Page 54 of Operation: Silent Angel
Three days later, Yvette pulled her car up to the curb, grabbing a newly vacated spot. She put the car in park, wanting to extend the time with him. They’d had a wonderful three days together. They went out to dinner one night but spent most of the time at her place enjoying it as a peaceful retreat from a busy and dangerous world. They’d talked a lot about many subjects but steered clear of discussing their relationship and their future or lack of one, or any change to what had been the status quo for two decades.
“Christmas then,” Mac said.
“Yes. I’ll meet you back at the resort. I should know by the first week in December when I’ll be off.”
“I’ll have my personal phone switched back on that first week, waiting for you to notify me.”
She nodded. She had so much she wanted to tell him. “Good luck with Interpol. I hope it works out as you want it to.” That was all she could say as she really wasn’t sure how he wanted it to work out. She got the sense from him that he felt as though he was done there, disgusted and disillusioned by how it had played out with Ruiz.
Mac leaned over and pulled her into an embrace, memorizing the sensation of her chest pulled against his. “Thanks, Red. Me too.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and then he ran his fingers through her hair. “For the record, I like the longer hair on you.”
She chuckled. “Thanks. I’m still not sure it’s staying.” She pulled away just far enough to gaze into his eyes. “Be careful, Mac. You know where I am if you need anything.”
He kissed her lips, his tongue slowly exploring the inside of her mouth. It was unhurried and loving. A honk from behind them broke the moment, and he pulled back. “Thank you for the ride. Take care of yourself.” He paused for a moment, wanting to say so much more. He didn’t want to walk away from her. He’d gotten used to waking up with her beside him. And he loved not only working with her in Cancun but spending every minute of the last three days with her.
But they had a long-standing agreement, and she didn’t say anything that would indicate she wanted to change it. Had she wanted him to stay, surely she would have said something.
“See you in a few months. I love you, Red.” He opened the car door and picked up his backpack from the floorboards, between his feet.
“I love you too, Mac. Always have, always will.” She watched him get out of the car, and she watched his back until he disappeared into the airport terminal. Then, feeling empty and already missing him, she shifted to drive and pulled away from the curb.
Mac kept his eyes forward, unable to look back at Yvette. Had he, he surely would have turned around and returned to her.
Oscar
“Stop it!” Yvette said aloud to herself.
She sat up from the reclined position she’d been in. After returning home from the airport, she’d allowed herself to wallow in the self-pity and sadness she felt from Mac’s departure from her life, once again. She mentally chastised herself for getting used to his presence.
The simple fact was, she still loved him more than she ever thought she could love someone. That feeling hadn’t diminished over the years. If anything, his sudden reappearance had proven it was the opposite. The person he was, the person he’d always been, was the one person she believed God had made for her. His presence in her life fed her soul, brought her peace, and made her feel complete.
And his leaving created the opposite. She felt fractured, restless, hungry for his touch, hungry for his presence. Before he’d crashed back into her life, she hadn’t felt lonely. Now that he was gone, she felt hollow and deserted. And she hated herself for feeling that way. She forced herself to get out of bed. She went into her kitchen and grabbed a protein bar and a bottle of water. She told herself she’d have them and then exercise, and she’d feel better.
Several hours later, after a hard run that left her drenched with sweat and her legs aching, she put herself through a good stretch followed by a lengthy shower. Still, she didn’t feel better about Mac’s leaving. Before she gave it much thought, she pulled into Michaela’s driveway. While Angel and Madison were both good friends and would surely offer her a safe place to spill her guts, Alpha Team was in town, and she preferred not to have either Cooper or Jackson within hearing range. The DVR Team, and Lambchop weren’t due back until the next morning.
Michaela opened the front door after she had rung the bell. “I’m sorry I didn’t call first,” Yvette said.
“Yvette, what’s wrong?” Michaela asked, instantly seeing her friend was upset. She took Yvette by the hand and prompted her to step into the entry.
Yvette allowed the tears she’d kept in to burst forth. Michaela swallowed her in a hug. “I’m so mad at myself for feeling this way.”
“Mac left today, didn’t he?”
“Yes. Nothing was different this time, so why do I feel like this? I know what our relationship is. It’s not like I expect more. I’ve never asked for more, never believed it was possible. I accepted how it had to be decades ago.”
Even as she spoke the words, her inner voice called her a liar. Something had been different this time. She had secretly hoped that this time he’d stay. She’d hoped that this time, he’d declare he felt as she did. Things were different for her since she’d joined Shepherd Security. She had a home. She was settled. The work was the same, but she no longer traveled to far-flung countries, bases and outposts. She had a home she loved, friends, and a family at Shepherd Security.
“Maybe you’ve changed since you saw him last,” Michaela suggested.
Yvette shrugged in her arms. Michaela saw it too. Yes, Yvette knew she’d changed. Having real friends and a family that cared about her had to change a person, didn’t it? And when Shepherd was shot, how she felt, she knew then she’d changed. It had hit her harder than any other injury or fatality suffered by an asset she oversaw ever had. That had been a real turning point for her.
“Hey, is everything okay?” the distinct male voice asked.
Yvette opened her eyes to find Lambchop standing beside them.
He laid his hand on Yvette’s shoulder. “Can I do anything to help?”
Yvette internally cringed. He wasn’t supposed to be home yet. An Operator should never see her in this state. They always had to see her as strong, calm, their lifeline when they were in a shitstorm. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were back yet. I shouldn’t have come.” She tried to pull away, but Michaela held her more tightly.
