Page 50 of Conviction
I know he’s a man, but there’s just no other way to describe him. He has a beautiful face. Full plump lips, possibly the most kissable lips I’ve ever seen in my life. A strong jaw, which right now, is covered in stubble. I shudder just thinking about how that would feel against my skin, trying so hard to remember how ithadfelt against my skin. I’d kissed those lips. Reed, the world-famous rock star was, once upon a time, Conner Reed, my boyfriend.
I push myself up to a more seated position and look around the room that’s being lit by just a couple of lamps. There’s a huge flat screen television, a big open fireplace and an enormous leather sofa, identical to the one that I’m lying on.
“I’m in your house?” It’s a question, not a statement this time, as I’m not really sure where I am.
“You are,” again, he smiles as he speaks. His blue-green eyes sparkling in the lamplight.
I’m actually a little surprised. I’d imagined him living in a penthouse apartment, filled with black leather and chrome furniture. This, this is beautiful. It’s a home, a real home.
“It’s beautiful,” I tell him.
“Thank you. It needed a lot of work when I bought it. My dad and my brothers helped me fix it up.”
My eyebrows shoot up at the mention of his dad. They never got along when he was younger. Well, it wasn’t so much that they never got along, it was more that his dad was always drunk and angry.
“Well, you all did a great job. I really like it.”
“I’m glad.” He smiles. It’s not his ‘rock star’ smile, it’s almost a shy smile. The smile of the eighteen-year-old boy he used to be, that I used to know. The boy that I loved so very much. The boy that I was so sure loved me.
I will not cry.
“I’ve imagined you here so many times, Meebs.”
I cry.
He gets up from the bean bag, but I put my hand out to stop him from coming closer. So instead, he just sits forward, resting his elbows on his knees, rubbing his hands together.
It’s not that I don’t want him closer, I do, almost more than my next breath. But first, I need answers.
“What happened, Con? What happened that night? What happened to us?”
He rakes his fingers through his hair.
“You didn’t come, Meebs. After all the plans we made, you didn’t fucking show.”
“I was in the hospital, I couldn’t just leave. I thought you would’ve come to me.”
He frowns, looking totally confused. Shaking his head, he says, “You said that earlier, about the hospital, I don’t understand. What hospital? Who was in the hospital?”
He’s lying, he’s got to be lying. I press my fingertips into my temples to try and stop the headache that’s building inside. Conner passes me a glass of water and two headache tablets. I throw both the tablets to the back of my throat and swallow them down with the entire contents of the glass. With how much alcohol I’ve consumed the last couple of days, I’m surprised I don’t feel much worse.
Conner takes the glass and passes me a box of tissues. I must look a complete mess with all the crying I’ve done tonight.
“D’you want a cup of tea?” he asks, and I can’t help but smile. Conner and his tea. It was such a part of the boy I knew, I’m so glad that hasn’t changed.
“You still need twenty cups a day to function?” I ask. He shrugs and gives me that same shy smile as earlier.
“Thirty when I’m in the studio.”
He holds his hand out to me. “Let’s have a cup of tea and some toast, then you can tell me what happened that night and why you were at the hospital.”
I stand and take his hand, realising then that I’m barefoot. My shoes are sitting neatly at the edge of his sofa. He notices me looking at them.
“I like your shoes, the colour matches my favourite guitar,” he says, sounding almost nervous.
“Thank you, we obviously share great taste in colour,” I tell him. I want to be angry with him and say something bitchy, but I just haven’t got it in me and, I might possibly still be a little drunk and unable to think clearly.
“We always did like similar things,” he takes my hand as he speaks and I let him lead me to the kitchen. My thoughts a jumbled mess in my head.How can he not know why I was at the hospital that night?Sophie called him, my brother called him. They both left messages, letting him know what was going on.
