Page 52 of Spiralling Skywards
It was stilldark when I woke up. I was on my front, sort of in the recovery position. Liam was behind me, one arm bent under my head, the other slung across my hip. One of his legs was between both of mine, and I could feel his dick pressed against my arse. I was too hot but too happy and content to do anything about it.
Everything inside me clenched when I thought about the things he’d done to me last night. After blowing my mind in the shower, he’d then proceeded to do the same thing on the bed. Twice. Once with his tongue and fingers, which he stuck in places I didn’t want to even contemplate, and then again with his dick. We’d wrapped ourselves around one another, chilled, satiated, and blissed to the max and promptly fell asleep.
I had no idea how long ago that was. The darkness outside lending no clue.
I needed to use the bathroom badly but still didn’t want to move. The weight of his body pressed against mine felt delicious. I was surrounded by the scent of him, of me, of us and sex. It was in the air, on our skin, and all over the sheets. Us. Me and him. Liam Delaney and Sarah Carter, we were now a couple, and later today, the whole world would know about it.
For so many years I’d avoided sex and relationships. Past disappointments and paranoia affecting my choices, but even with how good Liam had made me feel last night and the possibility that I could’ve been experiencing sensations like that for the last four years, I was still glad that I’d waited. It wasn’t just about the sex for me, it was the depth of feeling I had for Liam that had made the whole thing so amazing. Amazing. That sounded like such a load of bollocks even tome, Ms ‘Still Hopelessly Waiting For The Right Man’, but that was the only word I could come up with. Liam Delaney was fucking amazingandan amazing fuck,butif I’d been fucked like that by some random one-night stand, I knew that I wouldn’t have enjoyed it even half as much.
I understood right then that I wasn’t the type of person that could have sex with someone I didn’t have a connection with. I just wasn’t wired that way. I’d thought for years that my mum was some kind of whore for sleeping with a man that was married to someone else. I think that my mum just loved my dad so much that he was it for her. She knew that there would never be anyone else, so she took him any way that she could get him. When he vanished, when she couldn’t have him anymore, she sought comfort from whatever man she randomly brought back to our house. When she realised that wasn’t working for her, she simply gave up.
Tears filled my eyes as I thought about my mum and the years I’d spent hating her and how weak she was. It wasn’t just about the men she’d continuously brought home, the danger she’d put us in, or the way she’d neglected me in the few short years she was around. I’d despised her because she’d been “the other woman”. She knew he was married, and yet she kept letting him back into her bed. I always thought she’d tempted him, but what if he just couldn’t stay away and she just couldn’t say no? Now that I was feeling what I was for Liam, I sort of understood her and how she found herself in that situation. We’d spent just one night together, and I already knew that I didn’t want to stop doing the things that we’d done. In fact, I couldn’t wait to do them again, to do more, even though I knew he was married. I knew that his circumstances were different, but what if they weren’t? Would I? Could I have allowed myself to be talked into having an affair with him? Legally and morally, wasn’t that what I was doing anyway?
Liam being married didn’t change my feelings towards him. No, it was more the way I felt about myself that didn’t sit right with me. The sooner his divorce was settled, the happier I’d be with our situation and myself.
I slid out from under the heat of his body and stood on shaky legs. The moment I was upright, the evidence of last night’s passion started to run down my leg.
“Oh shit.” I covered my mouth with my hand, but it was too late, I’d said the words aloud. Liam stirred and opened one eye. He reached out and slid his arm around my hip and pulled me back towards him and the bed. I knelt in front of him. He opened both eyes and that was when he must’ve seen the panic in mine.
“Sarah?”
“We didn’t use a condom,” I whispered very quietly, as if by saying it that way, it would be less true.
I watched his eyes widen as realisation hit him. His mouth opened a few times before he actually spoke.
“You’re on the pill, right?”
“Barely.”
“Barely?” He sat up and pulled me across his lap. “What the fuck does that mean, barely?”
“I just started it. Just, I’ve never had any need to be on the pill, but when we started seeing each other, I thought it best to change that.”
“So how long are we talking? Are you covered? Don’t you have to be on it a month or something before it works?”
His hand went behind his neck, a muscle ticked in his jaw.
“The doctor said I should be safe after two weeks but to wait until after I have my first period before going without any other protection.”
From my position in his lap, we were eye to eye. I felt wet and sticky between my legs and wanted to move off him. Then, I had to stop myself from laughing. Of all the things I should’ve been worried about, my leaking what he’d left inside me over his lap was my biggest one?
He tucked my hair behind my ear. “Shit, I’m so sorry, Sarah. I didn’t even think. I got—” He shook his head. “I don’t fucking think straight around you.”
“It wasn’t just you, I didn’t even consider it either. There’s no, I mean, there’s nothing else I need to worry about is there? I mean I’ve never done it without a condom. The two times I have done it. In the past I mean.”
“No. Oh fuck, shit no. I’m good. You’ve got no worries there. I’m clean. I swear. I’ve not even had sex in . . .” He trailed off, not finishing what he was about to say. He stared at me intently for a few seconds before leaning in and kissing my temple. I could feel his heart thumping in his chest as I rested my open palm on it. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he said again.
I was totally oblivious right then as to what it was he was actually saying sorry for.
***
Sunday started as one of the happiest days of my life.
We ran across the road to my house, barely dressed. While I showered and washed my hair properly, Liam made scrambled eggs for our breakfast, he then watched with disgust as we drank tea and I dunked a Hob Nob into mine.
When I started to clear away the mess, Liam once again slid his arms around me from behind as I stood at the sink. He kissed my neck and made me feel like all the idealistic dreams I’d had as a stupid, immature pre-teen about romance may actually be possible, even for me.
Liam ended up lifting me onto the kitchen worktop and sliding inside me. My legs wrapped tightly around his hips, my heels digging into his arse cheeks while he gripped at my hair, making my head tilt back as he kissed, sucked, and licked at my nipples. I came twice around his cock and then a third time around his fingers and tongue once he’d dragged me back to shower with him. The breakfast dishes were abandoned, left sitting in the sink.
