Page 107 of All the Forbidden Things
“Listen to me. Yeah, youaredifferent from most of the women I’ve had in my life, the women I’ve fucked, but that doesn’t mean you’re not my type. I think you’re fucking gorgeous. I can’t take my eyes off you when you’ve got your clothes on, and I can’t wait to see you with them off. My dicks hard right now just thinking about being inside you. I feel like it has been since you stepped out of that car and walked up my drive. Please, please don’t ever think otherwise. Are we clear on all of that?”
He points his finger between us.
“Your dick’s hard and you want to fuck me, goddit.”
“There’s more to it than that, Bamm. I wouldn’t be asking you to take a chance on me if this was just a fuck and run. It’s not, at least not for me.”
I want to crawl right into his lap and grind against him, maybe sit on his face. I’m wet just observing and listening to him talk. He’s watching me with his brows raised and I realise he’s expecting an answer.
“Not for me either.”
“Good, because while we try to figure out what exactly it is we have, we’re gonna have alotto deal with. At some stage, if what we have is real, and I hope to fucking god it is, I really, really do, then we’re gonna have your brother to tackle, and I’ve no fucking clue how that’ll go down. Well, I do, I just don’t wanna think about it right now.”
I listen to every word. I take in every single emotion conveyed in his expressive golden-hued eyes. I watch him frown, smile, nod, and shake his head, and I stare.
“And then, when we’ve got through all of that, once news ofusgets out, the press will come for you. I’m a thirty-eight-year-old married man, you’re my twenty-two-year-old nanny, they’ll come at you hard, and they’ll be vicious. They’ll assassinate your character, and they’ll make up any ol’ shit they need to sell the story.”
He finally takes his eyes from mine, looks down at his now sleeping daughter, and asks softly, “Are you ready for that, Bamm? Am I worth all of that? The stories that’ll be in the newspapers, the rumours that’ll be posted all over social media? The fallout with your brother?” His eyes meet mine again, emotion spilling from them. “That’s the only one that really scares me, for you and for me. Cal is my best friend, he’s your family, and his reaction tousis the one thing I think might break it.”
“No. He’s my brother. He loves me. Yeah, he can be a little overprotective, but after everything I’ve had happen in my life, it’s to be expected. All he really wants is for me to be happy.”
“But you won’t be happy. In the beginning, with everything that we’ll be dealing with, you’re gonna be miserable, we’ll both be miserable.”
“Not if I have you. Not if I have you and Layla. As long you’re by my side—” As if on cue “Look After You” by Aron Wright starts to play over the sound system. I stop talking and point up in the general direction of the speaker in the ceiling. “This. These words. This song.” I tilt my head and watch as he listens. The corners of his mouth pulling up into the faintest of smiles as he slowly nods.
“I can do that. I’ll be that man. If it’s what you want, I’ll always look after you.”
“It is what I want.”
He smiles, and it’s possibly the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile I’ve ever witnessed. “Yeah? You want that?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure? We’ve not even kissed yet. We’re discussing a future together, a commitment to be together, and we haven’t even kissed.”
“Then kiss me.”
“If I kiss you there’s no going back. Not for me.”
“Then Ireallywant you to kiss me.”
He shakes his head, and again, my heart stops for a beat.
“No, you come to me, Bamm. You show me that this is really what you want. But I warn you now, if you do this, if you kiss me, I’ll kiss you back, and I’ll take. I’ll take it all, and there’ll be no returning to how things were. So, you best only kiss me if you’re all in. If you’re absolutely positive what you want is me, Layla, the life I lead, and all that entails”—he watches me in contemplative silence for a few long moments— “The rest, all of that we’ll figure out as we go.”
I nod. He’s in one corner of the sofa, I’m in the other. He holds out his hand. It’s such a very short distance, but I know if I take those few short steps and close the space, my life will be changed irrevocably. Like he said, there’ll be no going back. And I don’t care. I want this. I want him. I want ourus. I want more than a crackle. I want lightning bolts.
So, I lean towards Max and allow him to take my hand.
Ourusinvolves all of the forbidden things, but if we can overcome even a few of them, our us might just end up being all of the most magnificent things.
When he pulls me towards him, I allow it.
When I reach his hard body, I straddle it.
When he rests his forehead against mine, I lean into it.
Our lips are so close they’re just a breath away from touching. I flick out my tongue and wet mine in preparation for what I hope is to come. Because this, his kiss, and everything that will come after, is so very much what I want. All of it. Every part.
