Page 58 of Operation: Silent Angel
“I’ve tried to consider that.”
“Why didn’t you tell him before he left?” Joe asked.
Yvette’s gaze went back to the cars in the parking lot. “He had enough to deal with, not knowing if he was burned with Interpol or not.”
Joe Lassiter clapped his hands slowly. “So mature, selfless, a martyr even. Now how about you dig down deep and find the real reason?”
She should have known Joe would call her out. “If I’m being honest, I’d have to admit it was because I was afraid if he didn’t feel the same, I could lose what we do have.”
“From the sounds of it, what you do have is not fulfilling you. You’re worth more than mere crumbs of a relationship, you know.”
His words landed hard. “It’s not about worth,” she argued.
“Isn’t it?” Joe waited as he watched her roll it around in her mind. “Yvette, you are one of the most self-confident, reliable, and even-tempered people I know. Your callsign of Control fits you. I’ve never once seen you hesitate in any Ops scenario. When you’re watching the Operators backs, they know you’ve got them. You command respect from everyone through the performance you’ve always given on the job. But personally, you don’t demand the same. You didn’t tell Mac what you wanted and needed the relationship to be. You didn’t show that same confidence. You didn’t demand respect, which you deserve. And respect falls under worth. You lead in Ops, but you stepped back and relinquished that lead personally.”
“Did I?” she murmured. “I thought I was being respectful of him and what he was going through. I didn’t want to press it. If he had wanted to stay or wanted more, wouldn’t he have said?”
“Why assume that? You wanted more and didn’t say a thing. You wanted him to stay, but never invited him to do so,” Joe pointed out.
“I’ve made my decision on what I’m going to do next time I see him; I don’t understand why my thoughts keep dredging this back up for me. Usually, it’s when I’m wrestling with a decision that I’m like this.”
“Are you beating yourself up for not handling it differently when he was here?” Joe asked.
Yvette shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe? I’m not one to normally do that, though. You know that, Joe.”
“I know. I also know that you are decisive, so making the decision and having to wait a few months to carry it out could be what’s causing this.”
“So, what’s your advice?”
“Maybe you need to speed up the timeframe. Shepherd could find out where he is or maybe even get in touch with him and ask that he reach out to you.”
Yvette nodded. She knew he could. The Digital Team could as well, and going through one of them would be less formal. “Let me think about it,” she said. “Maybe just talking with you today will help my mind settle.”
“So, you’ve talked with no one besides me about this?”
Yvette shook her head. She was still dismayed that Lambchop had been home when she’d gone to talk with Michaela. “I talked with Michaela, not realizing Lambchop was home the day Mac left. You know how I feel about maintaining a certain image with the Operators. I was truly aghast that he saw me in a less than controlled emotional state. So, no, no one since then.”
“Yes, I do know how you feel about it. All I can say is if anyone saw behind the curtain, Lambchop is the one you’d want it to be.”
“Yes,” Yvette agreed. She checked her watch. Certainly, they were running out of time for this meeting.
***
Mac switched SIM cards, inserting the one that he thought of as his personal phone line. He did it daily to check for important messages. Over the past few months, there had been a couple from Yvette, first wishing him well with Interpol after he left, and then just ‘thinking of you’ types of messages that never asked for a callback. He never responded. Today, there was one from her stating that she looked forward to December and spending time with him.
His heart swelled in his chest as it did each time he read a message from her. He wanted to be with her more than anything he could think of right now. December couldn’t come soon enough for him. He missed her terribly. He brought up his contact list and hit dial.
“Shepherd,” his familiar voice answered.
“Hi Shep,” Mac spoke into the phone. “Thank you for picking my call up. I need a favor.”
“I’m listening.”
“I’m working on something that only you can help me with. It’s important and has the backing of the State Department. Your wife will receive an invitation in the next few days. It is vital that you and she accept it.”
“Can you tell me what it’s regarding?” Shepherd said.
“No, not until you are onsite if you accept the invitation. It’s for both of you, and I promise there is no risk to her. I’ll be on-site and protect you both. But you may want to have Cooper and Madison on standby.”
