Page 85 of The Story of Us
I smile at her. “We?”
“You’re my baby girl George; I’ll stand by you no matter what. We all do stupid things at some time in our life darling, believe me, you’re not the first woman to be in this predicament and you most definitely won’t be the last.”
CHAPTER 24
I don’t tell Sean that Cam owns the home that we are walking through, if I tell him, he will want to know how I know and I’ll have to either tell him about seeing Cam here yesterday or I’ll have to come up with another lie and I don’t want to tell him any more lies. At least that’s how I justify not telling him in my twisted, two timing, and cheating brain. Sean absolutely loves the place. I have asked Vera to let us walk through on our own; I also called her yesterday afternoon and asked her to say nothing about the owner of the house or our running into him yesterday. The hint that it could lose her a big fat commission is enough to garner her silence and we are left alone to wander through. We stand looking at the pool, hand in hand.
“What are your thoughts Georgia? I love it, it feels like home already.” I don’t know what to say, could I live here, should I even be considering this?
“I don’t know Sean; I felt like that yesterday, I’m not so sure today though.”
“Why, what’s changed?” About a million different things. What if I’m pregnant? What if it’s Cam’s baby? I’d be bringing up his child, with another man, in a home that he planned to live in with me, everything about this is all so fucked up and wrong and it’s all my fault, I’m a monster. I suddenly become aware of a dull ache in the bottom of my belly.
“Georgia, what don’t you like today that you did yesterday?”
“I don’t know, I’m not sure, I don’t feel very well.” My head swims slightly, I feel so trapped by my own wrong doings that I feel on the verge of an anxiety attack.
“I need the toilet.” I head toward the toilet in the pool room and Sean follows me, we never close the door when we use the bathroom so I leave it open now as Sean talks about getting planning permission for a recording studio on the grounds. I pull up my skirt, pull down my knickers and see that they are full of blood. I’ve got my period, and I burst into tears. Sean gets completely the wrong idea about why I’m crying, which just goes to worsen my guilt and makes me cry harder.
“Gia, baby, please don’t cry, it’s only September, we said six months remember? Next year, that’s when we’ll be pregnant, next year, baby please, don’t cry, I hate seeing you cry.” He’s kneeling in front of me, as I sit on the toilet, in the home of the man that hasn’t made me pregnant and I don’t know if they’re tears of joy, regret, guilt or sadness.
“I love this house G, let’s put in an offer, and let’s buy this fucker!” He’s so happy and excited, that I just blow my nose and nod yes.
***
The next few months go by in a blur, we completed on the sale of the house on the first of December but have no plans to move in until next year. I want a new kitchen and bathrooms, the place needs painting and I want new carpets in all of the bedrooms and we’re still waiting on planning permission for Sean’s studio.
We have a massive family Christmas at my Mum’s and leave all of the grandchildren with my parents on the day before New Year’s Eve and fly out with the band to New York, where they’ll be playing at a special concert in Time Square.
I’ve felt strangely off the last few days, I’ve skipped my December period and I’m hoping beyond hope that I’m pregnant, in fact, I know that I am. I know my own body, but I decide to buy myself a pregnancy test just to be sure before I pass up an opportunity to consume vast amounts of alcohol during the New Year celebrations. I take the test as soon as we get to the hotel and it’s positive. I can hardly contain myself, luckily we had to drop the boys off en route for some interviews and I’m actually sitting watching my Husband live on the television as the two blue lines appear on the stick I just weed on and as I watch him, I hatch a plan.
New York in December is freezing, we have dinner with all of the band members later that night and I get away with saying that I’m saving myself for the next night when I turn down any drinks. We have an early night, and then spend New Year’s Eve daytime, lazing at the hotel and doing some shopping. When we head back, I get a manicure, a pedicure, and have my hair and makeup done in our room. Courtesy of the television station airing the show, the boys will play a two hour long set starting at eleven thirty, get the crowd warmed up and then count the New Year in and rock them through the first few hours of the year two thousand. We arrive around nine and are interviewed by various TV stations and shows about what the new millennium means for us and we give up more than usual by admitting that we are moving into a new home and looking to start a family. I wait for the boys to start their set before I talk to the shows director and tell him what I want to do. He’s over the moon and gets the announcer on the TV broadcast to repeat to the viewers to stay tuned for a very important announcement regarding Carnage. I don’t tell Ash, I don’t tell Jim and at five to twelve when I walk on stage in between songs and stand next to my Husband, everyone seems a little confused but Sean just goes with it.
“Hey baby,” he says to me but into his mic. “This is my beautiful Wife New York City, just look at her, ain’t she just fuckin’ gorgeous!”
The crowd goes wild and my cheeks burn despite the cold, I wrap my arms around his neck, and I kiss him like my life depends on it, making the roar from the crowd deafening. Then hand him the stick with the two little blue lines on, saying into his ear, “Happy New Year baby, we’re pregnant”.
He looks at the stick, registers the words I’ve just told him, and I watch as his mouth drops open. I nod at him. There’s a camera crew right in our face but we don’t even see it, we just have eyes for each other. Sean bursts into tears and kisses me so softly. The people at home have obviously been told what’s going on, but the crowd in front of us have no idea what’s happening. Sean moves the cameraman out of the way pulls me into his side and sobs into his mic.
“My Wife, my beautiful Gia, has just made me the happiest man alive, she’s told me people that… ” He pauses and I don’t know if it’s for effect or so that he can regain his composure. “SHE’S FUCKING PREGNANT!” he roars. The crowd roars, Jimmie, Ash and Lennon are all on the stage with us and the rest of the boys from the band, we all kiss, cry and hug and count our way down to the year 2000 and it will forever be one of the happiest moments in my life.
***
We celebrate back at the hotel into the early hours; I head off to bed around five, leaving Sean and the rest of the boys and a few other people I don’t even know, to party. I’m woken at around eight am by someone banging on the door of the suite, as I look through the spy hole, I see that it’s Milo and Dave, carrying Sean between them. I open the door and look at the state my Husband has got himself in, he is, quite literally, legless; he grins at me. “Gia, baaaby,” he tries to sing to me. “I’m sooo fappy, huck, huckin, fuck.” He looks up at me and laughs. “You know what I mean.”
“Park him on the bed.” I stand aside so the boys can fit through. They take him through the lounge area and into the bedroom, laying him face down on the bed. The boys are both puffing and sit down for a few seconds.
“Are we gonna make the flight?” I ask them.
“Fuck knows,” they both say together, they high five at their unity and I smile.
“You two want a coffee, some food?”
“Na, we’re good thanks George, we’re all coffeed out. You might wanna try and get some down his Gregory in a coupla hours. I can’t see them getting us another flight out of here on New Year’s Day, private jet or not, so if we don’t get on this one, I reckon we’ll be stuck here for a few more days.”
I feel absolutely exhausted now and just want to get my head down before I work on getting my Husband sober. “What’s the latest we can be at the airport?”
“About four but Marley’s in an even worse state than him and Lens not much better.” I shake my head.
