Page 81 of The Story of Me
“So,” Ash and I say together.
“Are we doing this?” Jimmie asks.
I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed, my two best friends on either side of me. I look at each of them.
“Fuck yeah, we’re doing this, and Ash, just so we’re clear, there’s nothing creepy between me and my brother.”
“Whatever,” she says. “Most my brother ever did for me is give me a discount on a gram of coke. If Marls didn’t have me and the kids, he’d die for you, George. I know he would.”
“It’s not just Marley, Ash. Len’s no different and I’m sure Bailey’s the same. She’s their little sister; they’ve been raised to always protect her.”
“You’re so lucky, George, and now you’ve got TDH, all dominant and alpha, looking out for ya. Fuck, girl, your Mildred must have teeth. How’d you manage to attract these gorgeous men?” I shake my head at her, just wait till I show her the photos of Roman but I’ll save them for another time.
We have a group cry and decide not to mention any of this to the rest of the family yet. Cam and I have enough to work through without throwing IVF into the mix, but the thought that we may actually have a baby together at some stage in the future causes the strangest bubbling sensation in my belly, and for the first time, in a very long time, I allow myself to hope.
* * *
Dinner is a noisy, chaotic affair as it always is when we’re all together. Once everyone has eaten, I dish out presents from Australia to all of the kids. The girls all get Havaiana flip flops and cuddly kangaroos and koalas, and the boys all get Billabong flip flops, baseball caps and T-shirts. The kids all insist on wearing their new clothes and then head off to the playroom while the adults remain sitting around the dinner table talking and enjoying after dinner drinks.
The boys and my dad have been polite to Cam and have engaged him in conversation. They all seem to have enjoyed more than their fair share of my dad’s best whiskey and bourbon, and Cam definitely seems a lot more relaxed than when we arrived. He sits with his arm around the back of my chair and strokes his fingertips over my shoulder, then up the side of my neck as I tell my family about learning to surf in Australia.
When the conversation falls quiet, Marley asks, “So what now, George? What’re your plans?” I lean back in my chair and look at Cam. I don’t know how he wants to play this. He’s very much like my dad with the old East End respect attitude and I don’t know if he wants to talk to my dad privately about me moving in with him or if he’s happy for me just to announce it. His eyes wander over my face and then he gives an ‘I’ve got this’ kind of wink and clears his throat.
“I was talking to your dad about this earlier,” he says, looking from Marley to Len and Bails. “I’ve asked Georgia to move in with me at my place in Docklands for now, but we’ve decided to look for a house together.” Marley slides down in his chair and folds his arms across his chest; he looks like a sulky teenager as he bites down on his bottom lip.
His eyes move to mine. “You’re moving in with him, already? You sure?” I nod my head slowly. The room is quiet; the only sounds are of the kids all playing in their room along the hallway.
“It’s not like we don’t know each other.” I shrug, look at Cam and then at each of my brothers. “I know I’ve spent the past year behaving like I should be sectioned.” I roll my eyes, realising what I’ve said. “Well, yeah, yeah, I know, I was sectioned, but you know what I mean.” I twist the corner of my napkin and look down at it for a few seconds, thinking that the twisted corner feels a little like my insides right now. As I let it go, it uncurls itself and I allow my belly to do the same. “Look, I’ve been a fucked-up mess for a year. Going to Australia was the best thing I could’ve done. I’ve had a chance to get my head straight and realise how selfish I’ve been with my behaviour.” I look around the table at all of my family. “I’ll never be able to thank you all enough for helping me through the worst experience of my life, while at the same timedealing with your own grief. I behaved selfishly and I’m sorry for that.” Cam pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head. “I love you all and I am one hundred percent sure that I’m in love with this man here. It’s not like Cam and I have just met. We’ve known each other years and it was by pure chance that we bumped into each other in Australia.” Bailey raises his eyebrows over that little untruth. My family know nothing about my accidental overdose and telephone call to Cam but I carry on regardless. “We’ve both been dealt a shit hand in life. We’re both old enough to recognise love when it smacks us in the face and we don’t see the point in hanging about.”
“You know the press are gonna have a field day with this, don’t ya?”
“They already are, Marls. They’ve been camped outside Cam’s place since I got back.”
His eyes flick between me and Cam. He looks like he’s about to say something but Cam speaks first. “I’ve been speaking with Bailey the last couple of days. We’ve taken on Scotty Davies as close protection for Georgia. I’ve got her a new car so she’s not trying to dodge the press in her little motor. It’s blacked out, bulletproof. You name it; it’s got it. She won’t be going anywhere without me, Benny or Scott for the next few weeks at least. I’m sure they’ll get bored and leave us alone eventually, but for now, I’ll do what I can to keep them from hassling her.”
“Have you thought about releasing a statement? If you make it official, then there’s no story, well, no exclusive, at least,” Lennon says.
Cam turns to me and shrugs. “That’s entirely up to Georgia. If it’s gonna help, then I’m up for it.” His eyes are back on me. “Kitten?” I feel myself blush as he calls methatname in front of all my family.
“Did he just call you Kitten?” Oh, Ash, just for once could she not keep her mouth zipped? I give her a small nod. “Fucking hell, that’s so hot.” I look around Cam to where Jimmie sits and nods at me.
“And once again, yes, she did just say that out loud.”
“You’ve never called me by a nickname,” Ashley whines and gives Marley a dig in the ribs with her elbow.
“I called you a cunt the other day and you punched me.” My mum spits her wine while everyone else laughs.
I sit back in my chair and look at Lennon. “If you think it’ll help, Len, I’m up for it.”
He nods. “Okay, I’ll talk to ya tomorrow and we’ll put out a press release. What about an interview? Would you be up for that?”
I shake my head. “Not really. Let’s just release a statement and see if that does the trick.” I turn and look at Bailey. “You’re very quiet, Bails. You got anything to say?”
He drains his drink. “Nope, I think you’re in a good place, with a good man and I know I can trust him to look after ya.” He smiles and nods his head at me. “I’m really happy for the pair of ya, really happy.” He smiles at me again and my heart feels like it’s being squeezed, but in a good way. I look over at my dad, who’s sitting back in his chair, just observing the conversation going on around the table. Harley comes from the playroom. It’s getting late and she’s only four and obviously tired, she holds her arms up to me.
“Cuddles, Porge?” I pull her up and she straddles my lap, resting her head on my chest. I kiss the top of it and breathe her in. She looks up at me and laughs, “I hear your heart.” She grins at me, her big brown eyes shining at me, and I suddenly wonder if I ever get to have another baby, what colour eyes will they have? My brothers all have brown eyes and so do all of their kids, except for Jimmie and Lennon’s eldest daughter, Paige, who looks more like me every time I see her. She’s the only one of my nieces and nephews with blue eyes. Cam’s eyes are brown so I assume our children will have brown eyes,ifwe were to be lucky enough to have them.
Cam pulls me into his side and whispers in my ear, “God, that suits you. Watching you with a child like this is seriously turning me on, Kitten. I badly want to introduce my super sperm to your sexy eggs and see what amazing concoction we come up with.” I shudder as I smile up at him and give a slight nod.
