Page 85 of Spiralling Skywards: Fading
2015
It was likea fog but worse than the fog I’d felt like I was in before, worse than the cloud I’d felt like I was living under, worse than anything I’d ever experienced, and I couldn’t find my way out. I didn’t see it, but it was there. It surrounded me. I felt it—smothering, choking, suffocating.
Some days I could breathe and think clearly. Those were the good days. The best days. I told Liam every day was a best day. I had tried in the past to tell him when I was having bad days, but he never heard me.
He just said, “Tell me what you need, pretty girl? Tell me, and it’s yours. Anything you want.” But he never heard me when I told him that I just wanted him. All I wanted was for him to see me like he used to, to hear me. When I told him, “I’m fine,” I wanted him to see, I wanted him to reallyhearme. I wanted him to just know that Iwasnotfine.
But he didn’t. So, I smiled. I fought my way through the fog, and I smiled, and I said that I was fine. Everything was fine.
