Page 1 of Chasing Never
CHAPTER 1
Iwant to take the words back as soon as they’ve escaped my mouth.
If Nolan and I have children, you can have our firstborn son.
The offer is a stain on my lips, but instead of red paint, making me prettier, more desirable, it’s clotted and black, falling like crust off of my chapped lips, marking me forever for who I truly am.
Before I can take it back, before I can retreat from my own words, the Sister’s hand snakes out in a whirl of tendrils. She grasps mine, and in an inky moment, my hand is shrouded in shadows.
“It’s a bargain, Wendy Darling,” she says, and by the time she retracts her hand, it’s too late.
My stomach stings with guilt. Despair. But also hope. Hope that I’ll see Nolan again. Not that he’ll want anything to do with me once he realizes what I’ve done.
I expect to find the mark of a bargain on my hand, but there’s nothing left behind but smooth, pale skin.
“Very well,” says the Sister, sounding bored. I wait for her to command me not to tell anyone about the bargain, but thatstipulation doesn’t come. Of course it doesn’t. The bargain has already been struck, and it’s eerily in my favor. She hadn’t even made me retract the “if,” meaning I won’t be compelled to have children with Astor.
I’m not naïve enough to allow that realization to latch onto any semblance of optimism.
“Goodbye, Wendy Darling. I’ll be seeing you—sooner rather than later, I do hope.”
A chill that has nothing to do with the evening breeze of the garden slithers through my body, and then the Sister is gone.
Gone.
Panic stirs up within me as I realize I didn’t specify when she’d give me Nolan back. She could keep him for days, weeks, and I’d have no recourse.
I find myself pacing around the garden, panicking as the hedges loom over me, judging me for my indiscretions. My lack of maternal instinct.
When I turn back to face the Whittakers’ manor, I remember that Lady Whittaker paces its halls. I wonder what she—the woman who spends the remainder of her years atoning for her husband’s sins by caring for the helpless—would say if she knew I’d just bargained away my child.
But no.
I won’t be having any children.
I won’t turn into a monster.
A moment later, there’s a whoosh, then a crack. I spin around, my heart in my lungs, only to find the one sight I won’t ever take my eyes off again.
Nolan.
My Mate stands before me, shock and confusion in his eyes, the Sister’s hand on his shoulder. For a moment, I sense her smile under her shadows, and I worry it’s a trick. That she’s twisted my words somehow, but then she simply leans over toNolan and whispers quite loudly, “Goodbye, darling. Until we meet again.”
And then she’s gone.
“Nolan, I’m so sorry.” The apology flees my mouth before I can stop it.
“Wendy,” says Nolan.
And then he’s running toward me, and his arms are wrapped around me, one hand protectively gripping between my shoulder blades, his hook resting behind it, careful not to cut me.
He squeezes me so tightly I can hardly breathe, but I can’t find it within me to mind. With what little breath I have, I memorize his scent—pipe tobacco and teakwood. I press my cheek against his chest and count each thrum of his heart.
Because once he realizes what I’ve done, there will be no more embraces like this.
Indeed, after too short a time, Nolan pulls away, hand and hook on my shoulders. His green eyes are wide as he stares at me, examines me for any sign of harm. While relief had overtaken his face just moments ago, it’s been quickly replaced by dread.
“Darling, what did you trade away?”
