Page 52 of The Older Brother
Biting my lip, I finally let the smile slip through as I bat my lashes. He makes me feel so nervous. I’m not used to this kind of attention. I’m more often the strong girl, the good student, or the quiet leader willing to do what’s best for the team. I’m the confidant that my friends share their secrets with, or the girlfriend who understands when dates are canceled because of family obligations. I’m not so daft that I don’t know my best attributes. I’m athletic, and my body has good curves. It’s lucky, a little genetic, but mostly these things come from years of avoiding my anxieties by taking to the water.
But Rowan makes me feel special, like a princess at the ball. When he looks at me, I feel his affection in the heat of his stare. His attraction to me is intoxicating. His attention is a reward. And I know he likes me. So why is it so hard for me to ask him to come with me to see my dad’s band?
“I have a few clients coming in today,” he finally says, and it takes me a moment to remember even asking him about his plans.
“Oh, sure. I should . . .” I glance around the sparse bathroom, my pulse kicking up with a dose of adrenaline. He needs me to leave because he has a job—a business to run. And I’m loitering in here like some doe-eyed teenager.
“Saylor.” Rowan shakes my hand in his, then circles the back of my hand with his thumb. I’m feeling flustered and maybe a bit nervous.
I shake my head.
“Sorry,” slips out in a nervous laugh.
Rowan leans in and kisses my forehead, then grazes my bottom lip with his thumb.
“It’s not that I want you to leave. But you don’t have a car, and I’m the only one on shift this morning, so if I’m going to take you home . . .” He waggles his head, and I crinkle my nose as I squint, feeling silly.
“So . . . you like me here?” I want to hear it one more time.
“I do. A lot.” His voice is soft, and there’s a quiver in his lips that I’m going to pretend means he’s nervous too.
“Give me two minutes to comb my hair with this thing.” I snag his black comb from the sink counter, and we both laugh.
“Okay, and don’t worry if you break it. They come in packs of twenty.” My fingers slip from his as he backs up to the door, then slips outside to leave me with his ragtag barber tools.
The garage bay door behind his car is open when I make my way out of the bathroom, and Rowan is waiting for me with my bag slung over his shoulder as he leans against his car. I’m never going to look at this car quite the same again after what we’ve done on it.
“I got your things, andnotbecause I’m rushing you. I wanted to help. But also . . .” He winces, and I glance at the clock on the wall to the right. It’s almost seven.
“You’re rushing me,” I laugh.
He scrunches his shoulder and moves to the passenger door, opening it for me.
“But only because Mig will kick my ass if I’m not back in time to check in our first customer.” He hands me my bag as I sink into the passenger seat.
“It’s fine,” I say. “But I’m keeping this shirt.” I pull the collar to my nose and breathe in his scent as he rolls his eyes.
“I may as well give you my whole damn closet at this rate,” he jokes. I’m only up to two shirts and a pair of shorts that I don’t think he’s worn since high school PE. But if he’s offering his closet, there are a few shirts I saw hanging in there I wouldn’t mind commandeering.
It’s a Saturday morning, so the traffic is light as we cruise on the highway and up into the hills toward my house. The miles are passing quickly, and I know my window of opportunity to ask is shrinking. When we manage to breeze through the last intersection off the freeway and into my neighborhood, I shoot my shot.
“Would you maybe want to come with me to see my dad’s gig? If you get home from the car show in time, I mean. It’s okay if you can’t, but Miguel said my car probably won’t be ready, and I don’t really want to go with Cami. She’ll get bored.”
I hold onto his face, studying every little tick for clues as his lashes flit, but nothing abnormal, and his mouth tightens, but not in a way that looks like he’s irritated or put out. When I asked Caleb to go to things with me, like dances or the under twenty-one club where one of my friends DJs on weekends, he’d always get quiet and seem overcome by dread. I don’t think that’s what’s happening in Rowan’s head right now, but I’m alsogun-shy. Maybe this is an ask too far. It’s not like my father is a stranger to him. Sure, it’s been a few years, but my dad still knows the Anderson boys, and he knows I dated Caleb. I get that this will be an uncomfortable coming out as a couple. If that’s what we are.
“Let me see if I can scoot out of the auction early. But . . . yeah. I think I can make it work.” He swivels his head and hits me with a soft grin that sets my boiling insides at ease.
“Thanks, Rowan. I wouldn’t ask if?—”
He reaches across the console and takes my hand in his, giving my palm a squeeze.
“I like that you asked,” he says, cutting me off before I layer in all the logical reasons I need him to come with me. Truth is, I could find a way to see my father on my own, but IwantRowan there.
Rowan pulls to a stop at the edge of my driveway just as the garage door raises and my mom’s taillights glow.
“Working on a Saturday. Work, work, work,” I mumble. My mom would be thrilled to see me end up the same. She missed half of my swim meets in high school because she was putting in hours at the office or hosting some dinner for David and his clients.
“I bet I could quit the swim team, and she’d never know,” I whisper.
