Page 137 of All the Forbidden Things
My chest aches with the heaviness of my heart, the weight causing my shoulders to slump.
For a very short while, we had it all, but we can’t keep it.
I can’t keep Billie and risk a court case that might mean losing Layla.
I’ve never felt so helpless or hopeless in my life.
Doing the right thing is going to mean breaking Billie’s heart and all my promises.
But knowing I’m doing the right thing, doesn’t mean it’s going to hurt any less.
“Micky’s waiting downstairs, you ready to go?”
I look up to find Aaron standing in the now empty office staring down at me.
“She won.”
“She hasn’t won … it might mean you have—”
I hold my hand up to stop him. “I won’t, I can’t risk losing Layla, and if Billie knows what’s at stake, she won’t let me. She won’t care about the pictures, but she won’t put Layla at risk.”
Aaron let’s out a deep sigh. “I don’t want to be discussing this here, you never know who might be listening, let’s talk about it in the car.”
I stand, and with Aaron’s hand in the small of my back, feeling utterly defeated, I take my first step towards the girl who’s heart I have to break.
Billie
As soon as the doorto the hotel opens and Max walks through it with a look of absolute devastation on his face, I know something is wrong. Instinctively, I hold Layla tighter against me, fearing we’re about to lose her, and that Whitney’s won. Max says nothing as he takes Layla from me.
He kisses the top of her head, taking a moment to breathe in her baby scent, just like he always does.
Like everything is normal.
But I know. Without him having to tell me, I know that something is very, very wrong.
Jorja Smith is singing “Don’t Watch Me Cry” on the music channel I have the television tuned to, and I feel like it’s an omen. I reach for the remote and turn it off. Hoping that will be enough, that it’ll change the wrong and make it right.
“What happened?” I finally ask.
“Tell you in a minute,” Max responds. His eyes bleed devastation but have yet to land on me.
Micky stands in the doorway, and the instant my eyes meet his, he looks away. My gut churns and tightens. My skin prickles and my blood’s so cold, it’s painful as it pumps through my veins.
I watch in terrified silence as Max packs every single trace of Layla into her change bag. He clicks the handle of her car seat in place and hands her and the bag to Mick.
“I’ll be down in a minute,” Max tells him. ‘I’ll’, no ‘we’ll, justhim.
Micky leaves without a word or a backward glance.
“Max?”
“Layla’s going to stay with my mum tonight. I’m taking her back to Jay’s with me in the morning, but we need to talk.”
“About what? Why can’t we talk with Layla here? What about me, where am I going?” I wrap my arms around him, standing up on my tiptoes, I press my mouth against the soft skin below his ear
“Talk to me. Please. You’re scaring me, Max. Tell me what’s wrong?”
He reaches for each of my wrists, and pulls my arms from around him, setting them at my sides. I’m not sure if he moves me away from him, or if he steps back, but there’s suddenly a distance between us.
