Page 70 of The Trust We Broke
It means there’s a thawing between us.
Perhaps a pathway.
To what, I don’t know. But the idea that the two of us might be anything more than we have been the last few years, is an improvement.
“It’s good to know we can use you if we need to.”
There is something about his use of the wordusethat rankles me.
The sigh that escapes is loud. “I should probably go. And I’ll send you a bill.”
My feelings are all over the map.
“What did I say?” Grudge asks, concern on his features as he puts his mug down. I do the same, placing it on the kitchen island.
“Nothing. It’s fine. I’m going to?—”
“You know,” he says, cutting me off. “This. You and me. I think we need a rule.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m pretty sure it’s the last thing you and I need.”
He reaches for my chin, grips it deliciously tight. “Honesty.”
“Honesty?”
Grudge nods. “Honesty. We’ve been fucked up before because one of us wasn’t honest. So, if we’re going to be back in each other’s orbit, I feel like honesty is the one thing we owe each other. So, what did I say?”
“You said ‘it’s good to know we can use you if we need to.’ And, honestly, I’m very over feeling used. My ex was using me. My parents are using me right now. I don’t want to be used by your club. And I don’t want to be used by you.”
He shakes his head. “You misunderstood. I meant, it would be good for you to be a part of things because, despite everything, I trust you to show up and do the right thing like you did today.”
“Oh.”
He tugs me closer, leading me by the chin, with a look on his face so intense, I feel as though I could combust. “But the look on your face tells me you wouldn’t mind if I used you a little more, though.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
His thumb rubs along my cheek, then over my lip. I hear myself gasp.
“How has staying away from me worked out for you?” he asks.
I want to yell at him; tell him my past is none of his business. But I can’t when he’s looking at me with a hunger that sets my core alight. “We shouldn’t.”
“I know that. But is that a no?”
20
GRUDGE
Ican’t tell her I bought this house because it reminded me of the home we wanted to make together.
I can’t tell her that it brings me no end of pleasure, knowing she’d drop everything to come help my club like she did.
And I certainly can’t tell her that, despite everything, having her back in my life feels so incredibly prefect that I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
So, I do the only thing I can do when she shakes her head to tell me her protestations aren’t worth shit.
I pull her lips to mine and kiss her.
