Page 126 of Second Sets Omnibus
Where was I during their performance, you ask? Wallowing in my fucking grief all by my damn self. Stuck in my lonely apartment with no one at my side—my mom six feet deep, my boyfriends MIA, and my best friend on the fringes. My only reprieve has been coming to both jobs and making up my homework. I had a lot of shit to make up after getting beat up and then processing the fact my mom keeled over and left me with all this shit. But you know what? I’ve tried over and over to get into contact with these ghosting dickbags, and they’ve never responded. I could send an SOS, and they’d wave a hand and let me die.
One day, Odette drove me to Callum and Rad's place with little success. No answer. Empty house. It's like they never even existed. Maybe I made them up, and my boyfriends were figments of my imagination, and now I’m slowly going mad.
“Babe,” Ode says, squeezing my shoulder. “You’re going to have to go find them. Or something. I mean, they’ll have to know, right? You can't just… have their kid and keep it a secret. Jesus.Theirkid, Riv. Who is the father?” Her eyes widen as minenarrow into slits, and she grins. “Sorry, I'm just trying to lighten the dismal as fuck mood.”
“Odette, you bitch,” I say as a slight smile pulls at my lips. I might as well let a little humor crack through the bullshit of my life to keep me above water.
“I'm just saying! Four baby daddy possibilities!” she quips, shaking her head. “But seriously, you have to let them know.”
I blow out a breath. “I know,” I mumble, putting a hand on my flat stomach, trying to imagine the watermelon I will have in a few short months.
Images of my future with a baby flash through my mind as I pace in front of Odette. She sighs, leaning against the counter and watching me work everything out.
“You have options, you know. We'd never judge you for your decisions. Just saying, babe,” Ode says with a sad grin.
“I know,” I sigh, groaning when I put my forehead on the wet counter and groan more. “Fuck. This is bullshit! They fucking left me for weeks now! And they did this to me? Fucking Castle house on the lake…”
“Fucking sounds about right. Isn't that all you did on your little getaway? You were the main course, and they were the…”
“Please don't even finish that sentence, Ode,” I mumble, trying to keep the pressure building in my brain at bay.
“Right. We're very pissed off at them,” she mumbles with a defeated sigh. “Extremely pissed off at them.” Ode's eyes fill with tears, and she sniffles. “I thought they were so good to you. And here they went and…”
“Acted like every other Lakeview guy on the planet. Who would have predicted that River West would get screwed the fuck over by four fuck boys? They succeeded, didn't they?” Tears fall freely from my eyes again, my fingers digging into my palm. “They fucking told me they got close to me for my name, and what did I do? I got fucking knocked up by them. I let them in,Ode. I fucking…” My entire body trembles with rage, hurt, and disappointment. But mainly, my fucking heart shatters to the floor. “I fucking loved them,” I whisper through my quivering lips and shake my head when Ode tries to wrap an arm around me.
“I know you did. And I swear the way they looked at you… I thought they loved you, too. I don't understand. How could they walk away without talking to you first?” she asks, running a hand over her forehead.
“Because they didn't want to,” I say with resignation. “Maybe that was their plan all along.” And I was too blind, once again, to fucking see what was going on in front of me.
And that's the gist of it all. Callum saw something, misunderstood it, and fucking walked away with a trampled heart before hearing what I had to say. It's like that shitty misunderstanding trope everyone loves to hate in movies and books. None of this would have happened if they had just talked it over like adults. The drama would cease to exist, and they'd come back with open arms and tell me they were sorry. But this isn't a book or a movie, this is real life, and somewhere along the way, it all got twisted into this entire situation. And it's entirely Van's fault. I'm going to castrate him beyond belief for kissing me. Then, I’m going to throw his body to the damn pigs and cackle as they eat through his bones and make him disappear entirely. Ah, that would be the dream. I’m no murderer—but I’ll get my revenge if I ever see his face again. Lately, he’s been in the damn wind, only texting me instead of showing his face, mentioning something about being in Europe for some damn internship I don’t care about. I know I’ll see him eventually. He’s like a damn pest, always turning up.
“You need to go demand answers,” Odette says, pursing her lips. “You need to knock on their doors, punch their faces, and force them to listen to you!” she harps on, raising her fist in theair. Next, she'll get the pitchforks and fire, and we'll storm their castle.
“Already tried that, remember? They weren't home. Hell, maybe they stayed in California,” I say with a defeated shrug. Throwing my head back, I stare at the ceiling, letting more frustrated tears fall.
Odette doesn't say a word. Silence falls between us until I stare at her guilt-ridden face, and she huffs. “They won.” Those two words punch me in the fucking gut, and all the air leaves my system.
The groupie part of me is fucking ecstatic they're living their dreams. But the baby momma part of me wants to yank their balls through their throats and dig their graves with my bare hands.
“Of course they did,” I huff, throwing my hands in the air. “They fucking won. They're living their best life and shit… here I am. I'm knocked up and fucking fuming…”
“Direct that anger at them, babe. Take my car and go and confront someone. Maybe Kieran's mom? Ask her and see what she says. Oh shit, don't give me that look. I'm just saying,” she says, placatingly holding her hands in the air.
“Every single person in that neighborhood hates my guts,” I grumble, butterflies making my stomach swoop. “But fuck it. Someone has answers for me.”
Ode hands her keys to me and pats my back. I shove all the pregnancy tests into my jeans pocket and quietly walk out of the bathroom and into my office, grabbing my coat.
“I'll hold down the fort here, okay? It's too early for a big crowd. So, we'll be good. Now, go get them bitch!” she shouts with encouragement, shooing my broken-hearted ass away.
I bet ten bucks she's tired of watching me pace and angrily cry out my frustrations. Ode won't admit it, but she wants me to handle this before I work myself up to stab someone. Again.
“So inspiring,” I grumble, waltzing out the side door toward the parking lot, pulling my coat tighter around my body.
Chilly air smacks me in the face as a few snowflakes float from the heavy clouds from above. Shaking off the shivers, I gasp for breath. If I thought Illinois summers were awful, meet Winter, her ugly, cold bitch of a sister, delivering several inches of snow today.
I shake my head, walking past my poor Bessy, and stop dead. Last time I checked, my poor Bes was covered in a thin layer of dust, yet she sits here, cleaned up, and… What the hell? My brows furrow at the small white note tucked beneath the windshield wiper, soaked from the weather. Picking it up, I carefully open it and nearly drop it on the ground.
“Stop fucking walking.”
