Page 59 of Spiralling Skywards: Fading
He had no clue where this conversation was about to go. No clue about what I was getting at.
“No, your mumwasn’tsaying that at all. What shewassaying was that she didn’t mind changing her plans so she could come early. The plans you asked her to change when you talked to herduringthat call.”
I was standing just inside our front door, Liam just outside it. The hall light was off behind me, but the outside light was illuminating Liam in a soft golden glow. He opened his mouth to say something, closed it, sighed, and then started again.
“I really thought I was gonna be able to get out of it. I’d only found out that morning about the trip, and then when I saw your reaction to being told we were having twins, I didn’t wanna mention the trip.”
He tilted his face and rested his forehead on mine. It was only then that I realised how much I was shaking.
“I asked my mum as back up. I honestly thought I’d be able to get out of it, Sarah, but it’s too big of a deal. Almost every country in the world is on its arse right now, but China has one of the biggest growth markets. They own some of the largest mining projects in Australia and are looking for more, why shouldn’t we be the ones supplying the labour?”
He let go of the cases he had been hanging on to and wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being upfront and honest with you, I just didn’t wanna upset you anymore that day.”
We didn’t argue often. We were both pretty easy-going people. Yeah, I was miserable in the mornings, but Liam had worked out that it was best to ignore me till I had fully woken up. We bickered about petty things like wet towels on the bed, the milk being left out, toast crumbs in the butter, all that kind of shit, but we’d never had a screaming match, but I felt like I couldn’t let this go.
I let him off easily when Luke dropped the original bombshell about the trip, but this time I needed him to know exactly how I felt. Trouble was, I was so upset that I knew I would just end up crying if I said anything.
“Not good enough, Liam. Not good enough,” I managed to say before I twisted out of his arms and walked away.
“Don’t fucking walk away from me.” His voice was low and controlled.
“Don’t fucking lie to me then. One thing. It’s the one thing I’ve ever asked of you.” I turned around and spat back at him.
He let out a long breath and rested each of his hands on the handles of the cases. Dropping his gaze to the floor, he shook his head before looking up at me and saying, “I’m sorry.”
“You always are.”
We barely spoke for the rest of the week. The small gathering we had to let everyone know that we were expecting two boys did nothing but give me a headache. It was good to see everyone, but I was equally as happy when they left.
After originally having no impact, my hormones were now playing havoc with my emotions, and I’d had a good long cry in the shower nearly every day. Liam hadn’t once initiated sex the entire week, which made me entertain all sorts of paranoid thoughts about him no longer fancying me, which just made me cry more. I was just over seven months pregnant with twins and gaining more and more weight each day. I felt fat, bloated, and gross—no wonder my husband didn’t want me.
I figured Maggie and Lori knew something was up. They’d spent the week shopping and had been out of the house most of the time so they could make sure everything was taken care of before Liam left, which was in the morning.
“Bub, I don’t wanna leave tomorrow with things like this between us.”
“Don’t go then,” I told him without turning around to face him as we lie in bed.
“I have to go. The Chinese are very traditional, they invited both partners. If one of us doesn’t show, they could take offence and it could jeopardise our chances of winning the contract.”
I finally turned and faced him.
“I know all of this. I’m aware of how important it could be to you, but you’re missing the point. Yeah, I hate that you’re going, but I understand why. That’s not why I’m angry with you.”
I felt my bottom lip tremble as I looked directly into his face for the first time all week. He was leaving tomorrow for three whole weeks, and I regretted being so petty and dragging out our argument.
“You hurt me,” I managed to whisper. “I feel like I’m always the last to know what your plans are. It makes me feel like I’m second best to everything else in your life.”
He reached his hand around my hip and pulled towards him.
“Never, Sarah, never. You are my life. You, Carter, and the twins are my number one priority. I work the hours I do to provide this life for us. I work hard so we can have a nice home, drive nice cars, and take nice holidays.”
“But we never see you. I’d rather sell the house and the cars and stay in a caravan in Bognor if it meant you didn’t have to travel and work such long hours. Anyway, it’s not about that. I’m hurt because you lied.”
“I didn’t lie.”
“You made a promise you knew you couldn’t keep.”
