom I pull on jeans, boots, and grab a couple or twelve condoms from my drawer.
CHAPTER14
Scarlett.
I endthe call and look towards the end of my sofa where Zoe is dunking ginger nut biscuits into a glass of milk as she watches me.
“What did I do? Why did I agree to that? I’m hungover as fuck, I don’t want to talk to him. Definitely don’t wanna see him, so why did I agree to that?”
She sucks the milk out of the biscuit, making a slurping noise but remains silent with her eyes still on me.
“I cave too easily for him; this is why we can’t be together. It’s too one-sided. He broke my heart. I can’t be hurt like that again. Iwon’tbe hurt like that again.”
Wiping the milk moustache from her top lip, Zoe shrugs. “Thought you were only going to talk?”
“I am, we are, but I don’t even want to do that. I want a clear head when I tell him everything.”
“From what I’ve seen, you fall apart every time that man’s around. Even when he’s not around, like say, right now, you still fall apart so just get it out the way and take it from there.”
“You’re supposed to save me from myself,” I tell her as she dunks another ginger nut. “Not sit back dunking biscuits while watching me once again fuck up my life over a man.”
“Since when did you ever listen to my advice? Plus . . .” she points her biscuit in my direction, “you’re a grown arsed woman, Scar. Time to step up and sort your shit out because from where I’m sitting, very comfortably I might add, dunking my ginger nuts, your shit is never gonna be sorted until you have the conversation that needs to be had with Jack. All you’ll continue to do is bounce from one disaster to another. Either trying to fix the broken ones or keeping the good ones at arm’s length, never really moving on from the trauma of your past.Thattrauma,thatpast, all involves Jack, so have the conversation, put it all out there, and either walk away, or fuck each other’s brains out. After watching the two of you together last night, my money’s on the latter, and on that note, as much as I’d like to stay and watch you two beautiful creatures get it on, I won’t lie, it’ll probably make me horny. I’ll want to join in, and that’ll just make things awkward when I give my bridesmaid speech, and you ask me to be Godmother to the gorgeous child I know you will go on to one day create together.”
I close my eyes at the last part of her narrative and swallow down the lump it leaves in my throat.
“Sorry, that was insensitive, but I also know it to be true. You two have a connection, and if you can manage to move on from what happened all those years ago, I really think you’ll find you have something wonderful. Just give it a chance, Scar. Don’t try and fix the past, don’t try and run from it, just put it out there, and roll with what happens.”
She’s moved to standing in front of me now. Tears fill my eyes, and the lump is back in my throat, bigger than ever and firmly wedged there as she leans in and kisses the top of my head.
“I love you. Check-in later and let me know you’re okay. Be kind to him, but mostly, be kind to you.”
She turns, and I watch silently as she sets her glass down on the bench and leaves.
Drawing in a deep breath, I stand and head to the bathroom. I splash my face with cold water, moisturise, and shrug at my reflection in the mirror. I’m not doing any more than that. He’s seen me before with no makeup, not in eighteen years, but I haven’t aged too badly and don’t have the energy to make an effort, not even with my hair, which is piled on top of my head in a big messy bun.
Heading back to the sofa, I scoot Mac out of my way, pull him into my lap, and wait.
* * *
My stomach hurts,it’s tied itself in so many knots. I stand at my open front door, leaning into the frame, waiting for Jack to step out of the lift.
When my intercom buzzed, I hesitated for a long moment, seriously considered not answering, decided this conversation had to happen at some stage, started to move to the hallway while seriously considering not actually opening my front door, thought for a few long moments I was about to throw up, opened the front door, and now here I am. Still not sure I’m doing the right thing.
The door to the lift slides back, and there he is. Boots, jeans, hoodie, stubble-covered jaw, pouty lips, and that floppy hair he’s pushing back as those eyes . . . those beautiful, beautiful green eyes of his hit mine and he strides towards me.
Silently, I step aside to allow him space to move around me, but he doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow, and instead walks right into me. Pressing himself against me as my back hits the wall, his hands go to my hips, and he pulls them into him. At the same time, his mouth crashes down on mine.
Those full plump lips of his are soft and warm against mine, but the kiss is hard, forceful and it takes me a moment to react.
