Page 112 of CowSex
He smiles but doesn’t answer the question. Instead, he asks, “who’s this singing?”
“Jess Glynne.”
“Great voice. I like the song, too.”
I nod my approval. “Give me six months, and I’ll educate you on all things music.”
“Can’t wait.” He wiggles his toes, and they brush against either side of my hips.
“Will you let me listen to some of yours?”
“Music?”
“Yeah. Not just what you like to play, but what you like to listen to too.”
“I’d like that. My CD collection is at my other house. Once this place is fixed up, I’ll move them here.”
“You still have CD’s?”
“I still have vinyl.”
“Fuck me, you’re old.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
We’re both quiet again. Jess is replaced by Adele when Koa says, “I’m sorry for reading your messages.”
“It's not about you reading my messages Koa. I wasn’t hiding anything from you on purpose, I just wasn’t sure how to handle Reggie. I didn’t wanna tell you about his calls and messages and complicate us even more.”
“You think we’re complicated?”
“Don’t you?”
“I think we’re perfect.”
I shake my head. “You’re full of shit. Don’t think you can charm your way out of this, that hurt, the way you sounded so accusatory over those messages? It bloody hurt.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” He sits up straight and bends his knees. With his elbows resting on them, he dangles his wine glass in one hand.
“The women in my life never gave me cause to trust them.”
“I’m not them. Nor am I anything likethem.”
“No, Gracie, you’re not.”
“What does that mean?”
His eyes sparkle, and he smiles softly. My heart takes a direct hit.
“You’re not like any woman I’ve ever met. I’m not sure—fuck— I don’t know. I feel like I’m just starting out at fourteen or fifteen again and know nothing about the opposite sex.” He gives a small laugh. “This is so different to anything I’ve ever experienced in my life.”
“Me, too,” I admit. My chest hurts because my heart is banging so hard against it.
“I was jealous when I saw those messages. It’s been a long while since I cared about anyone enough to make me feel that way. The truth is, I didn’t feel that jealous when I found out that Lucy had moved on so soon after our split. I kinda knew she wasn’t all in. I’ll admit I didn’t expect her to end it so soon, but I half expected it to happen at some stage.”
I watch as he leans back in the water again. He stretches his legs out and lifts each of mine over his so that he doesn’t squash me. There’s nothing sexy about the manoeuvre, but it gets my insides squirming all the same. Maybe it’s just because we’re here, sharing a bath and talking, the fact that he cares enough to adjust our positions, so I’m comfortable. It might mean nothing to others, to me, it means everything.
