Page 18 of Spiralling Skywards: Fading
“Not even nearly.”
“Carry on then, don’t let me stop ya.”
“Pffftt. You couldn’t if you tried. It’s my house, I’ll behave however the fuck I like.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“And that includes, exactly like a spoiled thirteen-year-old, does it?”
“If I feel like it.”
“Grow the fuck up.”
“Make me.”
We stared at each other for a few second. Unable to ignore just how ridiculous I sounded, we both started to laugh.
I walked towards my brother, and he stood, holding his arms open for me.
“I miss him. I miss him so much. My chest hurts.” I wailed like a child, too tired and too upset to care much how I sounded.
“I know, and he misses you. He knows he said a shitty thing, and he’s sorry. If I didn’t believe he was sorry, I wouldn’t be here. He hates that you’re so unhappy, and he hates that you’re arguing.”
“He dismissed my job and what I do as nothing. I love my job. I know I don’t earn what he does, but my job’s still important to me.”
“Stop crying. He told me what he said, and I told him he’s a dick. He’s under a lot of pressure over there, Sunshine. How he handles this could make or break the company. He really needs you right now. He’s worried about how you’re feeling. Worried about how pissed off you are with him. Having you by his side would take some of the pressure off.”
“But he left me. He just left on our wedding day—night—whenever.”
“Sarah, I’m gonna tell you something that you might not be aware of.”
I looked up at my brother and waited.
“Del’s roll is to run the Australian and Asian area of our business. He was supposed to do that from Australia but he met you and decided to stay here and make a life.”
He pauses, as if I was supposed to understand what that meant. I didn’t, so I gave a small shrug.
“Go on.”
“That means he runs that side of things from here. He works long hours because he’s covering two timezones. He does it because he met and fell arse over tit for you.”
I felt my shoulders slump and a loud exhale escaped me. How did I not know this?
“I didn’t know this. Whydon’tI know this?”
“Because he didn’t want you feeling under pressure about moving to Australia.”
“But I don’t wanna live in Australia. I mean, I’ve never actually been there but...”
“Exactly.” Luke cuts me off. “He knows you wouldn’t wanna leave Nan and Grandad and he would never ask you to.”
I’ve stepped away from him and lean on the bench top between us, facing him.
“It means he has to work longer hours but he makes it work. He does that for you.”
I felt terrible. My heart hurt each time it beat, weighed down by guilt.
