Page 8 of Loving Wild
“Why?”
“What happened this afternoon?”
“Why?” Come the three responses.
“And what did you fight about yesterday that got him throwing chairs? I always thought Gabe was pretty laid back. He knows what you’ve been through. I can’t believe he’d do something like that,” Jo continues with the questions.
“I was putting him under pressure to open up to me about things that have happened in his past. We have a thing, total honesty, open communication, which works great when I’m spilling my guts, but trying to get him to do it . . .” I trail off because I’m not sure how much I want to say in front of Jo.
“Gabe shuts down,” Sam adds. “He’s not great at expressing his feelings.”
I shake my head. “I wouldn’t say that. I think he just . . . this doesn’t leave this room, Jo, promise me?”
My friend raises her brows and slowly shakes her head. “You really asking me to promise?”
“No, I know you won’t say anything, but I feel bad for talking about this because it’s not my secret to tell, but it’s you, and you’re like family to both of us, so yeah.” I shrug and let out a deep breath. “Gabe’s had some shit happen to him in the past, and he struggles to get his head around the fact it wasn’t his fault. The things that happened, they weren’t his fault . . .”
“He told you?” Sam asks.
“Yeah, but not until this afternoon when he took me up to Red Hill to meet with a client. I’ve worked with her before, and Jay usually does any construction work that needs doing. Obviously, that won’t be happening this time, so I called Gabe to come back early to pick me up, meet the client, and look at the work that needs doing. When he got there, it turns out, he’d already met the client, in fact, when he was eighteen, and she was ohhh, let me think, somewhere in her mid-thirties and married, they had a seven-month affair.”
“Oh shit,” Sam whispers.
“Far out,” Jo says.
“Karen McAlister,” Jess states.
I nod.
“Ohhhhhh,” Sam adds, obviously knowing something about what had gone on.
“Wait. Karen McAlister as in Mick McAlister’s wife?” Me, Jess, and Sam all nod in response to Jo’s question. “And what was the other thing, the thing he told you after?”
My eyes slice from Sam to Jess before landing on Jo’s. “When Gabe was fifteen, there was an incident. Something happened between him and his step-mum. She instigated it, thenshethreatened to blamehimif he ever spoke about it. His dad had a heart attack around the same time, and terrified the stress would kill him, Gabe kept quiet about it for a while.”
“An incident? What, like she made a pass at him or something?”
I nod.
I’ve never known my best friend to be lost for words, but as she stares at me with her mouth opening and closing, I know I’ve rendered her speechless.
“And because he was a fifteen-year-old boy, he reacted exactly the way you’d expect a fifteen-year-old boy to react, and he’s spent the rest of his life feeling guilty and that he’s somehow to blame,” I explain.
“Jackie?” Jo whispers. “Jackie Wild did that to him?” I nod.
“And this all happened today. Before what happened tonight, you found all this out?” Jess asks. I continue to nod.
“What the fuck?” Sam questions. “I don’t even know what to say. How are you even still functioning?”
I let out a long sigh and shrug. “If I think too hard about the answer to that, I’ll probably fall apart. Right now, I’m running on adrenalin and anger.”
Jo remains silent, but I can feel her eyes on me.
“You okay?” I ask my friend.
“You’vebeen through all the bullshityou’vebeen through today, and you’re askingmethat?”
“I’m just checking,” I tell her.
