Page 142 of Second Sets Omnibus
I swear I’ve never seen a man go from one extreme to another. From full of love and life, to an empty, speechless shell of a man. River’s ghost may have haunted me from the moment we leapt on stage at The KC Club and swept the competition, butthe remnants of what I did stood right before me, slowly falling apart at the seams.
All of this is my fucked-up masterpiece of manipulation. I took good men and molded them into angry beings. I robbed them. I fucking robbed her of our promise. God. If I could create a time machine, I’d go and change the past. We may have our freedom and money, but at what cost? I take a deep, painful breath, begging the oxygen to fill my glass-coated lungs and squeeze my eyes shut.
Callum solemnly nods, slowly rising to his feet with the contract we signed years before clutched tightly in his hands. Slowly, he makes his way out of the room with his head hanging low, leaving me here in the silence of the conference room to suffer in the hell of my own doing.
Tears burn the back of my eyes as I stare at the tile ceiling with self-deprecating thoughts swirling a million miles a minute. I take a few moments to gather myself and push the looming guilt to the bottomless pit of my soul.
As I walk out the door, shoving my hands into my jeans and balling them, massive amounts of guilt swim in my gut, churning until bile hits the back of my throat. My only sensible solution after all these years is to set the truth free. I squeeze my eyes shut, assaulted by another memory lurking in the shadows and ready to strike.
“Are we ready for this?” I ask, flexing my fingers around the steering wheel of my Tahoe, eagerly awaiting the moment we leave Central City behind.
“Fuck this town,” Kieran grunts, shoving his middle finger into the air. “Fuck her,” he mutters with venom lacing his tone. Nothing but hurt sits on his twisted-up face. Proving to me that pushing River away was the best option for us. Eventually, I’ll have my brother back. Eventually, I’ll have my best friends back.
“Yeah, let’s roll,” Rad grumbles with less enthusiasm, staring out the window with a blank expression, losing all the spark he once held. Hell, he’s barely blinked since the night they discovered what River’s been up to. Or, what they think she’s up to.
Peering at Callum through the rearview mirror, I note the nod he gives me. Not bothering to say a word. Since he’s come back from watching Van kiss River, he’s spoken less than usual. Nearly turning mute in our presence. If I can get them out of this River funk and into our bright future, we could turn ourselves around.
I swallow thickly and pull out of the driveway, driving us toward our new destination—East Point Bluff, California. Where dreams come true. My mind endlessly wrestles with me on the rights and wrongs of this entire situation.
“Let’s start a new chapter in our life,” I say with confidence I don’t exactly feel.
The more distance we put between River and us, the more my heart aches in my chest, cracking from the wool I pulled over my friends’ eyes. Even though it’s for the best. It’s necessary. It needed to be done. Right? I had to do it. She would have just slowed us down. They would have turned away from our mission—the Battle of the Bands.
“Fuck,” I gasp out, clutching my chest as the pain engulfs me once again from the inside out, hollowing me further and opening the dark pit of despair inside me.
The world tilts when I collapse against the wall, holding my face in my hands. No matter how hard I tried to tell myself it was the right thing to do, I knew in my heart I had thoroughly fucked up and made a sticky fucking mess of the whole thing. I took each of their trust and crushed it in my hand. And for what? This? We’re fucking miserable together. Sure, we’re still making music, but apparently, we’re on our last leg. It’s only been fiveyears. And our career is already in the damn toilet. Worst of all, we haven’t been brothers since we stepped foot in California, because we left our glue back in Central City.
And it’s all my fault.
They weren’t the only ones who fell for River’s whims and free spirit—I did too. I held off for so long, the fear of getting close holding me back. Once I got my hooks in her, it was hard to release her from my grasp. It tore me apart to run to Van Drake. It still tears me apart that I climbed into that vehicle and planned the ultimate betrayal against her with a damn predator. But I did what I did because I thought it was what was best for the band. For what I thought was for our own good. Selfishly, I erased her from existence and ran away like a pussy.
“Fuck,” I mumble, digging my palms into my eyelids, pushing away the pain of my past.
Silent, pent-up tears stream down my face at the reality of it all. In a few hours, the four of us will be locked in a house together for six months. I’ve held this secret for way too long, and it’s time I come clean. And maybe we can get back to the people we were before I ruined everything. It’s like fate came and slapped me on the head. And…
“You’re crying,” says a little voice from in front of me, getting a front-row seat to my breakdown.
Sucking in a breath, my whole-body jolts, and I’m knocked out of my spiral. My gaze snaps forward, locking on a little girl standing before me. Her tiny dark brows furrow, and a frown pulls at her lips. Discreetly, I wipe away the tears streaming down my cheek and shake my head. Looking up and down the long, empty hallways, a lone thought filters through my mind. Where the hell are her parents?
I swallow hard when she gasps, looking me up and down. A tiny smile lights up her little face, and she taps my shoulder, gently squeezing in a comforting manner. “It’ll be okay, Daddy.”She pats me again and leans her tiny head on my shoulder with a dramatic sigh. “No tears,” she coos, gently squeezing again, sighing contentedly on my shoulder.
I lick my lips, sitting rigidly beneath her grasp. “Uh, kid,” I say, clearing my throat and feeling an odd heat billowing up my neck. She has to be wrong. There’s no way I could be anyone’s daddy. I haven’t touched a woman since… River. That night at the castle house on the lake was the last night I ever sunk my dick into someone.
“I’m not…” I swallow my tongue when she raises her head, looking directly into my eyes. She smiles again, taking in my face as I take in hers. My breath leaves, and confusion swirls in my mind at the familiarity. It’s like looking at a small River with darker hair and… “Your eyes,” I mumble, unable to look away from the blue, mismatched eyes much like…like… Kieran’s. They’re so damn rare to have; I’ve only ever seen one person with them.
Long, dark hair hangs over her shoulders, nearly down to the middle of her back, her mismatched eyes take me in, and her cherub face fills with light and love. Gently, she clings to a small white rabbit held against her chest.
“Bunny makes me feel better when I’m sad. Here,” she says, thrusting the tiny stuffed animal into my hand. “Now you’ll be okay,” she says with truth behind her words.
I scrunch my brows, staring down at the poor ripped rabbit, filled with light food stains and a ripped ear.
“Aunt Ode gave her to me,” she says, fiddling with the little ribbon secured around the intact ear. “She came out to see me. Do you know her, Daddy?”
I’m completely frozen, staring at this child. I shake my head, lifting a hand to touch her cheek almost out of instinct when a piece of her hair falls in front of her face. It’s odd to look into theeyes of a stranger and find comfort in the loving gaze she sends me. Like she knows me somehow. Like I should know her.
“What’s your name?” I ask cautiously, removing the piece of hair from her face. Her expression crumples from the beautiful smile she once held, and her brows furrow.
“You don’t know my name?” she whispers in a heartbroken tone, pulling at my heartstrings.
