Page 112 of Bonus Daddy
The look on her face told me she wasn’t just tired, but I wasn’t a mind reader. I had no idea what was going on.
“You didn’t make it on time.” She said it softly, disappointment rolling off her.
My gut plummeted. The last thing I ever wanted was to let her down.
“I got a call as I was getting ready to leave,” I explained. “Cliff Phillips is on hospice. They think it’sthe end.”
She gasped, her eyes going wide. “My God, I’m so sorry, Brian. I know how much you care about him.”
“He wanted to see me.” I scratched at the back of my head, ducking so she wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes. “So I drove over there. I didn’t stay long, but I didn’t realize it would take so long to get to the city and find parking.”
“It’s okay,” she murmured. “I understand.”
“It’s not.” I gritted my teeth. “I promise I wanted to be there for Kit, but he needed me. I care about all my clients, but this one is hitting me hard.” Emotion rose in my chest, but I swallowed it down. “I’ve worked with him since my early days at the firm.”
She pressed her lips together, surveying me, her eyes misty. “When you’ve lost people like we have, every loss is harder than the last.”
Our eyes met for a moment and stayed. It was palpable, the grief she carried. Not only for her parents but for the loss of her marriage.
More than anything, I wished I could take it all away. Pack it up in a backpack and lug it around for her.
The whole way home, the girls happily sang Lake Paige songs in the back seat, but Jess was silent, her focus fixed out the window.
When we pulled up to the studio, Kit and Greta bolted, as if they’d been cooped up for hours. They darted inside, leaving Jess and me sitting awkwardly as my car idled on the street.
Every instinct in my body was telling me to leave her alone, to give her space. Retreat.
Even so, I leaned in a fraction. “Are you sure I can’t persuade you to come over? I think the fam has some things planned.”
Jess shook her head, focus fixed on her hands in her lap.
“Can I come in, then?” I asked, tipping her chin up. “I’d love to talk more about today.”
When she finally looked at me, her eyes were teary.
“Later,” she said. “I need to feed the girls and get myself together.”
I nodded. Though I was crestfallen, I kept my face even. She washaving a hard enough time. The last thing I wanted was to make her feel worse. “I’ll swing by with Dammit on our evening walk. Tell Kit great job again for me.”
She nodded, though her gaze was distant, her mind elsewhere.
“I love you,” I said softly as she reached for the door handle.
She turned back toward me, a tear cresting her lashes. “I love you too. And that’s the problem.”
My heart lurched. “Problem?”
“Yeah, Brian. It’s a problem.” She let out a shaky breath. “I’m a mess. A screwup. And I’m worried that not only am I dragging my kids down, but I’ll drag you down too eventually.”
Part of my brain lit up. There was no stopping it. She’d just told me she loved me. But the more logical parts were terrified. How could she think so terribly of herself?
“We were doing fine. Rebuilding. Scraping by. We had a plan. And then you came along. And now everything is different.”
“Yes,” I said, my frustration growing. “Different because you’re not alone anymore. Different because I’ve got your back and I love you and your kids.”
Her tears were flowing in earnest now, the sight making my heart crack in two. Shit. I was only making things worse.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked. “I screwed up today?—”
